Most of you may have got the phone call already so this won't come as a big deal, but for the Mr. A side of the family, there was no reason to get a call so have fun hearing about it now.
If you STILL don't know by now (and frankly, what kind of subscriber are you to not have known) Ms. A and I split up a few years ago. Since then we've dated a little but she's been primarily tethered to a woman from Louisiana - thus her blog alias is Miss LA. Clever I know, try to hold back your envy at my epithet prowess.
Last Friday, after much soul searching by Ms. A, the two decided to get married. The date is New Year's Eve of 2009 (I think, might be New Years Day 2010) and they've already started a guest list. The BGF House is all very happy for them. Ms. A spent the evening on the phone to Miss LA's parents and I was beside myself with joy because I remember having to do the same thing with her dad and it sucked. It sucked the wrought off iron. So to see her fret and shift and flit about was the high point of my day. Then Miss LA had to call Ms. A's dad and talk to him. Poor dude, this is the second time he's had to say, "Well it's ok with me, but if you do anything to her, I have guns and I'll be comin' for ya." (No kidding, he actually said something much similar to me. I think he was only 30% kidding.)
Now, this being the great state of Texas, the best thing they can hope for is a committment ceremony. Texas has a ban on gay marriage and will not recognize marriages from other states. It is sadly not singular in its policies and so the girls will have to do with a big party, a friendly minister giving them their blessings from friends and family and that's pretty much it. Oh, and a lot of booze.
The discussion of our official divorce has come up, but in light of the state's lack of recognition to same sex marriage, it's almost not worth it. We're not clinging to anything, it's more of a pragmatic approach to the situation. Divorce filings can be easy, but it impacts a lot of things we're not ready to address yet; taxes, beneficiaries, insurance. Plus, and this is the biggest thing, a divorce impacts our credit - which is shit right now anyway. Purposefully adding to the morass to me is a foolhardy gesture. It's not an excuse, it's a reality. It's a while between now and then and our plan was to shore up as much as we can on our credit, move, then possibly split. That's after I kill Count Rugan. (No? No one?)
This also doesn't affect our living arrangements. As long as my kids are in school and I'm the 2/3 majority bread winner, they will live with me. But, Ms. A takes care of them primarily as she's home during the day, so they will be with her as well. And since Miss LA and Ms. A are now engaged, they will live together. And truth be told, Ms. A is my best friend. I have other friends and acquaintances, but I've known her longer than just about anyone else. We like each other and we like each other's company. To say we HAVE to find new places to live alone just because we're not married seems archaic and counterproductive. Why get two places when you can just funnel all your resources into one home?
So, the reason for the previous post was that they had a fight Sunday and knowing Ms. A the way I do, I was fully expecting her to back out. I know her well enough to recognize the pattern and I'm frankly a bit shocked she hasn't tried to flee. It's a good sign that she's maturing and willing to both accept herself and the situation. But all is good, so that's why the hesitant post.
That's all there is to report. Carry on.
at 8:56 AM