Apparently it's just a foregone conclusion, KXAN will not be included on Suddenlink's basic package. That means however many dozens of thousands of subscribers in Pflugerville, Georgetown and Leander (northern suburbs or towns of Austin) will not get NBC as part of their basic cable package. Other towns served by Suddenlink have alternative affiliates that the company will provide.
Suddenlink has offered complimentary rabbit ears for those in locations with no alternate NBC affiliate, which I think is hysterical considering we're a year away from having all TV stations broadcasting in digital.
I know this all comes down to money. KXAN's parent company is having to pay more to NBC because NBC is losing money and it trickles on down to the cable provider. But I stand by my offer that Suddenlink should buck the trend, lower their overhead by dropping some ridiculously inane channels so they can at least afford the local affiliates.
Apparently a CBS affiliate will not be carried in Albuquerque either. I'm sure they're still happy they get QVC.
I don't want to drum up bad publicity for Suddenlink or KXAN, but as a previous commenter asked, "...is it worth it to lose customers and revenue by putting us, the customer in the middle of your greed?"
Carry on, smartly.
31.12.07
30.12.07
Suddenlink may lose KXAN
I recently wrote about my displeasure at a response I received from Suddenlink. I inquired when they would be offering NBC (KXAN) in HD. The initial response was a patchwork form letter - which I also posted. I replied saying that was a horrible answer and eventually Pete Abel, Vice President of Corporate Communication left a comment on the blog saying he agreed it was a bad answer and the truth was they were in negotiations with KXAN to get the HD signal.
Despite Pete Abel's reassuring words, it turns out not only are we not getting HD, we're losing the affiliate altogether. That's right, a cable company that's not carrying one of the big three network channels. KXAN ran a commercial which I just saw as well as post a message on their site saying that effective Dec. 31st, the channel will no longer be available to Suddenlink subscribers.
Suddenlink says they'll keep the channel until KXAN's parent company forces them to remove it or until an agreement can be reached.
You can read more of the story here.
Ms. A has a call in to Time Warner about them possibly offering service in our area. We haven't called back, but I'm thinking I might now. I wanted to give Suddenlink the benefit of the doubt, and according to the article they seem to think the negotiations have been amicable and they are close, but I'm losing my patience. I'd love to hear what the sticking points are on this agreement. It may end up not happening and there may be a last minute agreement. I suppose missing a few bowl games won't kill me.
But I hate settling for this nonsense. I think it's time to either lose it altogether or find a good DirectTV or satellite provider.
Carry on.
Despite Pete Abel's reassuring words, it turns out not only are we not getting HD, we're losing the affiliate altogether. That's right, a cable company that's not carrying one of the big three network channels. KXAN ran a commercial which I just saw as well as post a message on their site saying that effective Dec. 31st, the channel will no longer be available to Suddenlink subscribers.
Suddenlink says they'll keep the channel until KXAN's parent company forces them to remove it or until an agreement can be reached.
You can read more of the story here.
Ms. A has a call in to Time Warner about them possibly offering service in our area. We haven't called back, but I'm thinking I might now. I wanted to give Suddenlink the benefit of the doubt, and according to the article they seem to think the negotiations have been amicable and they are close, but I'm losing my patience. I'd love to hear what the sticking points are on this agreement. It may end up not happening and there may be a last minute agreement. I suppose missing a few bowl games won't kill me.
But I hate settling for this nonsense. I think it's time to either lose it altogether or find a good DirectTV or satellite provider.
Carry on.
ebay listing
Hey folks, I'm selling some old comic book cards. If that's something you're interested in, you can go check it out...
...here.
Thanks, happy new year.
...here.
Thanks, happy new year.
28.12.07
Year End Clearance!
Zazzle is having a 20% off all apparel sale until Jan. 7th. If you've always wanted something from the Art on Shirts line of wonderful, whimsical and whacky characters on a shirt, mug, tote bag or cap, now's your chance to get one and save 20% in the process. You lucky people, you've waited just long enough, and now it's gonna pay off.
Plus, if you're a fan of the work on the Robot Portraits or other drawings seen on Flickr, don't hesitate to contact me about commissions.
Happy New Year!
Plus, if you're a fan of the work on the Robot Portraits or other drawings seen on Flickr, don't hesitate to contact me about commissions.
Happy New Year!
22.12.07
Happy Yule!
Ms. A and I were up till about 1:30am wrapping gifts and finalizing all things for Santa. We left out the cookies and milk and gingerbread house and made sure they were up far enough so the dog wouldn't eat them.
After winding down and finally getting to sleep it was about 2:30 and we knew the kids would be up mere hours later - and they were. 'Round about 7, LMA came into our room and said she saw that Santa had come and she thought there was a pogo stick under the tree. It was actually a scooter, but "pogo stick" sure woke me up. Ms. A tried to get her to go back to sleep for a few minutes but then when G-Man started stirring we knew it was time.
So we made an orderly demolition of the living room and everyone was happy and smiling and calm. We had coffee and donuts and the kids loved all their gifts. Thank you to all the family who sent them gifts and cards and all the friends who've sent cards and holiday wishes. It was very nice.
The living room is now clean of paper and packaging but the items remain. I'm off uploading photos with my new (as in new to me) Nikon D70 and Ms. A is taking a nap. The kids are watching TV and absentmindedly turning on all the noisemaking toys. I'm pretty sure they'll need a nap soon too. Ms. A and LMA are going to Circle later this afternoon and I plan on playing the game they got for the Wii.
Our dog was probably the only one unhappy. Too many loud noises and not enough floor space to lay down.
So from the Life in Austin crew, Happy Yule, Merry Christmas and have a festive and joyous holiday.
After winding down and finally getting to sleep it was about 2:30 and we knew the kids would be up mere hours later - and they were. 'Round about 7, LMA came into our room and said she saw that Santa had come and she thought there was a pogo stick under the tree. It was actually a scooter, but "pogo stick" sure woke me up. Ms. A tried to get her to go back to sleep for a few minutes but then when G-Man started stirring we knew it was time.
So we made an orderly demolition of the living room and everyone was happy and smiling and calm. We had coffee and donuts and the kids loved all their gifts. Thank you to all the family who sent them gifts and cards and all the friends who've sent cards and holiday wishes. It was very nice.
The living room is now clean of paper and packaging but the items remain. I'm off uploading photos with my new (as in new to me) Nikon D70 and Ms. A is taking a nap. The kids are watching TV and absentmindedly turning on all the noisemaking toys. I'm pretty sure they'll need a nap soon too. Ms. A and LMA are going to Circle later this afternoon and I plan on playing the game they got for the Wii.
Our dog was probably the only one unhappy. Too many loud noises and not enough floor space to lay down.
So from the Life in Austin crew, Happy Yule, Merry Christmas and have a festive and joyous holiday.
21.12.07
Mom, Dad. Are ya proud?
 | I received 85 credits on The Sci Fi Sounds Quiz How much of a Sci-Fi geek are you? |
| Guess the Sci-Fi Movie Sounds hereCanon powershot | |
19.12.07
Cramming
My wrist hurts.
I can't tell if it's the increase in drawing or something else. My biggest fear, bodily, is losing my eyesight. Can't draw if you can't see.
The second would be losing my right hand. I just interviewed an artist who had lost the use of his drawing arm. I can't imagine what that would be like. He had taught himself to draw and paint again with his left hand. Can you even fathom that? I hear it every so often and it always floors me.
I don't know where I'm going with this, it's late. I spent a long time drawing something for someone and made the mistake of posting it on a message board. I knew I shouldn't have. I don't take critiques well so I don't look for them. I can't make the effort lately to really push myself so I just draw for myself. If it sucks, so what. But, someone did give it a rather flip critique and now I'm crestfallen and I'm sure it'll be a few days till I pick up a pencil again.
I do some times think I'd be better off just writing. Drawing takes a lot out of me but it never looks like I spend to much time on it. It's all done in a rush of adrenaline. Probably not good.
So that's why I worry about my wrist. I'm sure I'm doing damage by cramming in 3 days of drawing into 4 hours, but you take what you're given. So it's ibuprofen and off to bed. Doubtless this'll be the last post till after the holidays. I'll get pictures, no worries.
Happy Yule from Texas.
Carry on.
I can't tell if it's the increase in drawing or something else. My biggest fear, bodily, is losing my eyesight. Can't draw if you can't see.
