Made it so!

By now most of you already know.  Tiger Lily and I are engaged to be wed.


I'm actually a bit stuck for words.

For those not following very closely, here's a quick run down.

In 2007, my now ex-wife and I split up.  She came back out of the closet and I was okay with it.  No harm.  It was difficult at first but in the end we stayed friends and roommates to raise our kids.  Her new girlfriend moved in and we got to know her family.  Among them was her younger sister, Tiger Lily (not her real name obviously.)  She was visiting Austin to get a look at the University of Texas.  She is several years younger than me, but something sparked between us and both of us were smitten.

It was rough at first.  Her family wasn't happy about it.  We tried keeping it from them for a long time, but eventually they knew and you can probably read back through the history of this blog to see for yourself.  (Although I may have deleted them, it was bad.)  Still, we persevered, knowing somehow that it would some day be worth the trauma.  And I'm glad to say it has.

I'm not entirely convinced her family totally approves, nor my family for that matter.  But we've come to realize that it's our life to lead and that there will always be unhappy or unsympathetic parties involved.  I can't change their minds and I don't want to.  It's their prerogative and I'm sure those who aren't happy for us are that way for their own perfectly acceptable reasons.  I just hope that in the end they at least respect our choice and let us move forward.

But all is not dystopian plains of remorse.  For the most part, everyone was pleased at the news and none more so than TL and me.  We have a lot to plan and thankfully a long time to plan it.  It's always been our choice that she finish her education no matter what.  This union we've agreed upon does not change the things we've planned to do.  To that end, the date we have in mind will likely be in 2014 when she's done with her masters degree.  After that she'll be going right back into it for her doctorate.  At that time, I may decide to move or I may not.  So far the long distance thing has been going great.  Not perfect, and the snuggling is clearly missing, but thanks to technology, it's not as bad as it could be.

For the actually joining, we're still deciding what to do.  Her parents would like a Catholic ceremony, but we're not practicing Catholics.  I'm sure both families would like a ceremony of some sort.  We had a plan of just getting the JP certificate and then having a big nerd party, but there's likely going to be some compromises and some changes before then.  Either way, we want it to reflect who we are above any traditional trappings.  Yes Star Wars, Lego, Lord of the Rings and Star Trek will all be a part of it, and probably more.  Because, well, we're nerds.  And we like that.

So there's that.  Thanks for listening.  I know ABC hasn't replied to my request to develop a story about my life.  Modern Family is pretty close, but I think them casting me with Ed O'Neill is a little hurtful.  I'm not THAT old.

Am I?

Carry on.


Liza said...

Congrats Ben and TL! That's fantastic news! :)

Meredith said...

I'm so happy for you two!