Arkham Asylum

So I sat down to write about how crazy it's been here the past week, how everyone is sick and tired and overworked and crabby and in serious need of a break, then I read back a few paragraphs and realized I sounded like a complete ass and I'm pretty sure no one wants to read Life In Assville.

So with my malicious diatribe behind me I can focus on things of a more banal nature; just the facts, ma'am.

Fact one: This house is bat-shit crazy. I mean it. I know my parents moved from a duplex to a house when I was about four and my brother was one. What the hell were you guys thinking? This is complete and utter, gibbering monkey, fiddling fish, insanity. So...so you know what I did to help matters? I built a fort. That's right, a fort for Lil Miss Austin. Seemed like a good idea at the time. She was sick and had to stay home so I built her a little fort with blankets and chairs. THAT WAS THREE DAYS AGO! For some reason, the fort has yet to be taken down. You know why? If I do, she'll cry until she's twelve and I can't take anymore crying. So, the fort stays up until the Mexicans come after our canon.

Fact two: This house is sold. We signed the papers today. We're officially homeless. We paid the new owners the lease money and we will close on our new house n the 20th of July and move the following weekend. No more lock box, no more sign out front, no more trying to keep the place liveable. It's moving time. The boxes have been broken out and taped up. The items that haven't been touched in a year are shivering with anticipation at being kept in a warm box in the garage for another month. My Legos are going to kill me.

Fact three: This house is one sick puppy. Just when we think we've seen the end of the Stomach Bug that Ate Cleveland, I get it. Friday night, at the movies with Mrs. Austin, I start to feel like Violet Beauregarde. Could it have been the soda and licorice combination? Surely not. I know, I'll spend 2 days in the john just to test my theory. Ah HA! Stomach Flu! Brilliant! So I walked around like a zombie for two days. Yogi cried incessantly, LMA flamed on with a week's worth of fevers and now Mrs. A's stomach is starting to cramp. I've already emailed HR explaining that there's little I can do with sick kids when daycare won't take them, luckily they're very understanding.

Fact four: This house is busy. Did I mention we're packing? And hosting a couple sick parasites disquised as children? Well, we're also drawing slowly for a convention in just over a month and staying up with tech support till 3am fixing new laptops and almost losing months of art and photos. I told Mrs. Austin that I would feel much better offloading all this hosting stuff to a company. I mean, it was cool and all when I could say, "Yeah I have my own web server." But let's face it, I did very little work to set it up, and I've done even less work to keep them running. I don't know enough to make her business run the way she wants. I don't even know enough to allow one machine to talk to the other for more than a day. Plus her laptops just aren't working. (That's right. Plural. She bought another refurb to replace the damaged one. It's a business tool, not a plaything. Unfortunately.)

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Did I mention I did away with the old entry for this one? I must have been crazy.