The second would be losing my right hand. I just interviewed an artist who had lost the use of his drawing arm. I can't imagine what that would be like. He had taught himself to draw and paint again with his left hand. Can you even fathom that? I hear it every so often and it always floors me.
I don't know where I'm going with this, it's late. I spent a long time drawing something for someone and made the mistake of posting it on a message board. I knew I shouldn't have. I don't take critiques well so I don't look for them. I can't make the effort lately to really push myself so I just draw for myself. If it sucks, so what. But, someone did give it a rather flip critique and now I'm crestfallen and I'm sure it'll be a few days till I pick up a pencil again.
I do some times think I'd be better off just writing. Drawing takes a lot out of me but it never looks like I spend to much time on it. It's all done in a rush of adrenaline. Probably not good.
So that's why I worry about my wrist. I'm sure I'm doing damage by cramming in 3 days of drawing into 4 hours, but you take what you're given. So it's ibuprofen and off to bed. Doubtless this'll be the last post till after the holidays. I'll get pictures, no worries.
Happy Yule from Texas.
Carry on.
14.12.07
Mid December
Welcome to the middle of the craziest month of the year. I hope you have all your shopping done. I don't. I'm no where close. I don't know what to get people and I'm not sure I'll figure it out either.
I have 5 drawings to get done and in the mail by this weekend so there goes shopping.
Lil Miss Austin had a holiday project she had to do for school. Her family had to help her decorate a cut out tree. Ms. Austin had the stellar idea of having little pictures of the family as ornaments (or as the kids say ordamints.) It turned out well I think.
LMA doesn't always wear hats to school either, she apparently has been reading so well she's completed some reading assessment thing and the prize is you're able to wear a hat on Friday's. If you get all four done you get a snow globe. I wish they'd just have her read it all right now. The books they send home with her are almost insultingly easy.
She still cries when someone beats her at a game, so it's a give and take.
So I told a couple people at work about me and Ms. A. One was shocked but impressed that we're being so civil about it. The other knew something was going on but didn't want to say anything. But the seal is broken. These were two people I genuinely like even though I may not know them very well. They're the same age and mindset so it was easier. Plus now I don't have to worry about it.
Also, after a LONG wait, the latest episode of Awesome Storm Justice is finally out. I did the lettering for this one and I think I'm supposed to do lettering for the next few. I also want to maybe draw an episode again, but seriously, did I mention I have other things to do?
Cold weather lately. All you midwesterners stay warm.
Carry on.
I have 5 drawings to get done and in the mail by this weekend so there goes shopping.
Lil Miss Austin had a holiday project she had to do for school. Her family had to help her decorate a cut out tree. Ms. Austin had the stellar idea of having little pictures of the family as ornaments (or as the kids say ordamints.) It turned out well I think.
LMA doesn't always wear hats to school either, she apparently has been reading so well she's completed some reading assessment thing and the prize is you're able to wear a hat on Friday's. If you get all four done you get a snow globe. I wish they'd just have her read it all right now. The books they send home with her are almost insultingly easy.
She still cries when someone beats her at a game, so it's a give and take.
So I told a couple people at work about me and Ms. A. One was shocked but impressed that we're being so civil about it. The other knew something was going on but didn't want to say anything. But the seal is broken. These were two people I genuinely like even though I may not know them very well. They're the same age and mindset so it was easier. Plus now I don't have to worry about it.
Also, after a LONG wait, the latest episode of Awesome Storm Justice is finally out. I did the lettering for this one and I think I'm supposed to do lettering for the next few. I also want to maybe draw an episode again, but seriously, did I mention I have other things to do?
Cold weather lately. All you midwesterners stay warm.
Carry on.
10.12.07
Holiday Cards
Most of you fine readers will be getting a card from me soon. This is the fifth year I've done holiday cards for friends and family.
My grandpa on my mom's side did Christmas cards for a great many years, probably more than I've been alive. They were all hand done too, which is something I don't think I'll ever be able to do, especially when you consider he probably sent out 50-60 cards. I think I heard my grandmas say one time he actually starts the day after Christmas and works on them till about October.
Good lord.
This one took about an hour to draw and color. It's not my favorite but it's done. I had no idea how Prismacolor markers would take to strathmore sketchbook paper and it wasn't good. It was streaky and messy. I think I will pick up some water colors as these markers are find for somethings, but they run out quickly and don't blend very well.
Anyway, enough excuses. If you'd like to purchase a holiday card from years past, I've set them up on my Zazzle site so you can send them to your friends and family. Yes they have LMA and G-man on them, but I left them blank on the inside and you can make up your own holiday bits but customizing them on the site.
!Zazzle Card Fun Times Go!
Carry on.
My grandpa on my mom's side did Christmas cards for a great many years, probably more than I've been alive. They were all hand done too, which is something I don't think I'll ever be able to do, especially when you consider he probably sent out 50-60 cards. I think I heard my grandmas say one time he actually starts the day after Christmas and works on them till about October.
Good lord.
This one took about an hour to draw and color. It's not my favorite but it's done. I had no idea how Prismacolor markers would take to strathmore sketchbook paper and it wasn't good. It was streaky and messy. I think I will pick up some water colors as these markers are find for somethings, but they run out quickly and don't blend very well.
Anyway, enough excuses. If you'd like to purchase a holiday card from years past, I've set them up on my Zazzle site so you can send them to your friends and family. Yes they have LMA and G-man on them, but I left them blank on the inside and you can make up your own holiday bits but customizing them on the site.
!Zazzle Card Fun Times Go!
Carry on.
9.12.07
Who Are You With?
I think I'm just going to break down and create a blog dedicated to critiquing commercials. I see so many ads that make me just roll my eyes. Maybe a segment here called "Marketers Don't Get It."
I'm watching the Steelers/Patriots game and this Wachovia commercial keeps coming on. The setting is a mom and dad and son (maybe more of the family is there) and they're sharing a family dinner around a nice big table. Everyone is laughing and eating and pretty much being not a real family. Suddenly they realize that the eldest son, who is going on a vacation to some exotic locale, forgets he doesn't have his passport and it's - wait for it - in dad's safety deposit box. Dad then calls - wait again - his banker at home. The banker and her staff, according to the narrative, work through the holiday to open the bank vault before regular business hours so super-smart-offspring can get his passport before his trip.
I'm with Wachovia, says dad.
Do I really need to go into this? I mean sure if I were a dad, I'd do all I could to make sure my kid could leave on a tropical vacation instead of hang out with me over the holidays. And I don't know about you, but I have my local branch manager's home number on speed dial. And I'm positive he or she would be super happy to stop their yuletide festivities to call up her support staff and just go against bank policy and open a vault just because I needed them to.
Dude, if ANY bank did something like this for me, I'd have to make sure I kept my passport handy because I'd need it to fly back from Neverland where the Lost Boys run the financial institutions and Captain Hook is a government licensed masseuse and Wendy Lady makes cheeseburgers and Long Island Iced-Teas.
I don't know why marketers think they have to make up these nonsense stories to make their client seem benevolent. We all know this crap doesn't happen unless you live in a population starved town where you personally know the bank manager because you're married to their brother or you ARE their brother. Does anyone think this actually happens? I know you can't show the reality of banking for average Americans. You can't show how you credit debits before deposits. I know you can't show how you will charge overdraft fees to an account that has a pending deposit from a personal check that would have covered all current debits. I know you can't show how you decide to assign a limit on ATM transactions, ensuring customers will have to make two trips so they can cover their rent.
I know you can't show the REAL aspects of banking, but that leaves the unrealities and I'd rather not see how the better half lives. How about a talking bowl of cereal telling me your bank doesn't charge ATM fees. How about a grandma saying she was able to pick out a Star Trek bank card. How about a dancing pen saying they have a clean lobby and a lot of convenient locations. Make it so weird that I have no choice but to just assume the facts are correct.
The problems with these homey ads is they're so banal and sterile they are insanely unrealistic. Maybe they're just unrealistic to me. They aren't creative, they aren't doing anything but make me want to avoid this product because if the company can't tell their own ad group that they're out of touch, I don't want to deal with them.
Man, I'd hate to work at an ad firm. To think you have to abandon other ideas in favor of what we actually see would drive me to drink.
Yes I'm not doing anything important right now. Carry on.
