Camp!

Lil G is at camp.  Based on the photo, he's not that little any more.

G is in Webelos and joined just in time to go with his pack to go camping.  On this last day, his mom is there so the kids can get a ride home.  The pack leader had an emergency and had to leave, so Cheryl filled in.  I know what you're going to say, yes the BSA does have a fairly strict anit-gay policy.  The pack G is in, however, knows about C & C and is actually trying to work to change this stance from inside the organization.  They feel it's more about the kids and should be less about politics.  We like them.  And G seems to like being a scout so far.  This is his first event, so we'll have to see how it goes.

Some more somber news, we had to put Chimera down last Saturday.  Initially the vet thought we could do it in a couple weeks and at home where we'd all feel a little more secure.  But the following day it was apparently she wasn't doing well at all so we made the decision to do it then.  It's been really hard on Cheryl.  It was her dog.  After our cat died so many years ago, and after we found out she was pregnant, we decided to get a dog.  That way the kids and the dog could grow up together.  I wasn't really a dog person at the time (still not really, but I like them okay) so it was mostly for her.

She was a great dog.  Well trained and sweet.  Like all other dogs she had her issues, like getting into the trash or eating a low hanging sandwich.  But all dogs do stuff like that.  Yes, she destroyed a lot of my books and my grandpa's old watercolor paintings, but that's equally my fault for not making sure my room was closed off or those items put higher up.

So the house has been quiet.  We moved her stuff out of sight.  G took it really hard initially, but seems to have moved past it.  He mourned his first fish for days, and still gets sad about that.  I think I've given him my proclivity to hold on to sadness.  Horrible trait to have.

Speaking of, things are still touch and go for me.  You always hear that eventually the good days will outnumber the bad days.  I'm hopeful for as much.  So far they've all been varying degrees of bad.  I want to thank everyone for their kind words.  I know it's hard to talk about or say anything, but I appreciate all the advice and sympathy.  Just doing my best to get past it.

That's all for now.  Carry on.

Update of all things

This probably isn't a smart idea, but writing seems to help.  I shouldn't have been so drastic earlier.

First, our dog is sick.  Chim is old and has been losing her hearing and eyesight.  She's had joint pain for a while now and takes pain meds.  The other day she got into the trash and ate a whole chicken carcass.  I mean all of it, bones and all.  Now she's listless and doesn't like moving or eating and is just all around not good.  Vet said nothing was wrong with her, just that she's old.  So she's on softer food now till she's feeling better, but we're all worried this is it.

When it rains...

There are a few things I should catch you up on.  The summer has been *ahem* otherwise pretty good.  LMA and G-man are both doing things and keeping active.  They're changing schools so this August looks to be quite exciting.  There have been a lot of local events that they've gone to and their moms have done a good job making sure they don't get summer-lazy.

G is in a coach-pitch baseball league through the Y.  It's pretty cute, if a little disorganized.  They've had one practice so far and got their uniforms.  I should have some pictures up on Flickr soon.  He's also a Webelo now.  The Boy Scouts of America has a very staunch anti-gay policy, but they've recently relented a little and said they would be okay if the child was gay or was the child of gay parents.  However, they still didn't want any gay folks in adult roles.  The troop that G is in is very friendly and open, more so that the parent organization.  G seems to like it and he's really cute in his kerchief and hat.

G is also on some ADD meds that have been really effective.  He ended school with great grades and he's just a wonderful little ingenious person around the house.

LMA went to a band camp and made a few friends.  She did fairly well and when she got back was able to meet with her new instructor for her new school.  She just loves playing music and it's nice to have around the house.

So, elephant in the room.  It's been 10 days since the break up.  I'm not going to lie to you and say it's been anything but hellish.  I'm writing about it elsewhere so I won't go into it much here.  Just the nuts and bolts are that I'm still in a lot of pain.  I miss her all the time, with a furious passion.  I don't know how to describe it without sounding desperate and weak.  I don't know when it'll get better.  It's not even day to day, but minute to minute.  My friends have been kind but I know people have different ways of coping and I don't think they know what to say, really.  I've just gotta keep busy and hopefully it'll fade.

That's all for now.  I'll try to keep the break up talk to a minimum and focus more on what the rest of the crew are doing.  Carry on.

