Two Inches

What's The Clearance Clarence?
Originally uploaded by Jeremy Brooks.

I was hit with a foundation shaking revelation this weekend. It's one of those discoveries that makes you question your own sanity and place in the world.

I'm two inches shorter than I thought I was.

For nearly two decades, when asked, I would tell people I'm 5'8". I don't generally have a problem with my height and it rarely has given me pause in my every day life. Sure there are times while playing basketball or volleyball that I wish I was a little taller. There were times while doing shows in high school and college where I thought were I just a few inches taller, I'd be getting the lead roles instead of the plucky comic relief bits.

However, I never played the victim because of my average height. I knew I was at or just below average height for men in the US, but again, I'd never really thought about it at length. To be sure, the topic would come up every month or so as human conversation drifts towards the statistic and people compare ages, height, length of time in Taiwanese prison, etc. It was very prevalent in the afore mentioned theater productions because costuming required measurements.

My height was 5'8"

That is until this weekend when G-man was playing with a tape measure and wanted to know how tall everything was, including daddy. So we measured him (he's 3'7") and then a couple other things including the dogs, and then me. Now, I expected the index finger and thumb to pinch the tape at the 68 inch mark, but it didn't. I was measuring myself with a four year old helping and I thought, well, maybe he's holding it a couple inches off the ground. I had Ms. A help. At this point I wanted to give G-man an accurate measure of daddy's giant stature, but I was also touched with a 10% sense of foreboding.

Sure enough, sixty six inches.

"That can't be right!" I blurted out. Ms. A began laughing. She's known me for almost 13 years now and she knows that I tell people I'm five eight, just like I know she tells people she's five two. It's not even a social badge, it's just a biological fact.

Or is it?

This really bothered me, but not in the way you'd think. The actual measurement, the raw datum resulting from stretching the tape from floor to scalp isn't important. What is important is if I'm ACTUALLY this tall, what has changed in my perception of myself? Yes it's a body image shift and that's troublesome enough, but the mere fact that I've just now noticed this after all this time worries me. What changed? Was I lying to myself this whole time? Was my subconscious trying to shield me from what it perceived as a degrading biological label?

How could I have been so wrong?

Ms. A, of course, as well as the rest of the house is loving this. The short jokes started almost immediately and I played along as best I could, but writing this now has opened up a little bit of pinkish hurt on my person and I'm having a hard time recovering. What else am I wrong about? Are my eyes blue? Am I a dad? Is my middle name Michael? What else is false that I have thought this far to be an absolute truth? I've tried explaining it to people and for the most part the reaction is either, "You're still taller than me" or "It's just a couple inches." But it's more than that.

Ms. A thinks my weight is compressing my spine or I'm doing the old man shrink. Which is worse on a surface level, but at least not as existentially devastating.

It could be that the tape measure was off too.

So, what did you do this weekend?

(follow up here)

Bye bye, Dollhouse

Well that didn't take long.

Earlier today, Felicia Day posted a twitter about the episode of Dollhouse in which she would guest star. Sadly, she wrote that Fox would not be airing it.

What? Fox canceled Dollhouse? Shocking.

Agreed. But on the heals of ABC airing the complete series of Life on Mars, allowing the mini season to at least wrap itself up, you'd think Fox would take the noble step and do the same thing. But alas, they're going to stop with #12 and you can only see #13 on DVD.

Frankly, Fox, the only reason I'd buy the DVD to see the last episode is because I'm a Felicia Day fan. It has nothing to do with the show itself, which wasn't great, but I'm sure better than whatever you'll put in its place; that will likely be a reality show in which low IQ hard bodies are scared into eating dancing fifth graders for a million dollars.

Looks like it's back to watching Firefly on DVD and The Guild online.

UPDATE!

Apparently we all jumped the rails on this one. Joss himself has written that due to the early filming and then rewrite of the pilot episode, they're contracted into 13 episodes - the scrapped pilot counting as one. The studio won't make a call about the season until the Upfronts at the end of may. So we might still see Felicia Day's episode if there is a season two, but it might still exist only in DVD format. If that's the case and there is a season two, we better hope there's not much in the way of story development that we don't get to see.

Carry on.

Happy Birthday Ole

Today in 1891, Ole Kirk Christiansen was born to a poor family in Jutland, Denmark (though I've also read some sources say it was Filskov.) Little is known about his childhood other than he worked factory jobs, trained as a carpenter and eventually opened his own shop in response to losing his job do to the depression. He built ironing boards, step ladders and wooden toys and when his factory burned down in 1947, he rebuilt and focused only on toys.

The term Lego comes from a Danish phrase "leg godt" or "play well." But it also means "I study" or "I put together" in Latin.

The Lego System of Play debuted in 1955 and this was the first time the now ubiquitous plastic studded bricks were seen. A patent was created for the interlocking shape and in recent years that patent has expired and been challenged in courts around the world. Lego's biggest rivel Mega Bloks (now Mega Brands Inc) has continued to sell interchangable bricks while Lego has been unable to prevent them citing trademark violation.

Lego has branched away from simple contstruction over the years to include more technical and even robotic construction. The toy is a household name, has spawned theme park type attractions and a stout world wide fan base. In the late 90's it teamed up with Lucasfilm to deliver Star Wars toys which lead to other branding cross overs including Batman and Harry Potter.

I've spent hundreds of not thousands of dollars on Lego over the years and will likely spend more on both myself and my kids. I hope in 20 years they'll continue to love Lego as much as I do.

For a good example of what can be done with Lego, check these out.

Sitcom Sets in Miniature

HMS Hood

Lego Business Cards

Eddie Izzard Death Star Canteen done in Lego

Review: Dollhouse 1.7 - "Echoes"

Just a reminder these can also be seen over at Television Zombies. Which currently is running episode 77.5 which is a VERY important episode. Please listen.

Our recap hints at a few of Echo's previous engagements, including her first saying he'll never forget her and ending with Laurence hitting her in the face with a rifle butt in "True Believer." This leads into the meeting between Caroline and Adelle DeWitt, the meeting we believe started it all.

Caroline is a troubled woman, but we don't learn why. She approached the Dollhouse and Miss DeWitt, but she doesn't say why. We know that Miss DeWitt wants five years from Caroline, then she's free. They've also apparently known each other for at least two years and this isn't their first meeting. There's talk of a Rossum Corporation being owners or partners with the Dollhouse. Adelle pours some tea and says that nothing is ever what it seems.

A couple students enter a lab where a third is stripped down to his shorts, playing with open jars of flies. He's clearly hopped up something and proceeds to run into a window, then dashing his brains out on the window trying to flee. As he's smashing his bloody head against the spider webbed safety glass, we pan back to see the name on the building, Rossum.

A man named Clive Ambrose is talking to Adelle about a drug that's somehow been released on Freemont College's campus. It impacts impulse centers. They have only two vials, but one is missing, so he's asking the Dollhouse to send in all agents to lock down the campus, quarantine any infected students and keep it quiet. Also, Topher needs to come up with an antidote. The Actives/Dolls can't be affected because they already lack impulse inhibitors since they are blanks slates. Adelle finds out Echo is on another engagement. We also find another active's name is Foxtrot, so the phonetic alphabet continues. (My Doll name would be Mike, because it's lame.) Echo's other engagement is the same motorcycle guy from before, but different imprint this time. This time Echo is not as badass, but she is wearing a skirt very susceptible to wind and thigh high lace stockings. (This is me rolling my eyes.)

Our first of two scenes with Suspended FBI Agent Paul Ballard has him making breakfast for Millie. He wants to take care of her because he's sweet and noble and likely feels a bit guilty about all this. He assumes it's the Russians who sent Hearn to kill Millie. She says he should stay off the Dollhouse case, which he obviously can't do, so she leaves.

A convoy of black vans and SUVs pull into Freemont College. Victor, Sierra, Laurence Dominic as well as a slew of other agents and dolls coordinate their efforts. Victor is now NSA, which cheeses Laurence off because, as Victor said, "...a few hours ago you were saying how much you liked applesauce." Sierra is a doctor with the CDC and she's wearing a white lab coat. Do they do that outside of a lab? Meanwhile, Alice (Echo) has her motorcycle client tied up in bed getting ready to video tape some hot nonsense but she screws up the controls and turns the TV on. It's a news report about the student suicide at Freemont. She has a flash of something in her brain and says she has to go.

This flashes us back to an earlier time, likely around five years ago. Caroline and her boyfriend/husband Leo are sitting around drinking and eating and talking with their other social activist friends about the evils of Clive Ambrose and the Rossum Corp. Other than Caroline, they all look like activists. That's all I'm saying.