I'm watching the Steelers/Patriots game and this Wachovia commercial keeps coming on. The setting is a mom and dad and son (maybe more of the family is there) and they're sharing a family dinner around a nice big table. Everyone is laughing and eating and pretty much being not a real family. Suddenly they realize that the eldest son, who is going on a vacation to some exotic locale, forgets he doesn't have his passport and it's - wait for it - in dad's safety deposit box. Dad then calls - wait again - his banker at home. The banker and her staff, according to the narrative, work through the holiday to open the bank vault before regular business hours so super-smart-offspring can get his passport before his trip.
I'm with Wachovia, says dad.
Do I really need to go into this? I mean sure if I were a dad, I'd do all I could to make sure my kid could leave on a tropical vacation instead of hang out with me over the holidays. And I don't know about you, but I have my local branch manager's home number on speed dial. And I'm positive he or she would be super happy to stop their yuletide festivities to call up her support staff and just go against bank policy and open a vault just because I needed them to.
Dude, if ANY bank did something like this for me, I'd have to make sure I kept my passport handy because I'd need it to fly back from Neverland where the Lost Boys run the financial institutions and Captain Hook is a government licensed masseuse and Wendy Lady makes cheeseburgers and Long Island Iced-Teas.
I don't know why marketers think they have to make up these nonsense stories to make their client seem benevolent. We all know this crap doesn't happen unless you live in a population starved town where you personally know the bank manager because you're married to their brother or you ARE their brother. Does anyone think this actually happens? I know you can't show the reality of banking for average Americans. You can't show how you credit debits before deposits. I know you can't show how you will charge overdraft fees to an account that has a pending deposit from a personal check that would have covered all current debits. I know you can't show how you decide to assign a limit on ATM transactions, ensuring customers will have to make two trips so they can cover their rent.
I know you can't show the REAL aspects of banking, but that leaves the unrealities and I'd rather not see how the better half lives. How about a talking bowl of cereal telling me your bank doesn't charge ATM fees. How about a grandma saying she was able to pick out a Star Trek bank card. How about a dancing pen saying they have a clean lobby and a lot of convenient locations. Make it so weird that I have no choice but to just assume the facts are correct.
The problems with these homey ads is they're so banal and sterile they are insanely unrealistic. Maybe they're just unrealistic to me. They aren't creative, they aren't doing anything but make me want to avoid this product because if the company can't tell their own ad group that they're out of touch, I don't want to deal with them.
Man, I'd hate to work at an ad firm. To think you have to abandon other ideas in favor of what we actually see would drive me to drink.
Yes I'm not doing anything important right now. Carry on.
6.12.07
Car Adverts
I'm driving home the other day and I stop behind a truck with the name of a dealership on the back. I know you've seen these.
It got me thinking if there were other products that you buy that have the name of the reseller on them in such a prominent location. I couldn't think of any. My Phillips TV doesn't say Best Buy on it. My Sketchers shoes don't say Target on the sole. My David Newmark home doesn't say Keller Williams on the garage door. How are dealerships able to get away with what amounts to free advertising? I'm guessing there's a law somewhere that lets them do this, but I'd sure like to hear the reason. I think after 10 years of owning a car you could go back and say you've been a rolling commercial for them and you'd like some royalties, or when you buy the car, ask for something off the top for being an advertisement or they'll have to take that placard/sticker off there. My favorite are the license plate holders, classy.
Can you tell I don't have anything to write about? I'll leave you with this nugget of horror.
Carry on.
It got me thinking if there were other products that you buy that have the name of the reseller on them in such a prominent location. I couldn't think of any. My Phillips TV doesn't say Best Buy on it. My Sketchers shoes don't say Target on the sole. My David Newmark home doesn't say Keller Williams on the garage door. How are dealerships able to get away with what amounts to free advertising? I'm guessing there's a law somewhere that lets them do this, but I'd sure like to hear the reason. I think after 10 years of owning a car you could go back and say you've been a rolling commercial for them and you'd like some royalties, or when you buy the car, ask for something off the top for being an advertisement or they'll have to take that placard/sticker off there. My favorite are the license plate holders, classy.
Can you tell I don't have anything to write about? I'll leave you with this nugget of horror.
Carry on.
4.12.07
100 Artists Project Update
I'm going to cross post from the 100 Artists blog, do forgive the impertinence.
If all falls into place, this run of the project will be complete by next week. One person has said they've mailed theirs, three more have said it's sitting on their desk just waiting to be...I don't know, signed, inked, colored, stamped. So I'm sure there will be more than 100 yet I'm not decided on whether or not to include everything I get till the end of the year or cap it at 100. I'm leaning toward the later. I'd like the first run of the book to match the name of the project, then after that we can freewheel a bit more.
To that end there are still some things needing to be done.
With the near completion of the first run, I'm already turning my thoughts to round two. The Big Mailer will be floating around for a long time, but that shouldn't stop additional projects from running. But this time it'll be wide open. I'll find small page count books, I'll have it open for digital artists (don't know how I'd do that yet) and different types of books would go to different charity funds. For example, for all past artists who have kids or who teach kids, we'll have an under 18 run and all proceeds would go toward an organization dedicated to children's health or housing or education. We could have a women artists run and proceeds go to Safe Place. A digital only art run could go toward the One Laptop per Child Foundation.
I like all these ideas, but the trick is to be able to get the word out and make sure the right amount of money is raised and more artists can participate. I don't doubt that we'll ever run out of artists, but I may run out of ways to find them, so I need your help. If you haven't already, print off the PDF and take it to your schools and coffee shops and places of business. Send submissions to major blogs and aggregation sites. Chat the idea up in forums. I've been doing this on my own for 9 months now and this is about as far as I can take it. A few folks have posted art or an entry on their sites about it and that's wonderful. If you haven't yet, it would sure help get the project some recognition.
Enough pleading.
I still need people to interview. If you're interested in doing an instant message interview that takes about 45-60 minutes, please email me and we'll set something up.
Thanks all, more to come soon.
If all falls into place, this run of the project will be complete by next week. One person has said they've mailed theirs, three more have said it's sitting on their desk just waiting to be...I don't know, signed, inked, colored, stamped. So I'm sure there will be more than 100 yet I'm not decided on whether or not to include everything I get till the end of the year or cap it at 100. I'm leaning toward the later. I'd like the first run of the book to match the name of the project, then after that we can freewheel a bit more.
To that end there are still some things needing to be done.
- I need an A3 size scanner. I can scan on the 8.5x11 scanner I have, but I don't want to clip artwork and reassembling would be a pain. Mustek offers them for $150 so if you feel like donating to the cause but are unable to draw, this would be a great way to show your appreciation for the endeavor.
- Still not sure about how to deliver the actual artwork. The poll showed more people in favor of the portfolio display binders, but again, those will only hold 96. If you have info on a better display binder that would hold 100 pieces, please contact me.
- Once all the art is scanned (see the first bullet) I'll need to set up a store front to sell the books as well. I don't know what type of books are available or what should be charged for them. I know people have offered information about some seriously top notch print-on-demand services, but I'm looking for easy.
With the near completion of the first run, I'm already turning my thoughts to round two. The Big Mailer will be floating around for a long time, but that shouldn't stop additional projects from running. But this time it'll be wide open. I'll find small page count books, I'll have it open for digital artists (don't know how I'd do that yet) and different types of books would go to different charity funds. For example, for all past artists who have kids or who teach kids, we'll have an under 18 run and all proceeds would go toward an organization dedicated to children's health or housing or education. We could have a women artists run and proceeds go to Safe Place. A digital only art run could go toward the One Laptop per Child Foundation.
I like all these ideas, but the trick is to be able to get the word out and make sure the right amount of money is raised and more artists can participate. I don't doubt that we'll ever run out of artists, but I may run out of ways to find them, so I need your help. If you haven't already, print off the PDF and take it to your schools and coffee shops and places of business. Send submissions to major blogs and aggregation sites. Chat the idea up in forums. I've been doing this on my own for 9 months now and this is about as far as I can take it. A few folks have posted art or an entry on their sites about it and that's wonderful. If you haven't yet, it would sure help get the project some recognition.
Enough pleading.
I still need people to interview. If you're interested in doing an instant message interview that takes about 45-60 minutes, please email me and we'll set something up.
Thanks all, more to come soon.
3.12.07
Holiday Spirit
What a busy weekend. First, we all drug our collective asses out of bed to get to LMA's school by 8:50 in the A of M for her "Cocoa with Santa" holiday event. Each grade participated in a music performance, then there was cookie decorating, a small gift bazaar and finally photos with Santa.
It was packed and loud and pretty typical when you think of school functions. Most parents were watching it all through a view finder or display screen.