"...here at the end of all things."

Sunday the 7th of July, 2013.

Grace and I are no longer seeing each other.  The wedding has been called off.  She has decided that she needs to learn to be by herself.  She told me she's confused and conflicted.  She believes we're both at a crossroads and it's a perfect time to find out what we really want and how we want to live our lives.

Last night we were talking and she said she had to admit a few things.  After we talked everything seemed okay.  I (literally) put out some fires at the house and went to bed.  I had had a horrible day with my job and was not looking forward to Monday.  Just after 11 she called back with more stress and anguish about everything.  Eventually I asked if she wanted to break up and she said she did.

What followed was categorical grief.  There was no sleep.  I cried a lot, but I mostly just sat in bed stunned. I stared at nothing for hours trying to think of what to do or say.  In the end there was nothing I could do.  As sudden and unexpected as it was, there was no changing it.

I'm still angry and I'm hurt beyond recognition.  She still wants to be friends, because there's a chance she'll have her few years of growth and realize she's ready to make a commitment.  Until then, I've got no plans to grow or seek happiness elsewhere.  I'd found something inordinately special and I'll likely never find her like again.  She's convinced time will make it all right.  I'm not at the point I believe her yet.  I'm 40 now and I know what it's like to be happy and what it's like to hurt.  I know that it's not going to get better.  I know I don't want anything else.

I'm sure I'll be able to cope.  I'm sure that in time the sting won't. be as wicked.  My concern is that this will turn to resentment.  I also know myself and I don't recover well from these.  It's going to take all I have not to be petty and hurtful just because I'm wounded.

I don't understand it.  I can't comprehend the reasoning behind being happy (as I was told) and in one turn being conflicted and confused and wanting it it all to end.

So, I'm going to be quiet for a while.  I don't know how else to do it.  I'm also fairly sure this will mark the end of this blog.  I haven't been writing and I don't see much of a reason to keep up with it.  I wish you all well.

Carry on.

Wait...what?

Just a quick post to catch people up on what's going on.

TL is about done with her first year of graduate school.  She'll be coming down to visit in about a month.  We have a trip to Louisiana in May and then I'll be going up to Illinois for a couple weeks.  I've been given the opportunity to work remotely for a week, then take a week of vacation.  If that scenario works out, I might be able to do it again in the future.  I will also be returning via MegaBus.  I'm excited yet wary.  22 hours on a bus might be too much for me, but I will hopefully be able to sleep/read/draw the time away.

Ms. A is also graduating in a couple weeks.  She'll officially, after 20 years we figured, be done with her undergraduate studies.  She already has several plans for graduate studies.  Very exciting.

The biggest news lately is that Lil G officially has been diagnosed with ADD and as of today is now on medication for it.  I know a lot of kids are medicated for it and I know it's not a failure on our part that he needs it.  I still can't quite shake the feeling that he's going to change and it won't be the same little boy.  When I got the news I literally teared up and needed a moment.  After giving it some thought, it's going to be good for him.  Lil G is one of the sweetest kids I know.  He would give you the shirt off his back, provided it isn't a Beyblade or Star Wars shirt.  His downfall is just his lack of attentiveness.  He doesn't have bad grades (all As and Bs) and he's not mean or prone to outbursts.  He's just twitchy and it keeps him from being able to read and focus and learn.

So we're hopeful.  Today is STAAR testing and there's a good chance he will do well enough on it that he won't be held back.

On the other end of the spectrum, Lil Miss Austin has been having some behavior issues.  Recently it's resulted in some major disciplinary action.  She too is not a bad kid, but over time we've all discovered she's not the nicest.  If given the proper attention, (which let's face it parents, it's exhausting, right?) she's equally as sweet and fun.  If that slips for just a moment, she becomes manipulative and deceitful.  Punishing her, and Lil G if it's warranted, is the hardest thing to do as a parent.  I'd rather change diapers for an extra 5 years if it meant I never had to cancel a party or take away an object of affection or forbid an activity.