Topher has Millie (Doll sign = November) in the chair and he's giving her a dose of the drug so he can study and create an antidote. While doing this, Adelle tells Topher that Clive is not just a client, but Rossum funds a lot of what the Dollhouse does and in turn, the Dolllhouse returns funds to aid in what Rossum does. So it's a giant brain scrapping, whore pimping slush fund disguised as scientific research? Echo/Alice, gratuitous thigh highs and all, rides client's bike into campus looking for something but she's not sure what. Of note, early she said she'd never ridden a bike before. NSA Victor sees her walking around all stoned and thinks she's been infected so he brings her to their make shift medical center where she meets Sam. Sam was in the room with the student who smashed his brains out. They talk and she says she needs to get into that lab. Hey so does he and he can get them there, but doesn't know how to get in. She can get in but doesn't know where it is. Together they form a super sleuth team and avoid all security.

Boyd has tracked Echo to Freemont College which doesn't make Adelle very happy. As he's talking to her, another college zombie comes up to him and they make skin contact accompanied by an obvious slow-mo of the contact with hissing sound effect. I think at this point in TV world, we know infections spread a few ways; I don't think we need to be hit over the head with the "clues." Boyd is infected now and when he finds Echo/Alice and Sam, he gives her the treatment line but she refuses. He's flummoxed but laughs hysterically about it. We flashback to more of Caroline's Capers and her activist friends planning a raid on Rossum.

Meanwhile at Dollhouse HQ, Topher go it from November and then he gave it to Adelle (again, slow-mo and hissing.) They get progressively higher and the rest of the show turns into a big pot joke. It starts with Laurence turning very effeminate and finally handing over his gun to NSA Victor because it's heavy. Sam and Alice go back to his room to get a map of campus and so Sam can change shirts. (Are we sure this is done by Joss Whedon and not the iCarly Fan Club? Yeah, Sam's hot and cut.) They have to find Lilly Foundry for some reason only Alice knows. Topher and Adelle are cute and high and she says she's too British and Topher doesn't have pants on. Boyd calls in and says he's figured it all out, but then plays piano to Adelle and Topher on speaker phone while Sierra watches him. (Yes, he's in with all the other infected people.)

While Topher and Adelle are talking about what the color blue means to you, Millie arises from her chair and starts reliving her event with Hearn, even quoting the Doll-Kill-Now command, but she's talking as though she's talking to Paul. Clearly the drug is screwing up the actives as we also see Sierra reliving an event in a warzone where a soldier tries to rescue her as well as the "game playing" by Hearn. Victor starts collecting firearms after a security guard with an invisible humping dog starts shooting into the air.

Echo/Alice and same can't find the building but they find Lilly Foundry is a man hole cover so they go underground and Alice starts having more Caroline memories of breaking into Rossum. She leads Sam to the lab. It's the same lab she was in with Leo where they are there to video tape all the animal cruelty. But they find babies in jars and computers with brain scans and as they try to make sense of it, a guard comes in and shoots Leo as they're fleeing. Along the way, Laurence sees Echo and starts drunk-apologizing to her about trying to burn her to death. She says it's ok but he's in a mood and will not let it go, girl.

Sam, it turns out, wanted to get back to the lab not to get evidence, but to hide it. The drug was his and his friend Owen's; the student with the glass brains. They were going to sell it to a rival of Rossum and make a lot of money. Sam's mom was counting on him being a good college student and making money to help support her. It was his chance. So he doses Alice with a drop on a handkerchief and bolts. She fights through it and follows him. Her past and her present line up and she's chasing Sam and following Leo. Leo dies in her past and Boyd punches Sam in her present. Only now does she go in for treatment.

And then it all wraps up nicely. Topher figures out how it's affecting both regular people and Dolls and is obviously able to work out an antidote. We see Echo strolling leisurely inside the Dollhouse. Adelle and Laurence, though they never interacted in their goofy state, apologize to each other and it's back to business as usual. Millie packs some bags and leaves her apartment for a while, not sure when she'll be back. Paul is sad but says it's better he not know where she is, but reminds her that she knows where he is. We end with Adelle pouring a cup of tea for Sam and making him an offer including help for his mom.

Five years, then you're free.

Free from consistency, apparently. Did anyone fact check this or run it past a group of thinking individuals?

Here were my problems. When the show starts, Clive Ambrose is showing a picture of a dead Owen to Adelle and Topher and saying he was working on a psychotropic memory drug that has many phases, the first of which is giddiness followed by a loss of impulse control. But that it also spreads like a virus because "one vial could take down the entire student body." So, the drug they are making is transmittable LSD. You don't need pushers any more, you need zombies. Shoot 'em full of this stuff and let them loose into populated areas. In a show that's already pushing it as far as plausible science goes, introducing a new viral drug from which you can get high just by touching someone is a little much to center an entire show around.

The loss of impulse control would be a danger, as seen by Owen doing his best moth near a window impression and the air-dog guard shooting into the roof, but the rest seemed recreational. It was obviously an unintended side effect of the compound they were working on, but it seemed sloppy. They had a drug that changed people's inhibition levels, altered their hippocampus chemical makeup and was transmitted by touch, and yet they had students with access - no, the students made it?

Because it was Sam and Owen that made it, probably with the encouragement or even help of Rossum. But when Owen drove his own hippocampus through the safety glass, they didn't suspect that his best friend and co inventor Sam had maybe hidden the other vial?

And why wasn't Sam infected? He'd come into contact with Owen early. was he immune? Did he have an antidote? Are you telling me cracking open a container of a highly contagious drug and using only a handkerchief will keep you safe? And by the way, stop it with the handkerchiefs. They're only used by old men and creepy guys who want to drug hookers with chloroform. A college student wouldn't carry one, for real. Stop it.

Topher may have saved the day today, but he also claimed that the Dolls wouldn't be affected by the drug. Based on his advice, Adelle okayed the operation which included almost all actives and when they became infected it nearly cost lives. Had he been more cautious instead of being a fearless hipster scientist, half the story doesn't get told. And did he save the day? He mentioned proteins but that was about it and the next thing we know Laurence is getting his gun back from Ms. DeWitt.

"Echoes" felt sloppy. It felt like the story wasn't told as tightly as it could have been even in the face of the story itself being a barely controlled outbreak. The timing only worked when Echo's past and present lined up. It only worked with Adelle first offering Caroline the chance at a new life and then 40 minutes later offering it to Sam. The rest of the time was disjointed and it didn't feel like it was done purposefully, but more with a careless lack of attention.

Three creepy doll heads.

Storm in Austin

Blue
Originally uploaded by xadrian.

It wasn't a big storm, but there was golf ball sized hail up in P-ville before I got home. I left a rained out basketball game to drive up 360 as the front was passing over. I commented to someone that it wasn't just a storm, it was like driving in the Nothing from The Neverending Story.

If you're from Austin and you read this, did you get any photos of clouds or hail?

Review: Star Wars the Clone Wars 1.21 - "Hostage Crisis"

Cad Bane, Cad Bane, Cad Bane. You couldn't go five minutes on Cartoon Network without hearing about Cad Bane. It was reminiscent of 1998-99 when there were posters and t-shirts and Taco Bell cups and merchandise galore of Darth Maul. We must love our Star Wars baddies.

I will admit, Cad Bane is pretty cool, but this is his first showing having only previously appeared in a web comic that leads up to "Hostage Crisis." He has a way to go before he's Boba Fett cool, or even Jango Fett cool.

He and his palls arrive at the Senate building on Coruscant. The Senate Guard approach them and demand some identification, which they provide with blasters and fists. (Of note, one of Bane's palls is Aurra Sing, first seen in one of those "don't blink" moments of the podrace in Phantom Menace.) Her sniper rifle brings down the bulk of the guards and Bane's palls do the rest. The group is comprised of Bane, Sing, a Weequay, a small fish like creature, a few IG series assassin droids and a couple Separatist commando droids. After they take down the platform guards, the commandos fake a guard voice and radio back that it was protesters and they've been taken care of.

In Senator Amedala's office, Padme and Anakin are discussing getting away for a couple weeks. Well, he is and she's saying she can't because she's trying to get a bill passed through the Senate. He reminds her that they are married and never see each other, and starts asking what's more important, her Republic ideals or their love. He reads her the riot act (as much as you can in a short cartoon) and then goes into the construction of his lightsaber. He recalls when Obi-wan said it was his life. Then to prove his love for Padme, he gives the lightsaber to her, saying it's his life. She says it's heavier than she thought. They kiss.