G-man and Ms. A spent the afternoon taking a nap, and LMA even volunteered to lay down for a while on her own. I was apparently the only one who didn't take a hint and close my eyes for a while. At 5:30 we raced downtown to participate in the local annual tradition of the tree lighting where John Aielli hosts a sign along on the south lawn of the capital building. After the sing along, a tree is lit and the people are encouraged to wander around Congress Avenue and hit all the eateries and shops that have stayed open late for the event.
We spent our time rolling down a grassy hill.
Ms. A then rushed us back home because she had a shoot. The groom of a wedding she'd done last year works as a security consultant or contractor or something and hired her to do some publicity shots at Antone's for some big VIP thing.
It turns out the VIPs were David Letterman, Paul Shaffer, Ray Wylie Hubbard, Jimmie Dale Gilmore and Billy Gibbons. Off duty/retired NYPD detectives were security and Ms. A was informed that she could not take photos unless authorized to, meaning no just point and shoot of any of the famous people unless the security people okayed it. She was actually hassled as being a paparazzi even though she was being paid by the security company to do publicity shots.
At one point (and this is a third-hand story so bear with me) it was Ms. A, her security guy (guy who hired her) and Billy Gibbons hanging around a table and Gibbons had to go to the restroom so he asked this guy and Ms. A to watch over his guitar, otherwise known as Miss Pear or Miss Pearly Gates. They said of course and he asked if it was going to be in good hands, Ms. A says of course. He comes back and hands her his business card and says that if she gave him a way to contact her, she'd have a contact for life. It sounds odd typed out, and I'm sure guys of that level of fame say that and hand out cards to hundreds of people a year, but Gibbons is from Houston and I'm sure he likes coming to Austin so who knows.
The good news is, Ms. A now has a pretty good standing gig with this security company that apparently caters to some...well, shit...David Letterman people!
I'm living vicariously. Not many people you can meet drawing dead leaders as mechanical men.
We also haven't put up a tree, but we've put up lights and my nutcracker collection. We left the tree with the old house or threw it away or something, so we have to go get a new one. I'm always amazed around this time of year how much I look forward to it and how utterly frazzled and easily ticked off I get. I was outside with the lights for about 3 minutes before I became my dad (and his dad, and his dad.) And I had the easy lights too, the ones in the clear tube that sort of coil around stuff? Yeah, I'm stable.
Ms. A steers clear, she can't stand putting stuff up for this reason. It's stressful. But every year I put on a Christmas cartoon or holiday music and dream of wassail and snow and Dickens. I don't know when it'll hit me that December 25th (or 22nd, whatever) is going to be 75° and I'll probably be working and Nate King Cole won't welcome me at home with a cup of eggnog.
Carry on.
It was packed and loud and pretty typical when you think of school functions. Most parents were watching it all through a view finder or display screen.
G-man and Ms. A spent the afternoon taking a nap, and LMA even volunteered to lay down for a while on her own. I was apparently the only one who didn't take a hint and close my eyes for a while. At 5:30 we raced downtown to participate in the local annual tradition of the tree lighting where John Aielli hosts a sign along on the south lawn of the capital building. After the sing along, a tree is lit and the people are encouraged to wander around Congress Avenue and hit all the eateries and shops that have stayed open late for the event.
We spent our time rolling down a grassy hill.
Ms. A then rushed us back home because she had a shoot. The groom of a wedding she'd done last year works as a security consultant or contractor or something and hired her to do some publicity shots at Antone's for some big VIP thing.
It turns out the VIPs were David Letterman, Paul Shaffer, Ray Wylie Hubbard, Jimmie Dale Gilmore and Billy Gibbons. Off duty/retired NYPD detectives were security and Ms. A was informed that she could not take photos unless authorized to, meaning no just point and shoot of any of the famous people unless the security people okayed it. She was actually hassled as being a paparazzi even though she was being paid by the security company to do publicity shots.
At one point (and this is a third-hand story so bear with me) it was Ms. A, her security guy (guy who hired her) and Billy Gibbons hanging around a table and Gibbons had to go to the restroom so he asked this guy and Ms. A to watch over his guitar, otherwise known as Miss Pear or Miss Pearly Gates. They said of course and he asked if it was going to be in good hands, Ms. A says of course. He comes back and hands her his business card and says that if she gave him a way to contact her, she'd have a contact for life. It sounds odd typed out, and I'm sure guys of that level of fame say that and hand out cards to hundreds of people a year, but Gibbons is from Houston and I'm sure he likes coming to Austin so who knows.
The good news is, Ms. A now has a pretty good standing gig with this security company that apparently caters to some...well, shit...David Letterman people!
I'm living vicariously. Not many people you can meet drawing dead leaders as mechanical men.
We also haven't put up a tree, but we've put up lights and my nutcracker collection. We left the tree with the old house or threw it away or something, so we have to go get a new one. I'm always amazed around this time of year how much I look forward to it and how utterly frazzled and easily ticked off I get. I was outside with the lights for about 3 minutes before I became my dad (and his dad, and his dad.) And I had the easy lights too, the ones in the clear tube that sort of coil around stuff? Yeah, I'm stable.
Ms. A steers clear, she can't stand putting stuff up for this reason. It's stressful. But every year I put on a Christmas cartoon or holiday music and dream of wassail and snow and Dickens. I don't know when it'll hit me that December 25th (or 22nd, whatever) is going to be 75° and I'll probably be working and Nate King Cole won't welcome me at home with a cup of eggnog.
Carry on.
28.11.07
Just So Tired
I got my camera back today.
I went to NY and brought my camera. I brought my camera for two reasons. I wanted to get a few shots of neat stuff and maybe of my friend and her friends having a good time. I wanted to keep up with my 365 Days thing on Flickr.
The camera would not work, or at least I thought.
So I take a photo of me and a coffee cup while in Houston. I take a few shots of my friend, the subway, the view from the plane. I notice when I turn on the camera, it says something like "card cannot be used." I flip out and try to reformat the card. That works ok and I'm able to take some shots. But then I turn it off and back on and I get the same message. After I format, the card says it has no images. I'm basically frelled and figure I'll just pretend I don't have a camera.
I get home, pull the camera out and it works fine and I have about 12 pictures on it.
Mother fucker.
So of course I'm down on the stupid thing now and refuse to use it for a couple days. I start looking at new point-n-click cameras, a new battery and new cards for this one, the whole deal. I take it with me to a thanksgiving dinner and leave it there on accident. Of course my brother in law was nice enough to leave a picture of his ass on it, so now I'm afraid to even touch it again.
I overcame that skeevy feeling and finally took a 365 shot, but my heart wasn't in it. I also tried doing some drawing, but there was nothing there. I don't know why, and it's just not tonight. I need to start eating better, taking vitamins more than once a month and probably need to quit smoking. I sit all day and then come home exhausted from not doing anything and I just don't want to do anything.
But I want to write.
Seeing my friend in NY made (makes) me want to write poetry again. I tried it for a bit in college and found I wasn't too bad at it. I told Ms. A about a story idea I had and I'd love to write it as a novel. The only thing I've been doing lately is watching Farscape online and reading before bed. I've missed all the shows and movies I've wanted to see. I don't help much around the house lately. I do what I can to get the kids in bed so I can go to bed too.
I'm pretty sure it's the lack of sunlight and the cold. I'd always thought I liked the cold, but maybe it's sapping my strength. I'm warm blooded as though I were a space heater and maybe the cold just saps my energy.
Maybe I'm making excuses for being depressed.
But at least I got my camera back.
I went to NY and brought my camera. I brought my camera for two reasons. I wanted to get a few shots of neat stuff and maybe of my friend and her friends having a good time. I wanted to keep up with my 365 Days thing on Flickr.
The camera would not work, or at least I thought.
So I take a photo of me and a coffee cup while in Houston. I take a few shots of my friend, the subway, the view from the plane. I notice when I turn on the camera, it says something like "card cannot be used." I flip out and try to reformat the card. That works ok and I'm able to take some shots. But then I turn it off and back on and I get the same message. After I format, the card says it has no images. I'm basically frelled and figure I'll just pretend I don't have a camera.
I get home, pull the camera out and it works fine and I have about 12 pictures on it.
Mother fucker.
So of course I'm down on the stupid thing now and refuse to use it for a couple days. I start looking at new point-n-click cameras, a new battery and new cards for this one, the whole deal. I take it with me to a thanksgiving dinner and leave it there on accident. Of course my brother in law was nice enough to leave a picture of his ass on it, so now I'm afraid to even touch it again.
