Revenge of the Dorks

You know it had to happen. You've been waiting for it. Well it's finally here.

That's right. Dan Rather's Wednesday edition of 60 Minutes has been canceled.

Heh, gotcha.

No really. To answer your questions:

  • Yes, I will be seeing Revenge of the Sith tonight.

  • No, Mrs. Austin will not be attending.

  • Yes, I will be waiting in line for hours before hand.

  • No, I will not be dressed up like Ben Kenobi. (Never heard that one before.)

  • No, I am not a virgin who lives in his parents' basement.

I will be going tonight because I need closure. Star Wars has been an integral part of my life growing up and has really dictated what I'm doing now which is trying to tell stories. I love science fiction. I love space ships and laser blasters and odd critters. I love technology that looks old but is way beyond anything we have. I love the idea of The Force and The Jedi and The Sith. I love all these things because they are simple and easily identifiable. I don't have think to hard to appreciate Star Wars. That's not a dig, that's like complimenting Mac and Cheese for being comfort food. It serves a purpose and it serves it well.

Now, with that said, the first two movies were pretty bad. I liked them because they had some relation to the original idea. I can appreciate watching what, in my mind, happened in the past. How people came to be who they are, explanations and events that have only be alluded to by the first movies. It's like watching The Godfather movies, then watching a few other movies later that tell the story of how Don Vito came to this country and became Don. There's not much suspense because you know what will happen, but the "huh, no kidding" value is still there. I can appreciate that.

I can also appreciate the last minute heroics of fighter pilots. Man, something about a winning touchdown or a final blast from a space fighter with a crescendo of music really makes me blubbery. Don't ask, I don't know.

What I can't appreciate is the atrocious acting in these movies and the crappy lines. I don't want to dig on George Lucas because that's a popular fad among fans and disparagers alike. "He can't direct." "He can't write comfortable dialogue." "He's only out for it to get more money." Whatever. I do think he should have let someone else direct the films because, let's face it, Hayden Christiansenbergsonn can't act fer shit. Neither could Jake Lloyd. Those two could have been replaced by a garbage disposal and I'm sure the movie would have made a few more bucks.

Believe what you want. I believe certain things and one is that George has a great vision and no one since J.R.R Tolkien has had a comparable concept. No one. Think of the universe he created. Think of anything any other creator has done to mirror that. It's hard isn't it? The best I can think of is Jim Henson with The Dark Crystal. Star Wars has nothing to do with Earth or Earthlings or things we know and appreciate. You might say The Matrix was a good creation. It was, but it's based on human programmed computers. Superman, Batman, Spiderman. All good. All take place on Earth. Lord of the Rings and the Silmarillion. Also good. Takes place on Middle Earth, somehow eluding to the fact that Middle is the time and not a place. A time before modern man. A myth still based on human understanding.

So, that's what I believe, and that's why I will see this movie. I will see it because I believe in Darth Vader and R2 and Obi-Wan and Yoda and X-Wings and The Jedi and lightsabers and Star Destroyers, and I don't believe I'm being taken by a money grubbing elitist who doesn't care for the fans. He can do what he wants. If you don't support him, don't see the movie. But don't try to make me feel bad for going. I have my reasons.

May the Force be with you.

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