Lighter than airlines.

Now this is just ridiculous. I know I know. Safety in the air, 9/11, don't let the terrorists win. You know, I'm all for that crap.

Stopping people from being able to light up after a long flight is just retarded. You think potential terrorists are going to stop because they can't carry lighters? How many bombs have been exploded on airlines in the past 50 years? One? Almost 2? There have been fewer than 2500 fatalities each year for the billions of miles flown over the millions of departing flights since 1970. Does anyone think that it's going to go down even further now that lighters aren't allowed?

They aren't talking about banning lighters from just carry on, but checked lighters as well. That means you have to, if you're a smoker, hit a gas station after you leave the airport before you can light up. What a freakin' annoyance that is.

I've been trying to quit smoking, in fact it's been a few days since I've had one. I was down to just a couple a day, if that, so I don't know if it's so much quitting as it is taking a break every couple days. I don't smoke at work but maybe once a week, then if Mrs. A's brother and his wife come over (they wanted to be called something, but I forget, Uncle and Aunt Austin?) then we'll have a few beers and smokes.

But the point is, this isn't making airlines safer, it's just upsetting more people. I mean, lighters don't even really fall into the dangerous or "why would you take it anyway, dipshit?" category. We're lumping little disposable lighters in with ammunition, hand grenades and dynamite. Although the most interesting item I saw on there was Realistic Replicas of Incendiaries. What is that? Good looking knock off of a fire-bomb used to hold your change?

There's also Chlorine for Pools and Spas. Now, if I was going to be a jerk as say, "Well, this chlorine is for my bathtub," would they let it on?

Martial Arts Weapons. Hey folks, a trained martial artist could use a crouton as a weapon, this should be renamed "Fanboy Paraphernalia" because only super loser BiMonSciFiCon asshats would try to carry a Klingon batleth on a freakin plane. You think Sonny Chiba is every going to be caught carrying a Hanzo sword? Puh-lease, TSA.

Look, I don't mind this laundry list of stuff we can't take onboard. I never remember to pack my Kubatons anyway, and Mrs. A is ALWAYS leaving her Gas Torches in the car. However, now that you've attacked a section of the population that has an addiction, albeit a legal one, isn't there some sort of free rights thing involved here? Probably not, because you let in the lighters and suddenly the Bleach Fetish crowd is gonna cry Roe.

So what I propose is this. While the TSA says they've put the word out about this ban, there's bound to be a good 90-95% of the world population that doesn't get their internal memos or 15 second blurbs on MSNBC and will continue to bring lighters on planes. They will be in pockets, purses, backpacks, fanny-packs and gym bags. People won't even remember they have them.

So, at each airport, there needs to be a donor box at security that is then run over to baggage claim every time it gets full. You loose a light getting probed, you pick one up waiting for your misplaced bags. It's only fair, right?