I overcame that skeevy feeling and finally took a 365 shot, but my heart wasn't in it. I also tried doing some drawing, but there was nothing there. I don't know why, and it's just not tonight. I need to start eating better, taking vitamins more than once a month and probably need to quit smoking. I sit all day and then come home exhausted from not doing anything and I just don't want to do anything.
But I want to write.
Seeing my friend in NY made (makes) me want to write poetry again. I tried it for a bit in college and found I wasn't too bad at it. I told Ms. A about a story idea I had and I'd love to write it as a novel. The only thing I've been doing lately is watching Farscape online and reading before bed. I've missed all the shows and movies I've wanted to see. I don't help much around the house lately. I do what I can to get the kids in bed so I can go to bed too.
I'm pretty sure it's the lack of sunlight and the cold. I'd always thought I liked the cold, but maybe it's sapping my strength. I'm warm blooded as though I were a space heater and maybe the cold just saps my energy.
Maybe I'm making excuses for being depressed.
But at least I got my camera back.
26.11.07
Public Opinion
The first rule of keeping a journal on the internet is knowing it's public and that anyone at any time can read it.
The second rule is not paying attention to what those people say.
Recently a site called The Advice Goddess rana small bit about how women value birthdays more than men. The author cited a post Ms. A wrote about two and a half years ago about me forgetting her birthday. It was an amusing post and actually more search results for "husband forgets birthday" hit my site than any other search, well, second only to the picture of Karl Urban I'd used for something.
So I read the post and it was harmless, just a simple query, "Why do we care so much about birthdays?" But people began reading the rest of the site and comments started to come up about Ms. A's and my relationship and the uniqueness of it. Most were fine even encouraging, and a couple were of the typical anonymous snarky variety. I believe the terms "limp wristed" and "spineless" were used.
Typically that would get me pretty steamed. I tend to get my hackles raised by such comments, but lately I just don't give two shits. I mean, who cares? I write for me and if some people think of me as weak based on just what I write here - well I feel pretty bad for them.
But of course I can't let it go at that, so I started looking at my life and wondered if I really am sort of a namby-pamby pushover with no backbone to speak of. I have to say, I don't think that's the case. I mean if we're just judging on sheer testosterone, I'm fairly certain I'm chock full of the stuff. I'm one hairy bastard and I have been known to have a bad temper. I pick causes and stick with them. I'm passionate about things that are bad in this world and equally vicious with my praise and commendations.
But if it's sheer manliness we're worried about, let's take a look at that. I've got a good jump shot. I've fired several guns including a heartstoppingly large shotgun. I know how to bar-b-que and make a slap shot. I have to shave four times a day. I know what the infield fly rule is and what it means to be down by contact. I've father two children AND I have a job to support them. I don't take medicines because I think it makes me look weak. I smoke and drink and have a love of tools. I'd rather play golf than go bowling and it doesn't take me long to take a shower.
Pretty average manly qualities I'd wager. (Wager, that's right, I can kick people's ass at poker.)
But, you know, because of this whole thing with my marriage, I can see how someone would take JUST THAT and run with it. I suppose I should maybe dress myself up a bit and talk about how when Ms. A told me this about her sexuality, I beat her up and then went and drank a case of Molson with the boys while we drove around in our El Camino smashing mailboxes. I know that may have been left out, let's just assume it happened. I probably failed to mention that I don't vote and I listen to top 40 radio and the only bit of news I know about is that Miami is still winless in 11 games. (Wait, I DO know that, huh...)
I'm sure those people have read back to my college and high school days when I was in theater and choir and wrote poetry and how I protested to bring troops home from the Gulf War and just ASSUMED I was a tree-hugging fairy...wait, I never wrote about that. Well shit. Maybe I just said I was in college and they took that as a sign of leftist elite education, you know, from my state community college years. That's probably it.
I do, I really do feel bad for those folks. I understand that what I write is public. I wouldn't put stuff out there if I didn't think that somewhere, someone might have a reaction. I'm maggoty with awareness of that fact. There are some things I won't EVER write here, some things I may not even tell my best friends. But this I thought was okay to discuss because it shows people are human and the idea of traditional anything is as archaic as loin cloths and hitting a potential mate over the head with a tree branch. I don't consider myself on the forefront of human evolution, I have the toes and forehead to prove otherwise, but I do consider myself a bit more understanding of what it is to be human and how best to interact with my circle of humans.
I didn't write asking for help, I didn't write it here first and THEN talk to my family and friends. Everyone knew what was going on well before that and in some cases before I even said anything. It's not about manliness, it's not about having a backbone. It's about respect. What happened was unfortunate, sad, heartbreaking and traumatic. Making a big stink about it and covering my ears and screaming LA LA LA LA LA, doesn't make it go away, and it doesn't make it better. Running away doesn't make it better. Ignoring it doesn't make it better. What we're doing was done after months of working out the best solution to the issue. I spoke my mind and I got some results that I'm happy with.
Manliness is looking out for your kids, keeping track of yourself and not letting anyone give you any bullshit along the way. Manliness is owning up to your problems and solving them without violence or harsh and ultimately meaningless words. Manliness is getting up every day and doing your job and then coming home and having time to play with your kids, fixing electrical problems around the house, killing scary bugs. Then you have some booze and a smoke, read a book with lasers or fighter planes and go to bed.
Manliness is not anonymously berating someone from the security of your ISP.
Carry on, men.
The second rule is not paying attention to what those people say.
Recently a site called The Advice Goddess rana small bit about how women value birthdays more than men. The author cited a post Ms. A wrote about two and a half years ago about me forgetting her birthday. It was an amusing post and actually more search results for "husband forgets birthday" hit my site than any other search, well, second only to the picture of Karl Urban I'd used for something.
So I read the post and it was harmless, just a simple query, "Why do we care so much about birthdays?" But people began reading the rest of the site and comments started to come up about Ms. A's and my relationship and the uniqueness of it. Most were fine even encouraging, and a couple were of the typical anonymous snarky variety. I believe the terms "limp wristed" and "spineless" were used.
Typically that would get me pretty steamed. I tend to get my hackles raised by such comments, but lately I just don't give two shits. I mean, who cares? I write for me and if some people think of me as weak based on just what I write here - well I feel pretty bad for them.
But of course I can't let it go at that, so I started looking at my life and wondered if I really am sort of a namby-pamby pushover with no backbone to speak of. I have to say, I don't think that's the case. I mean if we're just judging on sheer testosterone, I'm fairly certain I'm chock full of the stuff. I'm one hairy bastard and I have been known to have a bad temper. I pick causes and stick with them. I'm passionate about things that are bad in this world and equally vicious with my praise and commendations.
But if it's sheer manliness we're worried about, let's take a look at that. I've got a good jump shot. I've fired several guns including a heartstoppingly large shotgun. I know how to bar-b-que and make a slap shot. I have to shave four times a day. I know what the infield fly rule is and what it means to be down by contact. I've father two children AND I have a job to support them. I don't take medicines because I think it makes me look weak. I smoke and drink and have a love of tools. I'd rather play golf than go bowling and it doesn't take me long to take a shower.
Pretty average manly qualities I'd wager. (Wager, that's right, I can kick people's ass at poker.)
But, you know, because of this whole thing with my marriage, I can see how someone would take JUST THAT and run with it. I suppose I should maybe dress myself up a bit and talk about how when Ms. A told me this about her sexuality, I beat her up and then went and drank a case of Molson with the boys while we drove around in our El Camino smashing mailboxes. I know that may have been left out, let's just assume it happened. I probably failed to mention that I don't vote and I listen to top 40 radio and the only bit of news I know about is that Miami is still winless in 11 games. (Wait, I DO know that, huh...)
I'm sure those people have read back to my college and high school days when I was in theater and choir and wrote poetry and how I protested to bring troops home from the Gulf War and just ASSUMED I was a tree-hugging fairy...wait, I never wrote about that. Well shit. Maybe I just said I was in college and they took that as a sign of leftist elite education, you know, from my state community college years. That's probably it.
I do, I really do feel bad for those folks. I understand that what I write is public. I wouldn't put stuff out there if I didn't think that somewhere, someone might have a reaction. I'm maggoty with awareness of that fact. There are some things I won't EVER write here, some things I may not even tell my best friends. But this I thought was okay to discuss because it shows people are human and the idea of traditional anything is as archaic as loin cloths and hitting a potential mate over the head with a tree branch. I don't consider myself on the forefront of human evolution, I have the toes and forehead to prove otherwise, but I do consider myself a bit more understanding of what it is to be human and how best to interact with my circle of humans.