Hopefully, it's still early enough in her life that she won't follow this pattern and we're able to keep pushing her in the right direction.  Her grades are also good (all As at last check) but she has a problem of waiting till the last minute and panicking at the slightly hint of difficulty.  Some of her behavior is entirely too grown up for her, and some of it is obviously too young.  That's always been her MO.  Just when you think she's mature enough to handle something, she acts like someone years younger and the illusion is shattered.

Still, that's not all that's going on.

There's wedding planning.  We've put a deposit down on a place in Chicago where you spend the day learning metallurgy and at the end you forge your own rings.  TL's parents are helping with the planning in Louisiana and we've already got a place booked and a menu picked out.  TL and I are still debating about favors and decorations, but rest assured it's going to be 100% nerd.  We've also decided on a place in Austin to host a party and there will likely be karaoke.  It will be lots of fun.

If you haven't heard, I'm still drawing robots.  In fact, I finally got a commission to draw something and get paid in LEGO.  There was a guy who was the manager of the LEGO store in Austin who then moved on up in the world and became a community relations rep for LEGO.  So I'm drawing a nice big 14x17 of him as a cowboy space robot fighting an alien slug creature.  Just a reminder that you too can order a drawing.  I'm actually also trying to figure out ways to be paid in Starbucks cards.

I've also been exercising and eating better.   Since the end of February I've lost 14 lbs.  I haven't noticed any health improvements, ie I don't feel any different, but people have noticed and that's pretty cool.

That's all for now.  Carry on.

PS, the little guy in this photo was seen on the Capital building here in Austin.  I've been playing a game called Ingress, which is an Android based GPS turf war ARG.  (If you have an Android and are interesting, I can get you an invite code.)  So it involves a lot of walking and I'm really close to the Capital.  I just saw him sitting on the building as I was walking in from the bus.  TL says people would see them at UT and it meant you'd do well on your next test.

Create 2013 (Test Post)

So this is the artwork for the Create 2013 sponsored by SXSW and some local hacker groups.  This is mainly a test for Networkedblogs on Facebook, so don't read too much into it.

Carry on!

TL vs. Fedex

Fedex will not leave packages in front of my door. Based on my last conversation with Fedex, in which I told them that I never asked for signature on delivery, the customer service said that leaving a package "was up to the delivery person's discretion." So, basically, the Fedex people don't like my neighborhood; to those of you who've never been to my neighborhood, they really have no reason not to. It's has brick streets and old houses. It's very quaint and picturesque in the fall when the foliage is shades of orange and red and when covered with snow. I'm not sure why the Fedex people don't want to leave the packages on my porch, but I've had no real reason to care up an until this point. I did have to drive to the delivery office to pick up some boots and books that I ordered, but it's not very far.

HOWEVER, my generous and amazing parents decided to send me a King Cake. If you've never celebrated Mardi Gras season in Louisiana, you may not be familiar with them. They are delicious giant sweet rolls basically. Usually, they come with a filling (my favorite and the one that most people get - I think- is Bavarian cream). They have green, purple, and yellow icing for the season and have a small plastic baby Jesus inside. Whoever gets the baby Jesus has to buy the next King Cake. It's fun and fattening, but don't worry Catholicism comes with a built in diet - Lent. :) That being said, I am super excited for my fresh from Louisiana King Cake to be delivered to my apartment! (If you'd like one of your own this is where my parents ordered from this year: http://shop.rouses.com/c-8-king-cakes.aspx. These are also very good http://www.gambinos.com/shop/mg_packages.php).

One possible hiccup: Fedex is delivering it, and I will be on campus all day Wednesday, so I won't be home when it is delivered. In hopes that Fedex will leave my delicious present in front of my door, I left them a note. If Fedex does not, there will be swift online retribution and besmirching of their reputation. I posted the note below for your enjoyment. I shall update you on the delivery status later.

Carry on.

TL

UPDATE: Fedex responded very nicely (see photo below). I also added a photo of the King Cake in case you've never seen one. Here is a page telling about the history of King Cakes in Louisiana

The writing says, "You made my day.  Thanks. FedEx."

TL Post- Comic

Hello all! I'm having a fairly relaxed week so far because I got lots of work done during the extra day this weekend. With extra time on my hands, I drew a comic about what happens when Mr. Austin and I watch a TV show together. I will admit that this happens less via Skype, although I have fallen asleep at least once.