***WARNING: TRIVIA AHEAD***

Anakin and later Luke's lightsabers are made from photography equipment called flashguns. The construction of these props is insanely simple. So simple that to make one, all you have to do is take the parabolic mirror off the flash gun. Some additional bits like calculator buttons and clipped windshield wiper blades can be added for good effect, but the main hilt remains nearly as is. When they were designed in the mid 70's, Lucas and his crew didn't have access to the time, money and equipment needed to create the all the props for the film so they had to get creative. Now, even though antiques fetch understandably higher prices, vintage photo flashguns that normally cost between $30-50 are now running in the hundreds, sometimes thousands of dollars because you can make a lightsaber out of them.

***END USELESS TRIVIA***

Anakin and Padme's scene really got under my skin, but I don't blame this episode for it, I blame the overall chemistry these two have (or don't.) Let's be honest, Padme is a smart, hot, powerful woman. She has fought battles against droids and beasts, knows how to fire a blaster and fly a ship. Anakin, for all his Jedi powers, is a whiny bitch and always has been. Especially when he's around Padme. He's petulant and selfish and never ever grew out of his childhood fear of the universe being out to get him. I was hoping that Revenge of the Sith would have shown a darker, more steadfast and resolved Anakin, even if he was evil. But it was more of the same, and The Clone Wars didn't help that at all. In fact, every time these two interact, I wonder what they see in each other, especially was she sees in him. Sadly it comes across as an abusive relationship, as though she'd leave him if she wasn't so worried about him getting angry.

Regardless, they love each other.

Back to the story, Cad Bane and his group take out more guards as they move farther into the Senate building. I know animation can be time consuming and expensive, but I was just in the state capitol building here in Austin and it was jammed with people. You could even get in to watch the actual Senate during sessions. To say that the only people around are guards and bounty hunters is simplistic and sterile.

Anyway, they take out these guards and a couple droids. The leave the fish guy in the control room of the Senate building. Anakin and Padme's kiss is interrupted by Senator Bail Organa and Threepio coming into her office to tell her that a Senator has scheduled an emergency meeting in the lobby before they go vote on the Invasion of Privacy bill, which is funny to Padme. Anakin is hiding under her desk and she had to pick his lightsaber up and hide it in her sleeves. Bail Organa urges her to follow.

Bane and his crew sneak through the hallways and use a thermal detonator to take out a squad of guards during a change in shift. Aurra even blasts a survivor at point blank range, reminding me of Megatron blasting Ironhide through the deck plates. Such heroic nonsense. The Senators meet in the lobby followed by a roof blasting Bane and his crew. One of the Senators says he will not be treated this way and makes to leave. Bane shoots him in the back, then suggests they all sit tight. Senator Orn Free Taa tells the Chancellor he needs to see something and turns on a holocommunication with Bane. He tells Palpetine he's taken hostages and control of the east wing and they want Ziro the Hutt released. Palpetine says they don't deal with terrorists (not really, just easier to say) and they'll be met with force. Just then the fish man in the control room starts pressing buttons and pulling levers and all the lights go weird and all the doors close. Bane says he's in control.

Palpatine tries to radio outside but can't. Bane starts collecting weapons and Padme tells Bail Organa she can't be searched. Bane approaches her and starts in with the smooth scoundrel talk then catches her eyes looking past him to where Anakin is hiding in the hallways on an upper level. Bane turns around and starts blasting and immediately calls out "Skywalker?" and then orders his henchmen to go after him. I barely got a good look at Anakin, how Bane knew he was there or was able to recognize him in the shadows was not explained.

The Weequay and IG droid go after Anakin through the Senate building. In one of the oddest moments of the series, the Weequay shines a light into a darkened room where he startles a buxom female droid that looks more like she/it belongs in Futurama than Star Wars. She's alone and in the dark...and they're in the Senate building. Take from that what you will, but to me it was both out of place and a little naughty. May be just me but I have no other explanation for it.

The cat and mouse continues, but Anakin has no weapon. He finds a communication station, busts his little communicator open and hot-wires them together to get a message to the Chancellor. Then he uses a Jedi mind trick to distract the bounty hunters and the two split up to search the other floors. Anakin goes after the droid. Why you'd go after a machine first is beyond me. I'd go after the weaker, softer guy first. The Weequay sees the downed droid and reports back to Bane that the Jedi doesn't have his lightsaber, so Bane sends Sing along (heh) to hunt him down. Anakin sees the fish guy coming out of the control room and tries to get to him before the door closes. The Weequay and Sing find him first and Anakin Force yanks the blaster from the Weequay but gets it shot out of his hand by Sing. While he's occupied, the fish man jumps him from behind and jabs him in the neck with a taser.

Orn Free Taa takes a pardon disk from Palpetine to the jail where Ziro is being held. The bounty hunters drag Anakin back to the lobby. He's out cold and handcuffed and they dump him with the Senators. An IG droid and Orn Free Taa go to the prison where a squad of clones oversee the exchange for the colorful and stupidly offensive Ziro. Bane secures the Senators in the lobby with the help of laser rigged explosives. If anyone tries to leave, they blow up. If anyone tries a rescue, Bane will detonate them. The droid and the Hutt pull up on the air car and the rest of bounty hunters jump in and take off. Anakin wakes up, gets his lightsaber from Padme and cuts a Tom and Jerry hole in the floor. Bane tries to cheer Ziro up by blowing up the Senators just as the floor circle gives way and they all crash safely onto the level below.

Bane and Ziro race off into the distance.

Lucasfilm is really trying to set up season two with a arc-spanning villain and who better to fill that ignoble position than a bounty hunter. I'm not sure of the point of this move, though. The Republic is already waging a war against the Separatists and that group is already chock full of bad guys and droids. Were people getting bored of never seeing Count Dooku wield a lightsaber? Were we yawning through all two of Asajj Ventress's scenes? Did this show need ANOTHER bad guy? The list just gets longer and longer and the Republic is running out of time. We're down to mere months, even weeks before the events in Revenge of the Sith and I'd like to see a little more movement by the Chancellor and less gimmicky alien bad guys. Lucasfilm has made it clear that this show is canon, so let's see some story telling.

Cad Bane is a great character. Whoever designed him and whoever does the sound work over Cory Burton's already impressive voice does a bang up job. Cad Bane is purposeful and his no nonsense methods are almost likable. He doesn't waste time, he doesn't monologue, he gets in and gets the job done. Plus he's got that awesome hat.

This episode was suppose to run before Ryloth story arc, but I have a feeling that given the final Battlestar Galactica was on the same night, they decided to shuffle it. It's a shame really because "Liberty on Ryloth" was a perfect way to end the series. It was a three episode story, it built up and it paid off. This doesn't leave me wanting more; it was self contained and frankly if we never see Bane again I'd be ok with that. He was good for this and doesn't have to come back time and again. Having bounty hunters get their way seemed to be a downer of a finale even if we enjoy it when bad guys win.

Three green lightsabers.

Review: Dollhouse 1.6 - "Man on the Street"

I'd been hearing all week about how Joss himself said that if you'd stuck it out through the first five episodes, that this would be the payoff.

He wasn't fooling around.

I'm stuck in this self induced cycle of figuring out if the "Man on the Street" was actually that good or if the first episodes were just that bad. To be fair, they weren't all bad and to be fairer still, there have been only five episodes. But, all things considered, and comparing Dollhouse to no other shows on TV right now, this episode was amazing.

Yup. I said it.

But there's a danger in why it was so good tonight, and we'll get to that later. First let's go through the events that happened, because happen they did in spades packed in kung-fu grip action.

The episode starts off a little slow and stereotypically TV. A news reporter is asking people on the street if they've heard of the Dollhouse and if not, what they'd think of a place that can program human beings to do whatever you want. It's the responses you'd expect and it was the worst part of the show. There have been very few movies or TV shows that ever do the man-on-the-street bit with any credibility; it smacks of production and the average folk come across like bad actors and not real people. In fact, I find it hilarious that a TV show doesn't know how to make something look like a fake TV show. In the end, despite the title tie in, that wasn't as important as it was probably meant to be. The idea was that the Dollhouse was being close to being in the public eye and linking it to average citizens' vernacular tried to accomplish that.

When we left the Dolls, Victor was crushing on Sierra and Echo was remembering bits of each engagement but not enough to build a big picture; not yet. We also know that Agent Ballard is dangerously close to finding the Dollhouse, having seen the missing Caroline on the news and being just hours behind her in Arizona.