I didn't write asking for help, I didn't write it here first and THEN talk to my family and friends. Everyone knew what was going on well before that and in some cases before I even said anything. It's not about manliness, it's not about having a backbone. It's about respect. What happened was unfortunate, sad, heartbreaking and traumatic. Making a big stink about it and covering my ears and screaming LA LA LA LA LA, doesn't make it go away, and it doesn't make it better. Running away doesn't make it better. Ignoring it doesn't make it better. What we're doing was done after months of working out the best solution to the issue. I spoke my mind and I got some results that I'm happy with.
Manliness is looking out for your kids, keeping track of yourself and not letting anyone give you any bullshit along the way. Manliness is owning up to your problems and solving them without violence or harsh and ultimately meaningless words. Manliness is getting up every day and doing your job and then coming home and having time to play with your kids, fixing electrical problems around the house, killing scary bugs. Then you have some booze and a smoke, read a book with lasers or fighter planes and go to bed.
Manliness is not anonymously berating someone from the security of your ISP.
Carry on, men.
25.11.07
Normal
Here, have a regular blog post. No no, it's on the house.
The family went and saw Bee Movie. It was cute, but it felt like it was trying too hard. There were a lot of funny bits, I will give it that. My favorite part, hands down, was when the main character was flying through the cab of a truck and you hear the radio say, "From NPR News in Washington, I'm Carl Castle." I'm a giant nerd for laughing at that, but it was the best bit. I think Carl must have lost a bet.
I just finished reading Larry Niven's Ringworld. I'm on this classics kick and will probably try to find more sci-fi or fiction done in the middle of the 20th century. You know the books, the ones everyone is trying to get you to read. I blew through Forever War and it was sort of entertaining but not what people had made it out to be. Ringworld left me equally as lukewarm. I don't know if it was level of intellect or the time in my life, but I just couldn't seem to wrap my brain around the plot, or if there was one. It was like reading a bad dream, the narrative was all over the place and when people slowed down to talk it was in this technobabble exposition, as though the reader needed a degree in quantum mathematics just to grasp the basics of the story.
There was a bit in the book where the main characters travel by transporters, basically. I forget their name. Think of a phone booth that zaps you to another location. Later on an alien homeworld, they find similar modes of transportation, but no booths, just open platforms. This allowed them to basically run several hundred miles in a short time, but they missed seeing this wonderful alien world. The whole book was like this scene, it moved really fast, across ridiculous, almost unbelievable distances, but you never felt like you were seeing anything. Scene after scene I was left thinking there would be more, but it just moved on. They were in a storm, then suddenly in a floating castle, then suddenly someone was dead, then not dead, then they were being attacked.
I hate to say this about a classic, Hugo Award winning book, but it was just shit-ass writing. If I'd have writing like this in college I'd have failed. If I wrote a story like this now, it wouldn't sell. The concept was tenuous, the alien/human interactions were forced, and the scope of their travels was just stupid in its immenseness. I can't honestly recommend this book to anyone. The idea itself was interesting, but the execution was horribly amateur.
If anyone has suggestions on other classic science fiction, I'll take a shot at it.
So now I'm doing a shirt design for my mom, flushmount for Cheryl, holiday cards to mail out and I have to hire someone to stand behind me and kick my ass to get some lettering done for a couple people. Oh and the annual Penciljack holiday art swap is going on, plus I have to get my drawing done for th 100 Artists Project.
Good thing I'm super motivated to do fuck-all.
So I'm doing flushmounts and watching football and I see a commercial where a guy tricks his wife into thinking he missed picking up their son from practice. She comes outside and they're standing there with a new car, you know, with a fucking bow on top.
I hate those commercials. Has anyone got a car for Christmas? Does anyone know where to find giant bows? My guess is you get them at car lots. "Merry Christmas, honey. I got you a $400 a month payment for the next five years. Ho ho ho!" I'm sure if you tried that in real life, the honest reaction would be, "Oh jeez that's nice baby, but I hate those cars."
I'm all kinds of black coffee bitter today.
Carry on.
The family went and saw Bee Movie. It was cute, but it felt like it was trying too hard. There were a lot of funny bits, I will give it that. My favorite part, hands down, was when the main character was flying through the cab of a truck and you hear the radio say, "From NPR News in Washington, I'm Carl Castle." I'm a giant nerd for laughing at that, but it was the best bit. I think Carl must have lost a bet.
I just finished reading Larry Niven's Ringworld. I'm on this classics kick and will probably try to find more sci-fi or fiction done in the middle of the 20th century. You know the books, the ones everyone is trying to get you to read. I blew through Forever War and it was sort of entertaining but not what people had made it out to be. Ringworld left me equally as lukewarm. I don't know if it was level of intellect or the time in my life, but I just couldn't seem to wrap my brain around the plot, or if there was one. It was like reading a bad dream, the narrative was all over the place and when people slowed down to talk it was in this technobabble exposition, as though the reader needed a degree in quantum mathematics just to grasp the basics of the story.
There was a bit in the book where the main characters travel by transporters, basically. I forget their name. Think of a phone booth that zaps you to another location. Later on an alien homeworld, they find similar modes of transportation, but no booths, just open platforms. This allowed them to basically run several hundred miles in a short time, but they missed seeing this wonderful alien world. The whole book was like this scene, it moved really fast, across ridiculous, almost unbelievable distances, but you never felt like you were seeing anything. Scene after scene I was left thinking there would be more, but it just moved on. They were in a storm, then suddenly in a floating castle, then suddenly someone was dead, then not dead, then they were being attacked.
I hate to say this about a classic, Hugo Award winning book, but it was just shit-ass writing. If I'd have writing like this in college I'd have failed. If I wrote a story like this now, it wouldn't sell. The concept was tenuous, the alien/human interactions were forced, and the scope of their travels was just stupid in its immenseness. I can't honestly recommend this book to anyone. The idea itself was interesting, but the execution was horribly amateur.
If anyone has suggestions on other classic science fiction, I'll take a shot at it.
So now I'm doing a shirt design for my mom, flushmount for Cheryl, holiday cards to mail out and I have to hire someone to stand behind me and kick my ass to get some lettering done for a couple people. Oh and the annual Penciljack holiday art swap is going on, plus I have to get my drawing done for th 100 Artists Project.
Good thing I'm super motivated to do fuck-all.
So I'm doing flushmounts and watching football and I see a commercial where a guy tricks his wife into thinking he missed picking up their son from practice. She comes outside and they're standing there with a new car, you know, with a fucking bow on top.
I hate those commercials. Has anyone got a car for Christmas? Does anyone know where to find giant bows? My guess is you get them at car lots. "Merry Christmas, honey. I got you a $400 a month payment for the next five years. Ho ho ho!" I'm sure if you tried that in real life, the honest reaction would be, "Oh jeez that's nice baby, but I hate those cars."
I'm all kinds of black coffee bitter today.
Carry on.
22.11.07
Happy Thanksgiving
I am thankful for my little girl's amazing mind, quick wit, glorious gap-toothed smile and her love of reading.
I'm thankful my son is happy and loving and sweet and crazy as bat in a belfry that's on fire.
I'm thankful Ms. A is happy and has finally found a reason to accept who she is. I'm thankful we're still friends.
I'm grateful for all the times our families have helped us in the past year. Grateful for all the support they continue to offer and for all the open mindedness.
I'm grateful for being employed and having opportunities. I know that at any time that could end and things could get so much worse.
I'm thankful for the friends I have, online and off. For those readers who visit the site regularly and have to put up with the most random of subjects and the most depressing of expressions. For those fellow artists who've inspired me, who I've borrowed from and who have wanted to work together.
I'm thankful I don't take a bucketful of meds to keep me sane and healthy. Even though my joints hurt and I've been trying to lose weight for years, I'm grateful I'm mobile and still able to make a jump shot and kick a ball and run a few yards.
I'm grateful for whatever deity gave me the ability to turn muse into art.
I'm thankful things are changing and people are becoming happier, we all deserve better most of the time and it's good to see karma swinging back to the benevolent and selfless.
What are you thankful for?
I'm thankful my son is happy and loving and sweet and crazy as bat in a belfry that's on fire.
