National Spoiler Company

With so much going on at home, we've been doing a lot of TV watching. Well, most of us. LMA is grounded for the first time for using a Bic pen to test the durability of our comforter. We've been mercifully without Lion King and Fantasia for about 4 days now.

And what has replaced it but the 2004 Olympics from Athens.

I love the Olympics. Every two years I debate whether I like the cold or warm versions better, but as the opening ceremonies wind down and the events take place I forget myself and dive headlong into mass viewing. The Winter Olympics are a little rougher on me emotionally because I tend to cry when underdogs win figure skating.

But that's not why we're here. We're here because NBC and its affiliates have done a great job bringing my affliction and me as much coverage as is humanly possible. At any time of the day I can watch sports from Athens. Now, if I wanted to watch table tennis, I'd have to tune to Bravo at 2am, but that's still ok. It's been like that for a while.

Next time around I'd like NBC or whoever has the rights to air the games to sign some sort of agreement with the rest of the American news agencies. This agreement would prohibit outlets from reporting on the results of the games until we can actually WATCH them! It's a battle between enjoying the ride home with NPR, the occasional flip over to CNN Headline News or our local News 8 Austin and not finding out who won what before the Bob Costas prime time show even starts. It's infuriating to a TV glut such as myself.

I should have known. NPR and News 8 Austin positively ruined the Tour de France for me. And they wouldn't warn me. A heads up shouldn't be out of the question. "Hey, if you don't want to feel that DVR space you used to record OLN to see Stage 16 go to waste, you might want to turn the radio off for 45 seconds." No. As soon as I turn on the TV, graphics with "Roulon wins bronze" and "Hamm wins gold" hit my receptors faster than my Catwoman-like reflexes are able to turn away.

Now, I know what I ask is impossible so I'm willing to make some lifestyle adjustments.

From now on, I will read spoiler websites 1 hour before going to see a movie. I will start reading books last chapter first. I will start my dinner with a chocolate sundae, followed by pasta and vegetables. Apparently the largest broadcasting company in the galaxy feels that good things are best left for you to find out before they happen, so I must be living my life incorrectly.

Time differences and show time perils aside, Greece is really putting on a show. The facilities look wonderful. The opening ceremonies (11 days ago) were spectacular. It's a joy to see the games with ruins behind them. I'm really worried about the judging in the games, but that's a controversy for another blog. Go ahead and look, there's got to be a googol of them. (Points if you know I didn't misspell that.)
I'm also getting a little sick of the commercials. "Hey Todd. Hey Todd!!" There's a ton of them that just make no sense. Mrs. A thinks I should go into Marketing when I go back to school because I know good commercials. Maybe she has a point.

As my first job, I'd find the McDonalds new chicken product ad team and force them to watch their failure ad nausea. "Step away from the talent!"

Best part so far was Bob Costas calling the Russian Shot-put lady a cheater-cheater-pumpkin-eater.