I apologize for the poor quality. It's just pen. :)

Carry on.

TL

Guest Blogger

Hi Everyone! TL here. I will be a guest blogger on Mr. Austin's blog. I don't know how much I will contribute, but a lot of it will probably be fun media stuff or news, maybe life stuff if you're lucky ;)

Wedding planning is going well. We'll update everyone when we have more news. School officially started today. I taught my two classes; they went as well as expected. Tomorrow I have a couple of seminars, then the real work will begin. I'm looking forward to my first conference in February and, of course, seeing Mr. Austin there.

NOW onto pop culture stuff. I watched the Golden Globes last night with a couple of my cohorts. If you watched or have been on the Internet today, Tommy Lee Jones was seriously grumpy. It was like he was still Thaddeus Stevens. I mentioned on Facebook that he needed to be compared to grumpy cat. I decided to make one because I had time. Below you'll find the original and my remake. Feel free to Facebook, Tweet, Tumble, Reddit, etc., but at least link back to the blog. Creative Commons!

Carry on.

TL

My Phone Hates Me

I wouldn't even chalk this up to first world problems.  I would chalk it up to me being a giant doofus.

Scenario one:  I'm walking from my bus stop to my office.  I'm not setting any records, but neither am I lollygagging.  I carry a messenger bag kind of across my back and my headphones plugged into my phone in my pocket.  Just as I cross the street, I pass a fire hydrant.  It's a section of sidewalk that's choked by utilities and you have to navigate one of two passages.  I take the one closest to the road.  My headphone cord catches the hydrant, my head snaps back and my phone jumps out of my pocket.

The phone, my biggest concern, is okay.  Thankfully.  I don't have a case on it, and it's a work issued phone, so I'm just happy nothing happened.  Its fall was buffeted by bungee cord the headphones became.  My next concern was my head.  It was really ripped back quite forcefully.  However, I didn't notice any stars or funny sounds or tastes so I guess I'm okay.  My third concern was if anyone saw me.  Hey, I'm only human.  I just managed to recreate a cartoon accident in real life.  Next to a bee or a spider web, this must be high on this list of amusing things to see happen to people at a distance.  I kind of hope someone saw and got a good laugh.

Needless to say the headphones were thrashed.  I've never seen trauma like this on a cord, it was very interesting.

Scenario two:  I'm visiting a comic shop looking for gifts.  As I walk in the door, I notice there's Christmas music playing.  I don't think anything of it.  It started as I walked in the door, it's holiday music, it's all very natural.

I find my gift, and then proceed to meander about looking at other items.  I'm partially aware of stares I'm getting, but I'm not giving it much thought.  At the time I just figured I was a guy dressed in business casual clothes in a comic store and people were eyeing me a bit.  I don't know.  This is also a game store, so there were guys at a couple tables playing something.  There's also a couple people at another table discussing music by the looks of it.  Also giving me a strange look.

I get back up to the front, trying to convince myself I don't need to start buying comics again, nor do I need that Serenity model or that Doctor Who action figure set (with all the Doctors) when I see a lady gesturing to me.  She obviously works there given that she's stacking shelves of comics from boxes.  I walk toward her thinking she's asking if I'm finding everything okay, but I can't really tell over the Christmas music.

She says, "Can you turn your music down?"

I blink stupidly.  My music?  What is she talking about?  "What?"

"That music, it's coming from you.  Is your phone on or something?"

Suddenly all those people staring at me flash through my mind.  I reach into my pocket and pull out my phone and it is indeed open on Pandora and it just happened to be on a holiday song.  (Not just any holiday song either, but some really obnoxious a cappella version of "O Come All Ye Faithful.")

I apologize, explaining I thought it was the store's music.  I fumble with it, trying to find the quit button all the while she's saying repeatedly that I really need to turn that off now, it's very disturbing.  I agree and again apologize.  Once I find it, the lag between hitting "quit" and it actually stopping could be measured in decades.  The music stops and I'm painfully aware of how quiet the store is.

I immediately head to the cashier, pay, apologize again (although the other lady said she didn't hear anything, thankfully) and leave.