Ballard gets some information about some financial movements on one Mayflower group. He has his FBI friend Loomis do some legwork and they find that there are in fact large transactions going back and forth but one specifically happens every year on the same day and the next day is immanent. He also has a run in with Agent Tanaka about this being a dead case. The transaction comes from a dot com success Joel Mynor played by Patton Oswalt. He waits at a modest house while his private security sweep the area. Then Echo shows up. Agent Ballard sneaks in and busts Mynor and Echo in the midst of an odd domestic dream sequence of buying a home. Ballard hesitates and it's enough for the security guards to step in. It also allows Boyd Langdon to come in and get Echo out of there. Ballard dispatches the security and then has a lengthy talk with Mynor about his fantasy. Mynor relays a story about how after years of sticking with him through rough financial times, he bought a house to surprise his wife but she was killed while en route to see it. Every year he recreates the event with Echo. It's a sweet story and yet another scenario in which a Doll could be used.

Ballard can't do anything to Mynor because he basically broke in without a warrant so he has to leave him. Back at his place, his neighbor Mellie is hearing about the story and helping Ballard ice his yet again shirtless muscles. (Seriously, this guy loves taking his shirt off.) And, whoa! They kiss. She says don't kiss her and think of Caroline and they try to go back to being neighborly. Quick shot of Mrs. DeWitt's office and they have a surveillance camera in Ballard's home.

And speaking of surveillance, the Dollhouse has an internal problem for which they're checking the security tapes. Sierra has had sex, and not on an engagement, but recently and while at the Dollhouse. Victor is the prime suspect but Dr. Saunders and Boyd don't really buy it. At one point Sierra screamed and recoiled at Victor's touch. The Doc says there's a difference between liking someone and having sex with them. Too right, Doc. Boyd wanders around looking for holes in the security camera coverage, calls Laurence Dominic and has Victor's temporary handler and Victor taken away in front of everyone. Hearn (Sierra's handler) tells Boyd good work.

But it was a setup. A group of Dolls including Sierra walk down a hallway and into the gap in security cameras. Sierra goes into a room where Hearn is waiting. He tells her he's ready to play, she says she doesn't like it but knows to keep quiet and he starts to take his clothes off, and that's when Boyd punches him through the glass door. He saved the day but is put on probation, with a bonus, for doing a good job, but being so violent about it. Topher later is creating the ultimate badass imprint for Echo but lies to Boyd about her assignment.

Mellie and Ballard are recovering from a bout of love making (that was fast) and Paul asks her to help him with his case, she agrees. She's adorable and their banter is FINALLY some Whedon-esque material. He goes for Chinese food. Mrs. DeWitt has Hearn in her office with his wrists zip-tied. He's shouting about them not thinking that marching all these super hot zombies around would lead to this kind of abuse. She offers him a choice; be sent to The Attic or go kill someone who's getting to close to the Dollhouse, this person being Millie.

Ballard is at a Chinese food place when he catches a reflection of Echo in the kitchen, he goes in and she begins kicking his butt. They fight for a LONG time, throwing pans at each other, moving into the alley and fighting all over a parked car. Finally Echo gets the upper hand and starts relaying her message. He's getting close to the Dollhouse, but he has to stop trying and let them back off. They have someone on the inside, someone who corrupted the imprint on Echo while the programmer wasn't looking. There are 20 Dollhouses and they have ties to everything. Fantasy is their product but it's not their goal. They need Ballard to find out what that goal is, but first he has to back off and let them win. Then she tells him people he knows could be in danger.

Mellie answers the door and it's Hearn in a mask and he begins beating her up while the sound is drowned by orchestral music and everything is in slow motion. Just when I'm ready to say, "I told you so" and chalk up another character killing to to Whedon, the phone rings. We see Agent Ballard trying to call while running back, but it's not his voice on the answering machine, it's Miss DeWitt. She says, "There are three flowers in a vase, the third one is green." Hearn hears this and hesitates but Mellie's eyes light up and she begins kicking Hearn's butt all over the apartment. When she's dispatched him, Mrs. DeWitt says, "...the third flower is yellow." Mellie returns to her previous self and freaks out. DeWitt watches it all on the security camera.

Laurence congratulates Adelle on her playing a good hand and all the loose ends are tied up. Victor is back, Sierra is not screaming, and Echo is painting a house. Adelle talks to her and Echo says the painting isn't finished, but we get the idea she doesn't mean the painting. The painting is a recap of the scene in front of the house with Joel Mynor. Paul Ballard is suspended from active duty, turns in his gun and badge, much to Agent Tanaka's delight.

Before we go any further, there's a character I've neglected to mention from this and the previous episode. Her name is Ivy. She's an assistant to Topher and so far has been relegated to bringing him food when he's hungry, organizing the lab and making clever one liners. I didn't think she was that important. I should be ashamed for thinking that, knowing how shows like this work. I knew Mellie was important - actually I thought she'd be killed, I didn't see this coming. But Ivy now has a unique opportunity to be the mole on the inside.

Because who else could it be? No one has the programming ability to alter what Topher does. They all know generally how the set up works, but not the technical aspects. He has the keys to that kingdom, and as we say in the network administrator world, he's a single point of failure. So is Ivy the mole? I'm not sure. Reason being is not because she's unassuming, but something in the way she acts (not character wise, I mean the actor) just doesn't seem like she could command the camera to be in that large of a role. That may not be fair, but it's a gut feeling.

Also, we're assuming Echo's message was compromised and wasn't a big ploy by DeWitt and Topher to through Ballard off. They could keep using Echo to delay and distract Ballard as long as they want. They used Victor for the same reason, this is just another way to get to him. Having the girl he's been tracking for so long confirm everything he's been after and then say to wait until he's contacted again is a brilliant move. It was my first thought, in fact, that it was all a ruse to get him to back off.

Only time will tell.

But time won't tell us that this was a great episode. As I alluded to earlier, it's a dangerously good episode because Dushku was not the main character; Agent Ballard was. There were three distinct stories this time and Echo was only involved at a cursory level. She played her femme fatale role at the end quite well, but if I were Joss, I'd be worried that the bit players on the show are more interesting than the main character. But she's not really a character, is she?

Still, four and a half creepy doll heads. There are times I want to slap Topher and his abbreviated words, and Dr. Saunder's scars are hanging on just a little too long. Next week looks fairly entertaining as well.

Smokeless

Dear Cigarettes,

I know ours has been an on again/off again relationship. You've been there for me when I thought the world was trying to eat me alive. Through all your new looks and styles, you've always been the thing I needed, the fallback, the prop, the calming assurance.

But I think it's time we were just friends.

I know I should do this with a phone call, but you're an inanimate object that I'm anthropomorphizing with this "Dear John" letter so I can have a witty way to write about quitting this habit. You'll just have to accept, now, that I'm breaking both a forth wall and our relationship.

I just want you to know that it's been really good. You've given me so many reasons to get outside and break up my monotonous days. You've introduced me to new people. And even though I want you bad right now, I can't fall victim to that. You can't be habitual any more. You've become high maintenance and it's only going to get worse. I spent over $1000 last year on you alone, and that's money I'll never see again - it's not like I'm investing. You just don't give back.

The good news is, I still want to be a friend. I'd like it if we hung out every couple weeks, maybe over a few beers or a long night of drinking at a friend's house. Yes I know I'll hurt the next day, but better to hurt a little in the morning than for the rest of your life.

I don't know what will happen to you, honestly. You've got lots of other options, but you're pricing yourself out of a lot of peoples' comfort range. I'm worried for your future, but I just can't be part of it any more. I really hope you understand.

So, I'll see you around. I know we've done this before, but I have to look out for my future now. I have kids and special people in my life that I want to be around for a long time. You aren't helping with that. But I wish you luck with whoever you end up with.

Cheers!
-ben

PS You can keep the tee-shirts.

Steampunk Cylon Contest

Steampunk Cylon
Originally uploaded by xadrian.

I wish there was a way to vote for this, I could drum up the tens of people who read this to cast their lot with my little design.

Alas, I'll leave it to the fine folk at DVICE to decide whose Steampunk Cylon is the best.

Thanks to Mrs. A for taking a couple of nice shots. I can now take him all apart and start building something new.

Spring break is winding down, my dad and step mom came for a visit and we went to SeaWorld and out to eat a lot and to the capitol building. They're heading back today but the week's not close to over.

Ms. A is completely enamored with SXSW and will likely spend a good part of the weekend finding free shows and drinking free beer. She got a migraine from some edamame so that plan may be in question. However, SXSW is just tying up all of Austin whether you go or not.