I'm thankful Ms. A is happy and has finally found a reason to accept who she is. I'm thankful we're still friends.
I'm grateful for all the times our families have helped us in the past year. Grateful for all the support they continue to offer and for all the open mindedness.
I'm grateful for being employed and having opportunities. I know that at any time that could end and things could get so much worse.
I'm thankful for the friends I have, online and off. For those readers who visit the site regularly and have to put up with the most random of subjects and the most depressing of expressions. For those fellow artists who've inspired me, who I've borrowed from and who have wanted to work together.
I'm thankful I don't take a bucketful of meds to keep me sane and healthy. Even though my joints hurt and I've been trying to lose weight for years, I'm grateful I'm mobile and still able to make a jump shot and kick a ball and run a few yards.
I'm grateful for whatever deity gave me the ability to turn muse into art.
I'm thankful things are changing and people are becoming happier, we all deserve better most of the time and it's good to see karma swinging back to the benevolent and selfless.
What are you thankful for?
20.11.07
Back from NY
New York was cold. But it was a cold that constantly threatened to warm up at any second. The clouds moved fast and never lingered long enough to do anything but produce a substance my friend called "snain." If you new the right places, if you knew the right people, the city and the weather would cease to chill and it would open like a well heated subway car.
I don't necessarily like seeing touristy sites. I'd rather go to a place to live as the natives. There's a reason places are popular, and most times it's not because of a statue or building or garden or event center. Popular places have all those, but there's something else that makes Los Angeles or Paris or London or Tokyo or New York destinations as they are. People wouldn't flock to these places in millions because of a statue. I never want to be a tourist, tourists are people that need help moving from block to block. Tourists pay $9 for a $2 beer. Tourists sleep in biologically and culturally sterilized environments and move around in a bubble in which the only way to see is through a lens-finder.
I didn't want to be that, I wanted to just be. I wanted to hang out as though I was just meeting up and not coming in to visit. And I got that. The majority of my time was spent on trains and in pubs. And not pubs like we have here that are run by weathered punks and hot college girls paying for their premed courses. These pubs are run by and patronized by Irish. The neighborhood my friend lives in is an Irish heavy area and it was wonderful to me. You can keep all the glitz and pageantry and chaos of Times Square, I'd be happy living in Sunnyside Village, drinking Magners (no ice, heathens) and weathering the NY winters in a small apartment with wood floors. It's the same feeling I get going anywhere, I don't want to SEE the place, I want to BE IN the place, as though it were my own. And that's probably why it's hard to leave at the end.
But that's not why I went to New York.
I went to New York to visit a friend. I've never written about this friend because there was such a distance and such a time dilation that it made my eyes fill with cobwebs just thinking about it, even if my heart and stomach traded places. This was a friend who I'd shared a tumultuous few years with in Colorado when I was in college. The details, while good for a few chapters of a dime-store novel, are not important. What's important is that I've always had these feelings and these memories. This girl was always my missed opportunity, my if I had another chance. My trip to New York was to see if there was anything left in the tank worth setting a match to.
I'd sent this friend an email a few months back detailing my current life and what a train wreck it had been. I also decided it was a good time to share some additional facts about my emotional state as it pertained to her. I had already opened the floodgates with the separation info, what would it hurt to also let her know that she was still important to me and I'd always kept that small chance alive in case anything ever happened.
Well guess what, something did happen.
So I didn't go to see Ellis Island or Ground Zero or Rockefeller Center or 42nd Street. I didn't go to get away and relax. I didn't go because I needed to find myself. I went to find out what happens when your "if ever" chance came along. Sadly I still don't know. I apologize to all those who I told I was going so I could get away from Austin for a few days and just relax.
I think I even have to apologize to this friend.
This friend invited me to visit after reading my 20 gut pile up of an email, but we did little in the way of talking about anything once I was there. I can't blame her. After so long I dump on her with a galactic ton of emotional detritus and looking back I can't exactly fault her for not having a lens with which to focus on the revelation. Her life, and I will never do it justice with simple phrasing, has been a singularity of violence, abandonment, debauchery and disdain. The last day of my trip she gave me a letter she'd written in response to mine.
I'm glad she didn't give it to me on Friday, but I wish it had a better answer. The answer wasn't, "Go away" or "What are you kidding?" or "I'll call the cops!" and I'm not stupid enough to think that it was leaving any kind of door open. I'm left with an unsure feeling stronger than when I left. Before it was just pie in the sky imagination, with lack of a strong discussion and consensus it hasn't moved much passed that, but now I'm reminded of why I had such a soul upheaval the last time we were near each other.
I didn't want to be a black cloud because it was a weekend a lot of her friends had plans as well so I did my best to not be a hindrance. It was awkward and for nearly 72 hours I held back and held my tongue and when I just couldn't anymore, well...fuck, I don't know. All I have are clichéd words to describe it and I know none of them will work. And knowing I'm talking about a poet, I don't want to use words that seem like I'm trying too hard.
Ironically, I think the gist of the letter was, "I like you as a friend." There was more to it and reasons behind it and I think that's why I'm still swirling is because I'm thick and apparently impervious to poetry. She says she's a broken person and I wanted to scream that I already knew that and it didn't matter, but I never would belittle someone's looking glass. So I said thank you and went to drink more.
Reading that letter was the only time anything I wanted to talk about came up the entire weekend. No one to blame but myself, I went out there saying I had no expectations when inside I had a list of check boxes the length of highway. And it was completely selfish, but right now I can't think of anything else. I can't think of my job, my kids, my art (laughable) my friends. This is about me and my happiness and it's been too damn long since I did that. It's probably really out of character, but there it is. I can't unthink these things, it's who I am and what my brain does. I've always wanted to be close to this person and in a lot of ways very sad I couldn't.
And it's not because I moved to Texas, she was long out of my reach before that. But things have changed since then for both of us, and yet I don't know if they've chanced too much.
...
This is probably more than any one person would want to hear about any vacation, but you know what, it's better than making up a story about why I can't focus at work or why I don't feel like drawing.
Plus, my camera busted and I have no pictures of the trip. Probably best I didn't.
Carry on.
I don't necessarily like seeing touristy sites. I'd rather go to a place to live as the natives. There's a reason places are popular, and most times it's not because of a statue or building or garden or event center. Popular places have all those, but there's something else that makes Los Angeles or Paris or London or Tokyo or New York destinations as they are. People wouldn't flock to these places in millions because of a statue. I never want to be a tourist, tourists are people that need help moving from block to block. Tourists pay $9 for a $2 beer. Tourists sleep in biologically and culturally sterilized environments and move around in a bubble in which the only way to see is through a lens-finder.
I didn't want to be that, I wanted to just be. I wanted to hang out as though I was just meeting up and not coming in to visit. And I got that. The majority of my time was spent on trains and in pubs. And not pubs like we have here that are run by weathered punks and hot college girls paying for their premed courses. These pubs are run by and patronized by Irish. The neighborhood my friend lives in is an Irish heavy area and it was wonderful to me. You can keep all the glitz and pageantry and chaos of Times Square, I'd be happy living in Sunnyside Village, drinking Magners (no ice, heathens) and weathering the NY winters in a small apartment with wood floors. It's the same feeling I get going anywhere, I don't want to SEE the place, I want to BE IN the place, as though it were my own. And that's probably why it's hard to leave at the end.
But that's not why I went to New York.
I went to New York to visit a friend. I've never written about this friend because there was such a distance and such a time dilation that it made my eyes fill with cobwebs just thinking about it, even if my heart and stomach traded places. This was a friend who I'd shared a tumultuous few years with in Colorado when I was in college. The details, while good for a few chapters of a dime-store novel, are not important. What's important is that I've always had these feelings and these memories. This girl was always my missed opportunity, my if I had another chance. My trip to New York was to see if there was anything left in the tank worth setting a match to.
I'd sent this friend an email a few months back detailing my current life and what a train wreck it had been. I also decided it was a good time to share some additional facts about my emotional state as it pertained to her. I had already opened the floodgates with the separation info, what would it hurt to also let her know that she was still important to me and I'd always kept that small chance alive in case anything ever happened.
Well guess what, something did happen.
So I didn't go to see Ellis Island or Ground Zero or Rockefeller Center or 42nd Street. I didn't go to get away and relax. I didn't go because I needed to find myself. I went to find out what happens when your "if ever" chance came along. Sadly I still don't know. I apologize to all those who I told I was going so I could get away from Austin for a few days and just relax.
I think I even have to apologize to this friend.