Had I heard the music before I got into the store, I'd have known instantly it was my phone.  Had it been anything but holiday music, I might have figured it out.  But the combination of it starting as I entered and it being a Christmas song, just totally fooled my brain into thinking I wasn't a giant walking jukebox of cheer and holiday spirit.

I hope someone told their friends about that one too and they got a good laugh.

Carry on.

Made it so!

By now most of you already know.  Tiger Lily and I are engaged to be wed.

*fanfare*

I'm actually a bit stuck for words.

For those not following very closely, here's a quick run down.

In 2007, my now ex-wife and I split up.  She came back out of the closet and I was okay with it.  No harm.  It was difficult at first but in the end we stayed friends and roommates to raise our kids.  Her new girlfriend moved in and we got to know her family.  Among them was her younger sister, Tiger Lily (not her real name obviously.)  She was visiting Austin to get a look at the University of Texas.  She is several years younger than me, but something sparked between us and both of us were smitten.

It was rough at first.  Her family wasn't happy about it.  We tried keeping it from them for a long time, but eventually they knew and you can probably read back through the history of this blog to see for yourself.  (Although I may have deleted them, it was bad.)  Still, we persevered, knowing somehow that it would some day be worth the trauma.  And I'm glad to say it has.

I'm not entirely convinced her family totally approves, nor my family for that matter.  But we've come to realize that it's our life to lead and that there will always be unhappy or unsympathetic parties involved.  I can't change their minds and I don't want to.  It's their prerogative and I'm sure those who aren't happy for us are that way for their own perfectly acceptable reasons.  I just hope that in the end they at least respect our choice and let us move forward.

But all is not dystopian plains of remorse.  For the most part, everyone was pleased at the news and none more so than TL and me.  We have a lot to plan and thankfully a long time to plan it.  It's always been our choice that she finish her education no matter what.  This union we've agreed upon does not change the things we've planned to do.  To that end, the date we have in mind will likely be in 2014 when she's done with her masters degree.  After that she'll be going right back into it for her doctorate.  At that time, I may decide to move or I may not.  So far the long distance thing has been going great.  Not perfect, and the snuggling is clearly missing, but thanks to technology, it's not as bad as it could be.

For the actually joining, we're still deciding what to do.  Her parents would like a Catholic ceremony, but we're not practicing Catholics.  I'm sure both families would like a ceremony of some sort.  We had a plan of just getting the JP certificate and then having a big nerd party, but there's likely going to be some compromises and some changes before then.  Either way, we want it to reflect who we are above any traditional trappings.  Yes Star Wars, Lego, Lord of the Rings and Star Trek will all be a part of it, and probably more.  Because, well, we're nerds.  And we like that.

So there's that.  Thanks for listening.  I know ABC hasn't replied to my request to develop a story about my life.  Modern Family is pretty close, but I think them casting me with Ed O'Neill is a little hurtful.  I'm not THAT old.

Am I?

Carry on.

Ad Rating: Cadical ATS vs Nissan Pathfinder

I've been watching a lot of TV lately.  More so than usual.  I can't help it.  I like watching football on the weekend.  I'm not even a sports nut, I just like having it on.  There's something calming, almost nostalgic about the snaps and buzzes of snare drums on Saturday and the evening musical cues on Sunday and Monday.  It sounds like fall, like childhood.

Watching all this TV I've stumbled across a couple ads that are in stark contrast to each other, but are attempting to show the same thing.  I'm not an ad guru, or a marketing maven.  I'm just a person who appreciates good ad campaigns.  I don't like feeling patronized or needlessly hooked into a product.  No one does.  If you feel like someone is playing you for a sap, then the commercial just lost that company a client.

Let's start with the Cadillac ATS vs. The World.



At first glance, it's ambitious.  It's part Travel Channel, part James Bond.  The driver, his attractive and excitable passenger and the film crew travel to exotic locals in order to put this luxury car through its paces.  If it can handle THESE roads, it must be good.  It must be able to handle driving upstate to visit the family, or across town to catch that late night sci-fi/horror film.  Is there anything it can't do?

