I have a friend named Jason. He is one of my best friends, really. He's from England (though I try not to hold that against him). We try to get together a few times a month at the very least and we can talk about everything. We talk about politics, religion, sex, movies, families, the economy, travel, real estate, boyfriends, girlfriends, strange relationships and stranger patterns of behavior. Everything. When we first met we would hang out after work in one of the many bars around the "office" where we work. Jason has had the misfortune of seeing me at my most drunk when all I want to do is either flirt with anything and everything in site (including parked cars) or pass out on a cold hard flat surface. In both instances he has always been a perfect gentleman (even that time he says I ran over his foot).
I tell you all this to illustrate what a good friend and person Jason is. Here's the thing: Jason's black.
When we go out I notice that sometimes we get looks from "those" people. You know the ones. I'm talking about the people that think a black guy and a white girl shouldn't be together. It doesn't happen much, but I've seen it. My guess is that it doesn't happen much because we as a society don't tolerate racism. Racism went out in the dark ages and is a very uncool expression of ignorance.
I have another friend. His name is Adam. Adam is also a very good friend of mine.
Adam is Jewish.
I have acquaintances that will make jokes about our friendship. They ask questions about how much he pays when we go out. They joke about whether or not he gets out a calculator when the bill comes. These acquaintances of mine are not my friends. They don't want to be my friends. You see, when they cracked their first "joke" about Adam I made it very clear that it was unacceptable.
Just like you would.
We, as civilized and polite people, don't tolerate discrimination in any form. We expect people to have evolved past this type of behavior. We even have legislation to prevent people from acting on this type of ignorance.
So let me ask you something. If we don't tolerate this type of behavior, why is it all right for people to treat "breeders" like second-class citizens? Why is it alright to not only give dirty looks to people with children in public places but then to defend others that do? Why is it all right to tell people that they shouldn't take their children into retail establishments? Why is it all right for people to tell me that I can't take my newborn into a bookstore? I can understand not wanting children in adult environments like strip clubs or movie theaters when the movie isn't a cartoon. I can understand being annoyed at the family next to you in the expensive restaurant when you are trying to have a romantic, candlelit dinner. I can understand kid friendly environments and non-kid friendly ones. I get all that. What I don't get is when I'm in a kid friendly environment (a book store where there is a children's section with - get this- TOYS) why "those people" think it is all right to wish I wasn't there. What I don't get is why "those people" think it is all right to say something about my unwanted presence there.
"These people" seem to think that segregation was a good idea. They seem to think that it should be brought back.
If I have described you, and you know in your heart if I have, I don't hate you for thinking this way, even if I say that I do after a few beers. If you don't want kids for whatever reason, that's fine with me. If you are too selfish, too self-centered, too grossed out by jelly kisses and peanut butter smeared couches that's perfectly acceptable. It is better that you think you shouldn't have kids than have them and be a bad parent. I completely respect your decision. I'll never suggest that you change your mind. I'll never even ask you to babysit. I'm down with your right to not overpopulate the world and I might even thank you for it.
All I ask is for you to respect my right to use my ovaries as I see fit and uphold my right to take my kids out into the light of day. If you can't handle seeing small human beings at your local Starbucks just keep your dirty looks and mean remarks to yourself. At least until they resegregate America. Then you can go to your Adult Only Starbucks and I'll go to my Tolerant People Only Starbucks.
Until then, I'm still going to love Jason, still going to hang out with Adam, and I will take my two beautiful children anywhere I damn well please.
Ok, now will someone help me off this soapbox?
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