Nothing

Crashed
Originally uploaded by xadrian.

I know I haven't written you lately. I feel like I want to tell you things, but there's nothing that comes to mind. I've ignore you, I've ignored Flickr and Penciljack and the rest and I think they're starting to resent me for it. I've noticed some of them are making it harder to log in. Can't say I blame them.

But I just can't seem to find a reason, a muse, a spark. This stack of index cards and its doodlings doesn't fill the void and I'm sorry. I know it's been since forever that I've sent you anything, given you a reason to update your feeds. I wish I had more answers for you. I've tried writing scripts and short stories but I can't seem to get past the idea part of it. I know that hurts you to get only these blithe updates about kids and I know you crave content. I can understand if you want to leave.

I can't say if you give me another chance I'll take it. I don't see movies. I don't read particularly fast and what I read isn't new. I watch a lot of TV, but I'm sure you're tired of being linked to other sites with reviews. That can't feel good. But you can't say I didn't try at the start. I had lots of ideas and a few projects I really thought were going to go places. I gave what I had, I just don't think it was enough.

I'm not hurt or angry with you, I know you have better things to do and deserve more. I'm not going any where. In fact, I have a few things I need to get out of the way and then I'm going to really focus on myself, hopefully pull out some good material and then you won't feel like such a waste of time and space.

And if you see DeviantArt, tell them I never want to talk to them again. They're fucking crazy.

Sincerely,
Ben