Well, yes.  It's just a car.  And let's put some perspective on it, it's still just driving on roads.  Yes, the roads are twisty and turny and bumpy and shadowed, but my guess is they are still flat ribbons on which this car goes forward with all tires touching at once.  Notice also that the car is brought in on a semi.  It's such a great car, it can't be bothered to cruise the pedestrian streets of Normalville.  It has to be carted in NASCAR style to these locations.

The car doesn't turn into Aquatron and swim to across that beautiful cove.  It doesn't fight those kid judo masters.  It doesn't plow across the ice flow.  It drives on a road.

The co-pilot's line "It's like Armageddon out there!" just solidifies that fact that Cadillac's marketing division really thought that viewers would buy into this whole adventure across the globe as a good way to show off their product.  The problem is, in the right hands, you could drive any car down these roads.  If you are a professional driver on a closed course, you don't need this specific car.  To me, this is an example of hype, and an ad campaign that's over blown and insulting.  It looks like an excuse for a group of people to travel the globe to "test" whether or not this car can handle these roads, as though the R & D people didn't think of that already, as though the safety team didn't smash up hundreds of cars just like this, as though hundreds of well educated people didn't already have their say.  Now we have Bo and Luke driving on a dirt road.

Where do I sign up for this job?

To top it off, it's not just ONE commercial.  Cadillac has created a whole TV/web video campaign about this car vs. The World.  There are episodes.  EPISODES!

By way of comparison, let's look at Nissan's Pathfinder commercial.  In this (remarkably shorter) ad, a family wants to see Glacier Point, but it's closed.  They feel their car can handle the terrain so they ask the trail guide to open it up for them.



What follows is a decent example of what a commercial CAN be.  It shows the car in action, it doesn't pander, it doesn't hype and it uses a bit of humor.  This car actually CAN go to exotic locations, but we aren't treated to the two hour IMAX hosted by Anthony Bourdain version showing us how.  It's simple, it's not overblown and it's not completely out of the realm of possibility.

I guess what it comes down to is why Cadillac may be trying so hard.  Their ATS is only $5k more on the base MSRP than the Pathfinder, but the latter is an all purpose vehicle.  Depending on the driver, it can be driven many ways.  The ATS is nearly a muscle car by comparisson.  It's a compact luxury sports car.  Nissan's site also lists the MPG for the Pathfinder, the ATS doesn't.  I guess "luxury" means we have to also deal with the pomp associated with the vehicle.

I wonder, would the sticker price be lower if they didn't have to pay for these people to fly all over the world doing what you could probably do driving around Colorado?

Movember

Tiger Lily reminded me that it's November, and that means it's another year to try Movember!  Movember is a time when guys enter the month clean shaven and then a grow a moustache (or mustache for us yanks) and raise money and awareness for men's health issue such as prostate and testicular cancer.  Much like October being all things pink, November is now all things mustache.

So I'm giving it a go.  I've already got a few pledges and that's good.  I don't have a goal other than to raise as much as I can.  You can read about the event online and if you'd like you can make a pledge.  

I don't plan on posting photos here every day, but I will put them up on a Flickr set if you're that hard up for entertainment.

Carry on.

Art Appreciation and Moral Integrity

A friend posted on Facebook that after viewing a certain type of behavior on Twitter by an artist they liked, they were now hesitant to keep buying this person's work.  When pressed, I gathered that it was mostly political rantings and that this artist was being a jerk about it to their followers.  This sparked a debate I've had internally for quite some time:  Is your appreciation of an artist's work contingent on how you see them as a person?

More simply, if they are a jerk, would you support them artistically?

We posted back and forth amicably, both of us agreeing that this situation was muddy at best.  I also started the conversation with Tiger Lily, wanting her take.  My initial argument came in the form of movie actors.  I like certain actors and their performances despite the fact that I know in their, sadly labeled, private life, they are either hard to work with, horrible to their friends and family or have a belief system that does not agree with mine.  I'm not terribly religious myself, but I do have an arguably inappropriate distaste for some religions.

That said, my example was Tom Cruise.  He's a believer in Scientology and his exploits in the public eye are weird at best.  In fact, I recall vividly how disappointed I was to find out that Will Smith was also a believer of Scientology.  However, I like Tom Cruise as an actor.  I know he's not the best, but I don't remember a movie he was in where I thought he was the worst part.  I enjoy his character portrayals, albeit limited, and I think he's pleasing to watch.  You could argue the same for any actor in a similar situation now, that despite their personal lives, they may be a very entertaining actor.