I've got a wristband for some free shows but I'm not even sure when I'm going to go, or even if I want to. I'm not a fan of festivals and Ms. A and I came to the conclusion that this event is primarily a trust baby or music industry pleb scene. Even music fans who try to go to this event will not be able to see everything they want, even if they could afford to get into the official shows.

I don't want to down play this too much. It's good for musicians trying to get some fans and it's decent for the Austin economy to have this influx of people. I know not everyone is a fan of this event, seeing it as a big shadow over the city. There's a lot to Austin and this event makes everyone in the country think that all there is to our city is music festivals. Yes, Austin is the Live Music Capital of the World, but it's also the capital city of Texas, a very liberal oasis in a normally conservative state, a great place for arts in general and a good place for those who like being outdoors. I actually can't wait for it to be over.

But that's just me. I watch TV and play with markers and Lego.

Carry on.

Reviews

Here are a couple reviews to look forward to over at Television Zombies.

Dollhouse 1.5 "True Believer"

"True Believer" might have me being a believer in this show.

The Dollhouse has a major client in a US Senator. He needs help getting inside a Yearning for Zion like religious cult compound. He enlists the help of Miss DeWitt and her organization to insert a sleeper agent into the community; and agent with a very special ability: Her sight is transmitted to federal agents.

The problem is, it renders her blind.

A group of singing, smiling cultist arrive by white bus to pick up some supplies from the local five and dime and a mechanic tries to pick a fight with one of them. They keep smiling and eventually the sheriff comes in to restore the peace. However, the store keeps looks at the back of the shopping list they gave him and on the back is written "save me."

Star Wars: The Clone Wars 1.21 "Liberty on Ryloth"

The penultimate episode and the final installment of the three part Ryloth arc gave us a lot to digest. The Ryloth story could have been told as a 90-120 minute film of its own, it's the perfect Star Wars type of story and it mirrors Return of the Jedi very closely. An evil group has taken up residence on an otherwise unassuming world and are using it for a military purpose. The good guys, in league with the local inhabitants, rise up and defeat the occupiers.

The difference here is the Rylothian Twi'leks are not cuddly teddy bears. They aren't exactly warriors, but they are able to hold their own against the droids. Mace Windu is leading an attack against the capitol city which is being held by Wat Tambor of the Techno Guild and his tactical droid second in command. Tambor's arrogance will not permit him to evacuate despite the droid's calculations and Count Dooku's insistence.

(make sure to stay tuned to TVZ for the full reviews)

Star Wars Live Action

Unless you're a geek who has been living under a particularly large rock, you'll likely have heard the reports over the last few years of the impending doom-er...live action Star Wars television show. Well it's now official and casting is underway.

I honestly don't know where I stand on this. I mean, there are parts of the Star Wars universe I like and parts I don't. It's natural with something as awesome in scope as Star Wars that there are going to be times when you just don't like what's produced. To some extent Star Trek is the same way. And it's not specific episodes or films I like more or less, it's aspects of the whole. The analogy would be that you enjoy the taste of tomatoes and cheese but you don't like club sandwiches.

I like space battles, not gonna lie. Way back when the PC game X-Wing vs. TIE Fighter was out, I was cultivating a sincere love of vehicles flying around in space shooting at each other. The bigger variety of ships, the wider the range of sizes and capabilities the better. I LOVE Star Wars spacecraft. I love it. A Twitter account was recently set up to ask a daily question and yesterday posed, "What did you want to be when you grew up?" I answered a test/fighter pilot, but only because I wanted to be Luke Skywalker or Wedge Antilles. Han was cool and all and the ladies loved him, but I knew I wasn't that cool. I wanted to be the starfighter pilot with an enviable and nuanced command of a laser blasting bird of prey.

And thus comes my problem with a live action Star Wars show. I'm trying to think of a franchise that started as a movie and then became a TV show. And I don't mean a TV movie or mini series, I mean a full blown Hollywood film. At first I had a hard time thinking of a good example, so using my wiki-fu I was able to find a decent list of movies that had been made into serial TV shows. I was surprised how much I'd forgotten. I also noticed Smallville isn't on that list and that was the one example I was going to use. I guess the Superman story was first a comic, then a TV show, THEN a couple movies, then a few more TV shows.

So if you look at that list, it's not a great track record. There are some exceptions where the show was as good as the movie; M*A*S*H, The Odd Couple, maybe Highlander, but for the most part the TV shows were either animated adaptations or hollow money grabs to further the property. And in even rarer instances (Buffy) the show was better than the movie.

How does this impact a live action Star Wars show? We've seen that sci-fi/fantasy can be done on the small screen with varying success (Doctor Who, Battlestar: Galactica, Hercules/Xena, Smallville, Stargate SG-1, Lost, Supernatural) but where the show ends up being broadcast may determine its success. Genre shows on broadcast networks, with a couple mega-exceptions, don't do well. Critically they are panned and they tend to be short lived and usually run out of money. They do better on smaller channels and cable, however, because their ratings don't have to compete with hyper-reality TV. Even better, if they lived on a subscription channel, they could have total control and tell the story they want. So where would Star Wars live? Knowing Lucas, he'd make his own channel, but I'm going to guess if it doesn't go on Sci-Fi, then it's going to ABC.

Why ABC? Well, ABC is tied to Disney and Lucas has kids. He's going to make a show that's for young adults, by young adults, starring young adults. It's going to be The Rebel Alliance 90210. If the slapstick antics of Episode 1, the horrible love story in Episode II and the hormone filled rage of Episode III are any indication, don't expect there to be any Jedi, droids, starship fights, lightsaber battles or much political intrigue. A live action Star Wars is going to be about Princess Leia fighting with her adopted dad, Bail Organa, and how he doesn't understand her. She doesn't want to be a Senator. She loves Gareth, the starship mechanic from the wrong side of Aldera and their love will end this war Daddy!

*ahem*

So no, I don't have any faith that a new show will be any better than the Clone Wars animated show (which isn't bad, but not great), any of the prequel movies or, and I shudder to even type it, the Holiday Special. But it's Lucas, so whatever channel he picks, whatever time slot, you can be guaranteed that it will run as long as he wants it to.

Bump for Science

Yesterday, President Obama reversed the Bush administration's stance on stem cell research. The short of it is, the federal government will now fund research outside of the limited lines of stem cells than previously funded. It doesn't seem like much and it won't return results tomorrow. What struck me was his remarks about science as a whole.

Here's an excerpt.

This Order is an important step in advancing the cause of science in America. But let’s be clear: promoting science isn’t just about providing resources – it is also about protecting free and open inquiry. It is about letting scientists like those here today do their jobs, free from manipulation or coercion, and listening to what they tell us, even when it’s inconvenient – especially when it’s inconvenient. It is about ensuring that scientific data is never distorted or concealed to serve a political agenda – and that we make scientific decisions based on facts, not ideology.

You can read the full transcript of his address here.

There be reviews here!

Just a regular update to let everyone know there are reviews up over at Television Zombies for the most recent episodes of Dollhouse and The Clone Wars episode 19. Also, #75 of TVZ is a listener call in show, check it out.

Also, I'm going to start posting my reviews here as well. No reason not to. I hope to drive some traffic to TVZ and I get content as well. Win/win.

To that end, here's a treat, review of episode 20 of The Clone Wars as not yet seen on TVZ. (Tantalizing!)

Review: Clone Wars 1.20 - "Innocents of Ryloth"

In "Storm Over Ryloth" we learn the Separatists have taken the twi'lek homeworld, starving the inhabitants and using them as human shields. The Separatists are using Ryloth as a droid reclamation outpost and the operation is run by Wat Tambor, a Techno Union Foreman and lead strategist. He directed Mar Tuuk's blockade as well as a tactical droid's hostage taking in a small twi'lek city.

The blockade broken by Anakin and Ahsoka, General Kenobi and Master Mace Windu begin their surface attack. However, the droid army, led by a rather egotistical tactical droid, have some major artillery in an outlying city, preventing the main Republic force from landing. The canons are surrounded by twi'lek hostages, making them impossible targets of Republic bombing. Kenobi and a few gunships full of clones set down outside the range of the canons and approach on foot. Some lead scouts find a small girl, Numa, who's been left behind. Her involvement is very reminiscent of both the first time Princess Liea met Wicket and the help Newt gave to Ridley in navigating the facility air ducts. Numa is able to lead the clones underneath the city and avoiding most of the droids. Obi-wan sneaks in and uses one of the canons to blast the others. The hostages then rise up and pull the head off the tactical droid. The Republic can now land safely and plan their assault on the Rylothian capital city.

