What to do.

I really don't know what to make of this. Maybe our readers can illuminate us on the situation and it's frustrating nuiances.

LMA goes to a Montessori school. It's a great school. She has friends, the teachers are nice and I think she's excelling in the atmosphere that exists. I know saying "Montessori" sounds very upper-class and snobby, but it's really nothing to get excited about. They are just good teachers and they tend to focus on things like motivation and self-control and confidence more than just a daycare or a public school might.

Might, I don't know for sure, this is my first kid.

Well, something came up this week that's a little unsettling. This is teacher appreciation week, nationally I believe, and last week LMA's school sent home a list of things to get the teachers; things like flowers, or apples or drawings or whatever. Well, in the hectic events of normal every day life, we totally spaced it. Just flat out forgot. I think it was more my fault than Mrs. A's as I take the kids to school and pick them up most of the time. I see all the signs, get all the handouts, talk to the teachers, etc. My burden to bear.

In my defense, I can't get out of the house without forgetting something if there are more than 5 things to remember. Most of those memory slots are taken up by things like "put on your pants" and "don't forget the children" so having extra things like "diaper wipes" and "yellow folder" means that something gets pushed out. I'm only human, it just does.

Now, with that in mind, it's not LMA's fault she didn't bring anything for her teachers. Mrs. A and I really help out with her school the rest of the year as it is. We've given her class a hamster that Mrs. A feeds and tends to weekly. We bought the school a hose holder for the outside. We donated time to help shovel sand from the front into the sandboxes in the back. We stay late after events to help clean. We do a lot.

So when her teachers tease her about not bringing in a god damn flower, that's crossing the line.

I mean really, who sends home a note saying, "Go buy these things for your teachers?" Who does that? How about a note that says, "Next week is teacher appreciation week. Do your best to show your child's teacher you care by giving a gift. Some suggestions are..." That would have been fine. This was a daily thing. Monday, flowers. Tuesday, a fruit basket. Wednesday, a drawing. I mean come on. Isn't that a little weird or have things changed that much since I was a kid?

Anyway, the point is that her parents forgot, not her. If the teachers have a problem with that, they should call us. (Which still gets me, call us to complain they didn't get presents. You know, they won't get me anything for Father's Day, I know they won't.) You don't make the 3 year old child an example in front of the class. You don't make them feel bad and lower their esteme because they have a busy family that just honestly forgot.

Also, we pay tuition. It's not cheap to go to this school. We appreciate them plenty by paying them. To kick in all this extra crap just makes me so angry. I don't understand.

So now, it's Wednesday. I've got two days to figure out what these jackals need and possibly go out and buy it, just so my little girl isn't made to feel like a fuckin' lepper. But does that mean I've caved? Does that mean I've given in to their demands just because they teach my kid?

The other aspect, and I hate to use this card, but it's the only thing I have left, is her teachers are primarily from other countries originally. I can only hazzard a truly xenophobic guess that there is some kind of cultural line of communication that's being fuzzed here. I mean, LMA is in this daycare/school for 10 hours a day. I don't like it, but it should illustrate that Mommy and Daddy are really freakin' busy. We may not have time to get presents for people 5 days in a row. We may have just forgot about yet another piece of paper stapled to her lunch box. We may have not had the funds to perpetuate such an exercise. Is that something that happens elsewhere? Are teachers appreciated more around the world than they are here? I'm sure that's the case.

But don't take it out on the kid. The kid can't tie her own shoes yet or do much writing. Why make her feel bad in front of her friends?

God, I just don't know what to do. I liked her teachers before this, now I think they're petty and arrogant and aren't really there to help the kids. I'm probably wrong on that, but it doesn't make me want to be one of those helpful parents anymore. No sir.