You could say the same, also, for writers, directors, musicians and artists.  And living or dead, these artists have or had some belief system that impacted their work in any number of ways.  But what makes us either continue to like their work or stop being a patron?  What throws that switch that says we will not support this person's endeavors because of how we feel personally?  And is it absolute or a level of gradation?

A few examples arose during our discussion, and these are two outliers.  The area's in between are the reason for this discussion.

Chinatown is arguably one of the best films of the 20th century.  Critics have always given it a high mark and film makers cite it as a groundbreaking piece of film.  However, it was directed by an alleged child rapist named Roman Polanski.  The charges against him lingered until his arrest just a few years ago, and even after his release by the Swiss government public opinion of him was negative.  Yet despite who Polanski is and what he allegedly had done (I only say that because he was never convicted) I've never heard anyone say, "I've heard Chinatown is great, but I won't watch it because Polanski is a child rapist."

On the other side is the online video The Innocence of Muslims in which a noted Islam basher creates a trailer for a film (that may or may not be actually ever released) that intentionally creates a false world around the prophet Mohammand in what can only be seen as an attack against Islam.  Creatively, these two examples aren't even remotely similar, but that's not at issue here.  What is is your desire to see it.  Chinatown may be thought provoking, expertly made, and wildly entertaining, but you know who made it.  The Innocence may be all these things as well, but its story is basically telling lies and is told by someone who hates the characters and their real life followers.  So now do you have any problem not seeing this movie?  Why?


Why do we love Chris Brown before he hit Rhianna?  Why do we love T.S. Elliot despite him being a rabid anti-semite?  Picasso left a trail of broken women and yet his art sells for hundreds of millions.

So what's the dividing line?  At what point do we say to ourselves that our principles outweigh our desire to be pleased by art or music or the written word?  Are we not capable of separating the work for the worker, the art from the artist?

The original poster added that if he had a lawn guy that did great work but was later found to be a raging bigot, he'd find a new lawn guy.  It's a shift in art as work versus a trade, but the question still remains.  What about them do you find so offensive that you will not accept good craftsman ship and should that even matter?  Will you let a homophobic cashier check you out at a grocery store?  Would you let a racist dispense cash at a teller window, or fix your A/C or rotate your tires?

Tiger Lily also flipped it on me by asking what I would do if I found out someone didn't order a drawing from me because of my lifestyle.  Maybe someone doesn't like that I'm pro-gay and pro-choice and I live with lesbians while raising my kids and they in turn will not commission work from me.  My response was, that's their right to do so.  Yes I'd be hurt, but in the end, it's their loss more than mine.  They've missed out on having a unique piece of work done specifically for them.  Their lives are less rich culturally because of their personal beliefs.  So does that make them feel better about themselves because they've taken a stand?  My guess is that if they find a gay-bashing, pro-lifer who draws robots, they probably won't care a whit.

Dragon*Con

(from Robot Portraits)

In about 72 hours I'll be in a hotel in Atlanta, anxiously awaiting the start of Dragon*Con.  It's my first visit to this particular event and it will mark the first out of state convention I've been to in 7 years; the last being Chicago's Wizard World in 2005 where I unsuccessfully tried to sell my comic.

This time around I won't have any artwork to sell and sadly I won't be dressing up.  However, my lovely lady WILL be dressing up as Rei Ayanami from Neon Genesis Evangeleon.  She's very excited as this is her first all handmade costume.  We'll also be traveling with a friend who was wonderful enough to book our hotel WAY ahead of time.

To that end, I wanted to say that if you ARE planning on going to Dragon*Con, and you spot me there, I"ll have a QR code pasted on my person or pack somewhere.  If you scan it and email me or text me and place an order, I'll do an additional character sketch card for free.  "Ah, but how will you know I was there.  Can't I just place an order?"  Nay!!  You'll have to include a very special piece of information to get it, something you'll only know if we meet in person:  The shirt I'm wearing.

I'm very proud of my shirts.  They are of a style that is hard to find.  So if you see me, and you like the idea of getting a robot portrait AND a sketch card for virtually nothing, all you have to do is tell me what I wore when we met.