Obi-wan even withheld offering his trademark smirking one liners. In fact, the General showed some impressive Force control during an attack by a few dozen giant, heavy shelled tick-like beasties. "The Force can have a strong impact on the weak minded," was a line he later used talking to Luke about getting past Stormtroopers, but subtle nudges in disposition are nothing compared to drawing a dozen elephant sized, heavily armored and hungry creatures into a dead end and having your clone troopers collapse the walls behind them.

In fact, "subtle" was clearly avoided in "Innocents." As with most of the show, things exist in heavy contrast to each other, likely to appeal to younger audiences. It's never in doubt who the bad guys are, but smaller things like the twi'leks being such bright ranges of colors, but their city being a drab uniform brown; the clones being so cool and calculating but inherently human versus the slapstick buffoonery of the metal and circuit droids; little Numa who weeps at the loss of her home but is unafraid of rushing head long into unknown, possibly droid infested areas.

"Innocents" has the ignoble position of being the second of three installments and as far as confrontations go, it was not as impressive as "Storm Over Ryloth." The numbers were smaller, the battles were more intimate and yet it still conveyed a sense of urgency. What's little known of the twi'lek race is that their chief export is slaves. This makes the Republic's fight on Ryloth a little deeper than what's seen on the surface. Most viewers will understand the Republic's desire to remove the Separatists from their position at the end of the famed Corellian run and return Ryloth to a Republic friendly status, but they're also freeing a people whose main purpose in the galaxy is to be slaves. It's perhaps the one subtlety this episode provided and it would have shown and even deeper understanding from the writers had they mentioned this fact.

Still, a solid episode. Well worth the four and a half green light sabers.

100 Artists Plug

Along with everything else going on, I have to remind people (and myself) that the 100 Artist Project is still going on. In fact it's seen a resurgence in the last couple weeks now that I've got some administrative help.

I'm sure all 12 of you are up and coming artists or persons of importance in the art world, so I'm going to ask you to please spread the word about the project and help get more eyes on it and hopefully more artists involved. It was a surprising success the first time around, but only because I brow beat people and was likely put on hundreds of spam lists. I'd like to get another round going and see if it can carry its momentum into future projects.

Cheers!

ABC Cancels "Life on Mars"

What is it with TV lately?

If you haven't been listening to the Television Zombies podcast, you'd be missing out on some quality debate over the life spans of, what are considered, "cult" TV shows.

Television is undergoing a weird transition where viewers are becoming more liberal with where they view programs and yet the money structure that supports these shows still relies on the numbers of eyes in front of the television when the show airs. What this means is a lot of good programming is being axed because viewers weren't watching it at 8pm on the nose.

That's an oversimplification, obviously. TV ratings have declined since the strike of '07-'08. Shows that were media darlings slipped disastrously and to fill the void networks produced the cheaper and human drama heavy reality shows - even variety and game shows made somewhat of a come back.

But what does this mean for good old fashion hour long dramas? What about sitcoms? Now that we have more choice as to what to watch, networks are being very picky about what they put up and if it doesn't get ridiculously high ratings, the show disappears in a single season, if that. Even shows with big names and major hype aren't safe. My Own Worst Enemy with Christian Slater didn't last 5 episodes. NBC's big expensive Crusoe didn't make it a full series. ABC's Pushing Daisies, arguably one of the most creative shows in the last 10 years, was canceled after two seasons, its last three episodes left unaired. And now Life On Mars is falling victim to the ratings crunch. Oddly enough, it will be allowed to finish its season and wrap up its fledgling storyline, but it's another casualty of an antiquated system.

And why is it antiquated? Digital recording has allowed viewers to tape shows and watch them at will. Network web sites have offered full episodes of shows that just aired. Online movie rentals allow you to stream entire seasons of TV shows. Yet the numbers the networks base the popularity of these shows don't factor these advances in because they aren't as ad revenue based and thus make no money for the network. This is starting to change, but we've lost a lot of good shows and will likely lose more before it's all said and done.

And what replaces these shows? When Life On Mars leaves, something will fill its spot. They'll shuffle the line ups and schedules and I'm sure there will be another Dancing With The Stars to keep us all entertained. We'll have another shallow show about rich people finding love from gold diggers or how a group of people can't find their ass on a map or live together in a disgustingly awesome house. It's pervasive, you can't avoid it and it's truly horrifying to think that the majority of people in the States watch it. People I admire for their taste in literature or film watch American Idol. People who wouldn't be caught dead listening to popular radio watch Survivor.

And why is that? What makes these rubbernecking trainwrecks of shows so popular? Because they are trainwrecks and we can't help watching them. (Well, you can't, I'm prefectedly capable of avoiding them.) But let's make something clear; the shows you see on Discovery Channel, TLC, History Channel, etc. I would not consider Reality TV. I would consider them documentaries or science programming. In fact, those shows SHOULD be called reality TV because they contain information, historical fact, useful scientific principles. An impossibly good looking blonde eating a bug or jumping off a cliff isn't real, it's hyper reality. The only real part of those shows are the people in them an that's debateable.

But the only way we'll get past this is to embrace scripted programming, even if it's one with a laugh track. The only way to tell the networks we're not idiots is to stop watching these shows. If no one tunes in, they can't possibly keep making them. Help me help America's IQ and turn off these shows that celebrate mediocrity and ineptitude. Challenge your mind to follow along with complex stories. And if all else fails, turn it off altogether and find something to read.

Carry on.

Destination Imagination - Behind the Scenes of The Seven Seahorses

First of all, Seven Seahorses is an awesome name. It evokes a certain Kirosawa quality.

Destination Imagination

So here's what LMA and Ms. A have been working on for the past couple months.

Gate Geek

I hate when this happens. You've been warned.

This weekend I caught a showing of Stargate on cable. It's one of my all time favorite movies and despite the regurgitated syndication of television shows it remains a solid science fantasy movie. Even after 15 (yup) years it still holds up a well produced film.

But there's a plot hole I never saw until just now.

For those who haven't seen it (and seriously, how can you be using a computer, the internet or breathing if you haven't) the story revolves around an unearthed piece of ancient technology that opens travel between star systems. A scientist and a group of soldiers take the first ride to a planet on the other side of the galaxy where they find a civilization much like ancient Egypt. It turns out, Ra - the sun god - was an alien. (Later in the television shows he is shown to be of a race called the Ancients. How droll.) This alien used the uncivilized humans to create an empire for himself, essentially creating civilization on Earth. This proves the scientist's theory that the pyramids were created by aliens.

Ra's slaves revolted and he fled, but he created (or planted) a stargate on Earth and then kidnapped a few thousand humans. On this new planet, Ra outlawed reading and writing to avoid another revolt, but when the scientist and soldiers show up, the slaves revolt again and this time Ra isn't able to run.

It's a neat story, but there's a problem with the technology.

The gate contains 39 symbols or chevrons. It spins around on a free wheel and uses 7 locking mechanisms to hold selected symbols in place. Once you put in the seven correct symbols, the gate opens and you can walk through it to the new location. The way it's described in the movie is problematic in that the scientist says you need seven points to plot a course through space; six for a destination and one for the starting point. There was a cover stone with six symbols on it, but the original team couldn't figure it out until the scientist came in and figured out that the symbols are all star clusters - constellations. The seventh symbol, the point of origin, was a representation of Earth.

Ok, it kind of makes sense if you're watching and aren't thinking about it too much. But I did start thinking and here's my problem.

First: Now I could be wrong on this, but I thought you only needed three "points" to plot a point in space. The intersection of the lines drawn from an X a Y and a Z intersect to give you a point. On a plane this is triangulation, so I'm assuming someone smarter than me looked up how to go about doing this in 3 dimensions. But this leads to my second problem.

You have to use spatial coordinates to plot anything. If I was using the methodology from the movie, I'd have to know six distinct coordinates, which are usually of an X, Y, and Z variety. So that's 18 numbers already, but where am I measuring FROM? On Earth we coordinate using established longitude and latitude lines, and we only need two numbers. But in space are we measuring from Earth? The Sun? The center of the universe? There's a great article on how the TARDIS from Doctor Who moves through space (and time) but I won't get into it here. Needless to say, it's starting to get dodgy because without a frame of reference, even the six points I need to use to find another point are in question. So what do I use? What happened here is whoever wrote and finalized the script wanted to use symbols. It allowed an ancient language expert to join a military venture. So the symbols were tied to star clusters and with out suspension of disbelief, we were baited and switched over the facts that coordinates equal star clusters equal symbols. Symbol one is Orion which is x28, y105 and z254.

