27.10.08

Horse Before the Cart


A wholesome trottin' race
Originally uploaded by xadrian.
So hey...been a while since I wrote anything. So how about some family news.

This won't come as a shock to the family and you all probably know. Last weekend, Ms. A's SO moved in to the house. I want all my readers to know that I'm totally ok with it, and I'll spell it out in detail in just a second. They've been dating a while and the lease was up on her place so after some serious discussion, we agreed that she should move in.

For those just joining us, Ms. A and I have been in a not-married mode for a while, nearly two years. After roughly nine years of marriage and a couple great kids, Ms. A came out (I guess RE-came-out) and we decided to stick together as friends and raise the kids. At some point we'll probably file for an actual divorce but that's just not on the plate now. It's costly, it's not friendly, it's a pain in the ass, we're not doing it. No reason to just now either. I'm not dating anyone and with the two of them, well, we're in Texas so go figure that out for yourself. Ms. A and I are the best of friends and it just doesn't make sense to us to split up the family like that.

So instead, we're adding to it. Here's where the fundies are going to blow a gasket. The kids love this girl (she needs a nickname, Ms. Louisiana?) and I think she's pretty cool as well. She and Ms. A worked together for a long time at a photo portrait company that went bust. Now she works with a catering company and is putting in something like 150 hours a week. Still, it's an extra person in the house to help with things and it's not a bad deal. She brings home food from events, watches and plays with the kids and will eventually help with bills.

It's really not a bad situation, as weird as it may sound. Ms. A and I weren't going to stay together but because it was amicable and I didn't want to split my time driving around with the kids every other weekend, this just works out. Plus, I get the biggest room in the house, I can put my LEGO sets in my room, there's catered food most nights and honestly there's a new circle of friends. (Which is huge for me, I don't seem to have much luck with that.)

I'm ok, the kids are ok, Ms. A is ok. We're all fine. No one has any hard feelings toward each other, it's all just fine. In fact, I've got a serious amount of karma for being so groovy about the whole thing, which I plan on saving with interest for that future time I may need to fly to Rio with that physics student/poet/rollergirl.

I think the worst thing that will happen is there will be people who can't or won't understand what's going on. So far the people we know have been okay with the whole thing, supportive of in fact. But I do expect to get some hate mail or disingenuous writings saying nasty things about the lot of us. Someone's a home wrecker, someone's selfish, someone has no self esteem, blah blah blah. I'll read them all I'm sure, but I'll go ahead and save you the time by saying it's not going to change anything. Lose sleep over it for us, it won't change what we're doing or why or how we feel about it. If you need to make yourself heard in a malevolent way, there's always a political rally where you can tell people what you really feel with a sharpie and some cardboard.

My biggest concern is when I find someone I like and am courageous enough to open my mouth and tell them, the first few words are going to be about this situation and it will be a deal breaker. If they can't handle the situation, I'm not even going to waste my time. It's a fact of my life the same as people with disabled relatives they take care of or college students with dorm mates or folks who've hit hard times who may live with they're parents or siblings. It'll change eventually I'm sure, just not right now.

Moving on!

Speaking of moving, Ms. A's mom has finally moved out of Conroe. Ms. A and her brother and sister helped find her a place out here and got her packed up and moved. There was a bit of travel, a couple weeks staying at Ms. A's brother's house and she even sold her house and car on Craigslist. Isn't that something. So now she's about 10 minutes away (in Pflugerville) and Ms. A is genuinely excited that she's here. It'll be good for both of them.

Election day is just over a week away. If you're in the states and your state has early voting, go do it now. Don't wait, don't put it off. Election day is going to be a fucking nightmare and you don't want to lose your chance to vote or be part of the problem by waiting till the last minute. Get to it early. Also, if you're undecided, don't vote. If you haven't made up your mind by now, just tune into Wheel of Fortune or something and keep your mouth open while you breath.

Thanks for reading all, take care.

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