This friend invited me to visit after reading my 20 gut pile up of an email, but we did little in the way of talking about anything once I was there. I can't blame her. After so long I dump on her with a galactic ton of emotional detritus and looking back I can't exactly fault her for not having a lens with which to focus on the revelation. Her life, and I will never do it justice with simple phrasing, has been a singularity of violence, abandonment, debauchery and disdain. The last day of my trip she gave me a letter she'd written in response to mine.
I'm glad she didn't give it to me on Friday, but I wish it had a better answer. The answer wasn't, "Go away" or "What are you kidding?" or "I'll call the cops!" and I'm not stupid enough to think that it was leaving any kind of door open. I'm left with an unsure feeling stronger than when I left. Before it was just pie in the sky imagination, with lack of a strong discussion and consensus it hasn't moved much passed that, but now I'm reminded of why I had such a soul upheaval the last time we were near each other.
I didn't want to be a black cloud because it was a weekend a lot of her friends had plans as well so I did my best to not be a hindrance. It was awkward and for nearly 72 hours I held back and held my tongue and when I just couldn't anymore, well...fuck, I don't know. All I have are clichéd words to describe it and I know none of them will work. And knowing I'm talking about a poet, I don't want to use words that seem like I'm trying too hard.
Ironically, I think the gist of the letter was, "I like you as a friend." There was more to it and reasons behind it and I think that's why I'm still swirling is because I'm thick and apparently impervious to poetry. She says she's a broken person and I wanted to scream that I already knew that and it didn't matter, but I never would belittle someone's looking glass. So I said thank you and went to drink more.
Reading that letter was the only time anything I wanted to talk about came up the entire weekend. No one to blame but myself, I went out there saying I had no expectations when inside I had a list of check boxes the length of highway. And it was completely selfish, but right now I can't think of anything else. I can't think of my job, my kids, my art (laughable) my friends. This is about me and my happiness and it's been too damn long since I did that. It's probably really out of character, but there it is. I can't unthink these things, it's who I am and what my brain does. I've always wanted to be close to this person and in a lot of ways very sad I couldn't.
And it's not because I moved to Texas, she was long out of my reach before that. But things have changed since then for both of us, and yet I don't know if they've chanced too much.
...
This is probably more than any one person would want to hear about any vacation, but you know what, it's better than making up a story about why I can't focus at work or why I don't feel like drawing.
Plus, my camera busted and I have no pictures of the trip. Probably best I didn't.
Carry on.
9.11.07
Response to Suddenlink
Anonymous commenting notwithstanding, here was my response to Suddenlink.
I only know enough about cable programming to know that I need to research it more. I know that deregulation hasn't worked as expected, it hasn't promoted competition and it hasn't kept media giants from creating monopolies and it seems that a new bill is introduced each year to address a lot of these nearly 12 year old issues.
That's not to say you don't have a choice. You can not watch TV (probably the best choice) or you can get a satellite dish which basically gives you the exact same channels as cable, or 150 channels you don't watch. For around $70 a month, I end up watching reruns of sitcoms, kids shows and network TV. I don't have any premium channels or sports packages. I watch hockey when it's on and football. I don't know what Ms. A watches other than The Office and Scrubs and Grey's Anatomy.
I'd be willing to drop all the channels they offered, pay the same price, but only get 20 stations, if it meant I could pick. I can understand their position, they have to offer slots for all channels, but they can only carry them if it's marginally profitable to them, which seems like a Catch 22. But here's my eternal question: Is anyone watching the BYU channel? How many more people are watching Fine Living than NBC? Does the Style network really have more viewers than Comedy Central?
But it's all about politics. Even with the Family and Consumer Choice Act proposal, it's less about what consumers want and what nanny-state organizations don't want people to see. The PTC wants a la carte, not because they think paying for Oxygen network is a waste of money, but because they don't want to see Janet Jackson's nipples. Smaller channels are worried that a la carte programming will drive advertisers and subscribers away, to which I say, if no one wants your product, the market has spoken.
It can't be easy to regulate decency and deliverable media. I don't envy the job lawmakers have. I also don't really have a position either way on even if it should be regulated. How much do we need the FCC to be involved? Is this a state or federal issue? If I don't mind the implied violence on Law & Order, does that mean you have to watch it? If you are opposed to it, does it mean I can't? Television is an odd animal. It was easy when all you had to do was buy the set, now you pay for programming but you end up getting more than you wanted and in some cases you pay a lot for it but still don't get what you want. Imagine going to the grocery store and buying $1000 worth of groceries of which you'll only use 10% and they may not have any eggs or milk. Imagine going to buy a DVD of a classic movie and paying $200 to get maybe the first hour of it, but also 10 more movies written by the same people that you may or may not like. Imagine going to a restaurant and paying $500 up front for a dinner in which they bring you enough food you could eat for a month but you couldn't take any of it home with you and they don't have any water to drink.
There are undoubtedly bigger things to worry about, which makes topics like this seem so shallow. I can't understand why offering people what they want is a big deal while on the other side of the wire someone is trying to make a living creating content and they feel like they aren't getting a fare shake in the market place. But just because your product is offered, doesn't mean it HAS to be included with the product I ACTUALLY want.
Does it?
Thank you for the information. I realize deregulation may cause some
needed discussions about what channels you have to carry versus what
channels customers actually want. I don't know how that applies to HD
versions of network channels if the affiliate is actually offering it.
If you send anything to the marketing department, send this: I'd
gladly drop half of the channels offered just to be able to watch
Heroes in HD. If anyone within your company has any power to push the
idea of a la carte programming, I'd be much happier, as I'm sure would
a lot of people.
Also, just a tip from someone who used to work in cable customer
service, next time you cut and paste pre written responses, at least
change the font so they all look the same. The answer I got looks
like it was written by a committee.
Thanks again for the info and I look forward to a continued successful
relationship.
I only know enough about cable programming to know that I need to research it more. I know that deregulation hasn't worked as expected, it hasn't promoted competition and it hasn't kept media giants from creating monopolies and it seems that a new bill is introduced each year to address a lot of these nearly 12 year old issues.
That's not to say you don't have a choice. You can not watch TV (probably the best choice) or you can get a satellite dish which basically gives you the exact same channels as cable, or 150 channels you don't watch. For around $70 a month, I end up watching reruns of sitcoms, kids shows and network TV. I don't have any premium channels or sports packages. I watch hockey when it's on and football. I don't know what Ms. A watches other than The Office and Scrubs and Grey's Anatomy.
I'd be willing to drop all the channels they offered, pay the same price, but only get 20 stations, if it meant I could pick. I can understand their position, they have to offer slots for all channels, but they can only carry them if it's marginally profitable to them, which seems like a Catch 22. But here's my eternal question: Is anyone watching the BYU channel? How many more people are watching Fine Living than NBC? Does the Style network really have more viewers than Comedy Central?
But it's all about politics. Even with the Family and Consumer Choice Act proposal, it's less about what consumers want and what nanny-state organizations don't want people to see. The PTC wants a la carte, not because they think paying for Oxygen network is a waste of money, but because they don't want to see Janet Jackson's nipples. Smaller channels are worried that a la carte programming will drive advertisers and subscribers away, to which I say, if no one wants your product, the market has spoken.
It can't be easy to regulate decency and deliverable media. I don't envy the job lawmakers have. I also don't really have a position either way on even if it should be regulated. How much do we need the FCC to be involved? Is this a state or federal issue? If I don't mind the implied violence on Law & Order, does that mean you have to watch it? If you are opposed to it, does it mean I can't? Television is an odd animal. It was easy when all you had to do was buy the set, now you pay for programming but you end up getting more than you wanted and in some cases you pay a lot for it but still don't get what you want. Imagine going to the grocery store and buying $1000 worth of groceries of which you'll only use 10% and they may not have any eggs or milk. Imagine going to buy a DVD of a classic movie and paying $200 to get maybe the first hour of it, but also 10 more movies written by the same people that you may or may not like. Imagine going to a restaurant and paying $500 up front for a dinner in which they bring you enough food you could eat for a month but you couldn't take any of it home with you and they don't have any water to drink.
There are undoubtedly bigger things to worry about, which makes topics like this seem so shallow. I can't understand why offering people what they want is a big deal while on the other side of the wire someone is trying to make a living creating content and they feel like they aren't getting a fare shake in the market place. But just because your product is offered, doesn't mean it HAS to be included with the product I ACTUALLY want.
Does it?
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