Point the third: Even if the coordinate you used was a single star IN that constellation, that star moves. Gates (for the most part) are on planets that move around a star that move within a galaxy that hurtles through the universe. So let's assume you've rationalized the coordinates being a star cluster and that each on is represented by the cluster's dominate star, it would be like plotting a point in your backyard using moths; it'll never be the same. This led me to believe that the symbols are not coordinates at all, but an address. It seems more likely that you could use a group of symbols to find almost a postal location. The gate is there and has a dialing or mailing code so you use other gates to find it. My house doesn't move in relation to other houses in the eyes of the postal service, so sending it to 123 Main St. Austin, TX, 78701 USA will always get it to the right place, no matter how fast you and I plunge through the cosmos. So, we can equate the 7 symbols to and address. That's easier right?

Not so fast, Dr. Jackson. Here is my final point and the one that can't really be resolved. In order to travel to another place, I'm giving you six symbols, based on my location, to represent where I'm going AS WELL AS a seventh symbol representing where I am. Let me say that again using the mailing address analogy. I'm going to mail a package from Austin to Dallas. In order to know where to drive, I need an address. The address is a street number, street name, zip code, city, state, country. Six symbols, right? The seventh is my point of origin. The package is GOING to Dallas, it doesn't need to know my current location to get there, so it's 7th symbol will be "mailbox." Ok, so using the Stargate method of travel, I'd tell my package where to go by addressing it based off things only I can see from Austin (star constellations only I can see from Earth.) If I looked north toward Dallas, I'd see a couple clouds, a building, maybe a few cars. So I'd address my package, "To: Big cloud, little cloud, bank, Chevy, overpass, jogger. From: Me."

That's what Stargate is doing.

It's telling us this gate can open a wormhole to another place by giving it directions to ourselves. The star constellations only make sense if you're on Earth, if you're using them as an address and not coordinates. If you're using coordinates, it only works if you account for drift and a known center of the universe. In short, it doesn't work either way.

Not to mention the fact that if you're using the number of symbols on the wheel as a method of "dialing" a location, you'd be trying forever to figure something out. I used an online permutation calculator so I can't claim my alegebra is right, but of 39 symbols, using 6 as a subset (assuming 1 never changes as a point of origin) you have 137,231,006,679 possible destinations. They explored that in the show and alluded to the idea that there are gates almost everywhere in the universe, but at this point I think they're method for dialing is flawed.

See what happens when I get an itch on my brain like that? You were warned.

Dollhouse et al

Well folks, here it is. The long and ill awaited Joss Whedon product that most fans have given a deathclock like countdown until its demise. The pilot episode was rewritten, parts were re-shot, it was given a Friday time slot and its cast has some of the hardest names to pronounce. In the end, will the show be able to stand on its own amidst the sometimes unwarranted negative press and move toward a stable and regular offering for Fox?

Not based on this first episode.

Read the rest of this review and others as well as news and commentary at Television Zombies dot com.

Also, there's a call in episode coming up. Leave any tv-related questions you can think of at 1-888-204-9591. It's a free voicemail, so it's like leaving an anonymous comment on a web site.

The Kids

DI Painting Day
Originally uploaded by Cheryl Rollman.

So much has gone on lately that I've lost focus as to the nature of this blog: The kids.

I think because the life I live seems crazy, almost reality show like, and the one constant seems to be my kids. Their lives and the changes in their lives seem a normal contrast to the weirdness that pervades life in our house each day. Between people moving in, people dating, people visiting and friendships being made, it's easy to overlook these two little wonders. I think the last time I even mentioned them was back in August at the start of the school year.

Little Miss Austin has become a girl. She's not a tomboy or a toddler or a tween yet, she's a little girl. She likes shows with girls in them, plays video games with cooking and butterflies and loves to wear pink. Her go to accessory is a hair band and she talks about her boyfriend who's not really her boyfriend. As much as I want her to watch Star Wars and play with Lego, she'd rather dress up as a fairy princess and pretend to own a story selling ceramic nicknacks. She loves jumping on the trampoline and collecting shells.

LMA is hitting a growth spurt too. Her knees hurt in the morning and it reminds me of when I was that age how coming down the stairs was a painful exercise. She's still small for her age and when her Destination Imagination group has their meetings, you can see that she's still so small compared to her classmates. But her hair is long and her eyes are big and she does quite well in school. Her latest report card was all A's and she had pulled a few of those grades up with a little hard work and some help from the adults.

G-man is just a card. He usually runs around the house in PJs and squeals a lot at every little thing that catches his eye. He's a happy child but more and more he's picking up habits from his moody big sister. When told he can't have ANOTHER piece of cheese or a bowl of cereal 20 minutes after that bowl of oatmeal, the tears shoot out of his eyes, he cries like he's been kicked and then he runs upstairs - just like his sister. But for the most part he giggles and wants attention and just loves on you like a rambunctious koala.

He's also quite fond of computer games and has taken to them rather quickly. He knows how to play most children site games and as long as we know what he's doing, he's fine to play on his own. We don't let them play all day and after a certain time all TV and games go off, but I'd rather he play some games than watch TV.

Both children play with my Lego as well and it's wonderful to see what they make and how it relates to their personalities. LMA likes to build town things; houses, buildings, small cars, etc. G-man likes to build things with wings and guns and as many people crammed on as possible. They always defy physics too and I think they're sparklingly creative.

Both are adapting well to all the changes in our house. They are well loved, well played with and well cared for. I'm not there as much as I'd like but with three parents, they get a lot of coverage. I know they'd love to go out to eat more and go to more movies and go to themed play area eateries and that's something I feel bad about denying them mainly because of how the economy has hit everyone. We try to make up for it by doing other things like fishing and going to the parks and playgrounds and playing games at home when we can. Ms. A has her hands full with all the DI meetings, but I know the kids love having people over.

We're quite lucky that we're in the neighborhood we're in now. There are a lot of people we know and a lot of them have kids. When we move (if we move) we want to stay in the place we are because the kids, despite all we've thrown at them, seem to be adapting just fine. They are great kids and I could not imagine what would make them better or make me love them more than I already do. With all their kid hang ups and tantrums and other youthful foibles, they are perfect.

Courage Campaign

This breaks my heart, that it's come to this.


"Fidelity": Don't Divorce... from Courage Campaign on Vimeo.

I know we're all different and we all have different beliefs. I can't make anyone feel something different than what they do. It's not my job to change your faith, alter your moral polarity or convince you one way or the other. But come on, this is turning into qualifying human beings based on a biological trait and that is called bigotry and hate. The only reason I can understand how strongly people are against it is because of how strongly I feel for it. Neither are laden with reason. And thus, can they be given laws?

Big News - The Facts

Most of you may have got the phone call already so this won't come as a big deal, but for the Mr. A side of the family, there was no reason to get a call so have fun hearing about it now.

If you STILL don't know by now (and frankly, what kind of subscriber are you to not have known) Ms. A and I split up a few years ago. Since then we've dated a little but she's been primarily tethered to a woman from Louisiana - thus her blog alias is Miss LA. Clever I know, try to hold back your envy at my epithet prowess.

Last Friday, after much soul searching by Ms. A, the two decided to get married. The date is New Year's Eve of 2009 (I think, might be New Years Day 2010) and they've already started a guest list. The BGF House is all very happy for them. Ms. A spent the evening on the phone to Miss LA's parents and I was beside myself with joy because I remember having to do the same thing with her dad and it sucked. It sucked the wrought off iron. So to see her fret and shift and flit about was the high point of my day. Then Miss LA had to call Ms. A's dad and talk to him. Poor dude, this is the second time he's had to say, "Well it's ok with me, but if you do anything to her, I have guns and I'll be comin' for ya." (No kidding, he actually said something much similar to me. I think he was only 30% kidding.)

Now, this being the great state of Texas, the best thing they can hope for is a committment ceremony. Texas has a ban on gay marriage and will not recognize marriages from other states. It is sadly not singular in its policies and so the girls will have to do with a big party, a friendly minister giving them their blessings from friends and family and that's pretty much it. Oh, and a lot of booze.

The discussion of our official divorce has come up, but in light of the state's lack of recognition to same sex marriage, it's almost not worth it. We're not clinging to anything, it's more of a pragmatic approach to the situation. Divorce filings can be easy, but it impacts a lot of things we're not ready to address yet; taxes, beneficiaries, insurance. Plus, and this is the biggest thing, a divorce impacts our credit - which is shit right now anyway. Purposefully adding to the morass to me is a foolhardy gesture. It's not an excuse, it's a reality. It's a while between now and then and our plan was to shore up as much as we can on our credit, move, then possibly split. That's after I kill Count Rugan. (No? No one?)

This also doesn't affect our living arrangements. As long as my kids are in school and I'm the 2/3 majority bread winner, they will live with me. But, Ms. A takes care of them primarily as she's home during the day, so they will be with her as well. And since Miss LA and Ms. A are now engaged, they will live together. And truth be told, Ms. A is my best friend. I have other friends and acquaintances, but I've known her longer than just about anyone else. We like each other and we like each other's company. To say we HAVE to find new places to live alone just because we're not married seems archaic and counterproductive. Why get two places when you can just funnel all your resources into one home?

So, the reason for the previous post was that they had a fight Sunday and knowing Ms. A the way I do, I was fully expecting her to back out. I know her well enough to recognize the pattern and I'm frankly a bit shocked she hasn't tried to flee. It's a good sign that she's maturing and willing to both accept herself and the situation. But all is good, so that's why the hesitant post.

That's all there is to report. Carry on.

Big News

Reflections on 2008
Originally uploaded by Cheryl Rollman.

Something happened this weekend.

Stay tuned.

Reminder: Reviews Are Up

Just a quick reminder that I'm still doing recaps and reviews for Television Zombies. Fringe started this week and Star Wars: The Clone Wars has been back into its season for a few weeks now. Also coming up, I'll be doing reviews for the Joss Whedon science-action show Dollhouse (which starts February 9th.)

As always, TVZ is covering the best (and sometimes the worst) of pop and cult TV with news, reviews and weekly podcasts. Don't forget to stop by.

We're Moving!

Austin Bats
Originally uploaded by xadrian.

The BGF just got word last night that we'll be in our current abode at the Four Pines at Rollman Manor till the middle of the summer, at which point we'll be relocating. The current choices are The Single Tree Resort and Howdy Howdy Howdy Rock Garden Hotel and Casino.

On the upside, the BGF will be moving as a unit. This time we're going to try to get an extra room so that LMA and G-man have their own rooms, Ms. A and Miss LA have their own room and Your Truly and my excessively geeky trapping have our own room.

On the downside, we're moving. I don't like moving and the last time we did it I dropped a refrigerator on my leg - a hurt that still gives me problems when the cold winds blow off Lake Youraloser. But, we'll be forced to streamline, clean off detrius and unneeded materialism. Translation: We're throwing away a shit-ton of toys.

We're moving in July and were able to get a month to month lease with no raise in rent. We'll be staying in P-ville and the same school district so LMA doesn't move schools. We just need more space and while the house we're in is great and the area is great, we're just pushing saturation levels.

More to come.

Broken Yours Yet?

I didn't make any resolutions this year. I don't think I made any last year. I'm trying to make each day an improvement and to put myself under the kind of pressure as required by one day of atonement would be a debilitating mistake. It's better, in my mind, to make smaller goals that can be accomplished and that work toward a larger change than it is to pin all your self worth and motivation on to a single looming quest at the beginning of the year.

So no I didn't quit smoking.

I didn't resolve to lose more weight (though for some inexplicable reason I've lost ten pounds in a month), I didn't resolve to draw more, drink less, clean/sober/shape up, be nicer to people, be more aggressive/understanding, have more self worth and better self esteem. Nothing like that. To me 2009 will be, as sports teams like to say after a miserable season, a year of rebuilding. We have a good team and we need to give them time to play together and develop those skills.

The BGF is rumbling along as well as can be. Work is unbearable and rare for some, mind numbing but at least steady for others. Like every one else, every where else, the belts are tightening though I don't know what they'll squeeze out. The whole house has officially been sick as well. It was either Strep or a really bad case of almost Strep. G-man got it first right before NYE, and then gave it to his sister. I did my best not to get it but ended up getting it right as Ms. A and Ms. LA came back from Louisiana. Ms. LA was sick for a while. Ms. LA's sister is staying with us until UT opens again for school. We both got it and now Ms. A's got it.

The difference between when mom gets sick and anyone else gets sick is an order of magnitude. There are three (four now) adults in our house so that at any one point, the kids are being looked to, played with, scolded, feed, washed, etc. Between the lot of us, you'd think those not feeling well could take some time to rest. It doesn't happen like that. Even before the advent of the BGF, when Ms. A was sick, she didn't get down time no matter what I did to help. The only thing I could have done better was to have taken the kids to another city for three days. I don't get sick that often but when I do I'm a worthless slug and Ms. A pulls double duty. When she's sick, for whatever reason, she can't get a break to recover.

So this time, even though I was with a sore throat, I felt fine. Good enough that I didn't feel the need to couch and watch Price Is Right for a few days. I had to take off work because I was likely contageous, and one night I had a hard time sleeping, but it's nothing like when Ms. gets sick. She's out of commission for days but still feels the need to clean or do laundry. She and Ms. LA are both home today and I hope Ms. LA is there to tell her to sit down and shut up and get better. I can't while I'm at work.

Carry on.

New Year, New Things

Republic Y-Wing
Originally uploaded by xadrian.

So this is what I've been doing with my time. I had a few drawing commissions that needed to be done, but for the most part, I've been building this.

For those that don't recognize this, or think it only looks vaguely familiar, this is a Republic Y-Wing as seen in the cartoon network show Star Wars: The Clone Wars. If you recall the Y-Wings from the first movie, they were old clunkers, fighter bombers passed their prime but rebuilt over and over again by the Rebel Alliance.

What we see in The Clone Wars are the brand new Y-Wings, new to the Republic and flown by squadrons of clone pilots and at one point Anakin Skywalker. The changes from the old to new is one of style, mostly. Whereas the more recent ships are a hodge-podge of exposed engine works, reduced engine sizes and a removal of the manned turret, the original starfighter was sleek, fully paneled and the turret was manned.

This was also a side bet with a flickr contact, RocketSeason. I was already in the planning stages, having almost finished my Nebulon Ranger, and the episode of the Clone Wars with these ships had just aired. I wanted to build one so I started looking online for images. I found RocketSeason's Flickr account because he had posted a few images from the show. We' made a friendly bet to see who got done first, I figured he's kick my ass as this is my second ever MOC (my own creation.) However he ran out of the right type of pieces, which I was close to doing. I had to disassemble my Tantive IV model to get the pieces needed for the engine pylons and I went through most of my yellow pieces getting the striping right.

It's an ungainly model. The pylons were a problem to figure out how to attach to the fuselage. At first I had a whole design using rods and interior attachments but in the end it's just attached with a couple 90° arch plates and could fall apart any second. It also doesn't line up right and you can see where the pylons are pulling away. I had to keep it all as light as possible, learning lessons from my last model. But I'm very proud of how it turned out. I need to clean up some areas of the underside and the rear landing gear and the back where the fuselage fades out.

It measures 36 1/2" long and 16" wide and weighs ~4.5lbs. It's easily as big as the official LEGO UCS sets and I won't know until I take it apart, but I'd guess it's roughly 1,000-1,200 pieces. Before anyone asks, no it's too big for me to spend the time making instructions. Plus there's a lot that doesn't fit very well and I'd rather not have people know that I "cheated" a bit.

Other than that, not much going on. Most of the BGF has been in Louisiana so while I've had close to two weeks off, I've spent close to half of that by myself. Well, myself and the kids. I met an old friend from college this last weekend and it was really good to see him. We were best friends in college and did a lot of theater together, liked the same music, played basketball and just generally liked each other's company. When I moved to Texas, it was quick and I don't think a lot of people knew what happened. He was one of them. So over a couple of beers and sandwiches at Central Market while the kids played on the playground, we caught up and it was quite nice. It felt like no time had passed and at the same time I knew that he was only visiting and that the next time we'd talk it would likely be another decade. It's bittersweet, but the realities of time and distance between friends.

I hope everyone had a good holiday season. We all had a lot of time off and relaxed. There was much eating, watching TV, playing Rock Band and a bit of travel to meet family. I'm not terribly excited about 2009 either way. I've developed a very Zen attitude toward life and I will take what life gives me and either use it or ignore it. There are a few things I'm concerned about that will likely shake out in the next few months, but you can't worry about these things until they present themselves to you.

Our house is still happy and vibrant and full of life. It's as much a curse as it is a blessing. This time the girls have been away was peaceful. I was able to watch all three Lord of the Rings movies, draw a few pictures, build a LEGO ship and watch a little football and hockey. It wasn't totally fun and loneliness began creeping in late last night. It'll be good to get the rest of the family back.

I hope 2009 is good to you. The next few years are going to be interesting on every level and I dearly wish for everyone to be able to cope with the changes that are so likely to occur as to require instruction manuals.

Carry on.