Even if you come by this page after scanning the QR and you don't remember or didn't see the shirt, let's face it, for what I'm charging, it wouldn't make any sense for you NOT to order something.  Right?

So I hope to see some of you fans out there.  Feel free to email if you're going and mayhaps we can share a beverage.

Carry on!

Pranking

A friend recently linked this article and it's been floating around a while.  10 Pranks That Will Spice Up Your Relationship.  Read that first, then come back here.

The first time I read this, my initial revulsion gave way to complete disbelief.  On the heels of this wonderful blog post written by the most caring and sensitive human alive, I began to think that maybe romance is dying.  Do we have to pull cute pranks on each other?  Are we so cynical that creative, endearing proposals are sickening and exploitative?

Here are my responses to Fox News' 10 sweet pranks.

1. Don't do any of this shit.

Seriously, are you 5?  Gluing a coin to the floor?  Making up items on a list for a grocery trip?  Are you bloody kidding me?  I swear, there's a sentence in there that says, "...start laughing and pointing."  And we wonder why there's a bullying problem.

Here's what the article says to me.  In order to "spice up" your relationship, you should be sneaky and slightly hurtful.  Nothing turns a man on like making him feel small and stupid.

If you're going to stuff crap in his shoe or tape something to his mouse, just leave the note instead.  A note by the front door saying, "Take your clothes off and come find me" is a lot more "spicey" that "Hey, doofus, there's tissue paper in your shoe.  Aren't you a piece of work?!"  If you're going to pull a prank, do one together.  Make prank phone calls together and laugh about it.  Walk around town together and stare forlornly into cafe windows and wait for people to get uncomfortable.  Make up silly accents and ask for directions.

The point is, the more you do together, the less work your relationship will need.

A New Chapter

Corn Field
Originally uploaded by xadrian.

This last week I helped Tiger Lily move to Illinois. As you may know, she's going for her masters degree and U of I gave her the best offer. It may be that she will also go for her doctorate at the same school.

This started out as a simple matter of driving up in a moving van and spending a few days together before I flew back to Austin. We later found out that her parents were taking a trip to the Ozarks. It was decided that we'd meet for an overnight stay in Little Rock, then a few days in the Ozarks, before making the last drive up to Champaign.

The trip was stressful and there were more than a few things that went awry, but none were catastrophic and in the end it was a very kind gesture on the part of her parents to put us up and get us a few meals along the way. They also helped unpack and got TL some needed supplies.

The trip was fraught with small details that made it both trying and interesting. They won't enrich this story any more than me recapping the dream I had last night. In the end it became a small vacation; one in which I left my best friend before returning.

I probably shouldn't write anything this close to the event, but I know my family will have questions and want to know if I'm doing okay. Despite writing this I'm sure they will ask anyway. I will say that yes, eventually, I will be okay. We've known this was going to happen so at least it's not a shock in addition to the separation. However, that doesn't make it any easier.

I am very sad. I will be sad for quite some time. I hope I don't feel this way for two years. While I haven't lost my best friend, she isn't around any more. The sadness comes from the knowledge that after almost 4 years, I'll be sleeping alone, eating alone and experiencing events alone. I will have my kids and The Ladies around all the time and that's some solace. And I'm doing my best to stay busy and positive, but the sheer "apart-ness" of it is going to be crushing.

A couple we were friends with recently posted that they were ending their engagement. They were very cute and happy and seemed destined to be together. About 15 months ago She went to school in China and he moved to Oklahoma. After considerable examination, they decided their worlds were just too far apart and despite being great friends, they just couldn't be in a romantic, intimate relationship.

Yes I'm worried that will happen with us.

We aren't engaged but there is little doubt that one day we will be. Ms. A asked how long until I move to Illinois and my gut reaction was to say I'm not going to, but then I remembered saying goodbye at the airport and now I'm not so sure.

So now I'm a sci-fi character that moves between worlds, never truly belonging to either. With TL out of Austin, I'm going to spend more time with the kids, and that's a positive. But at the possibility of not seeing TL for 7 years, my heart is going to be constantly pulled toward those corn fields.

Summer of Change

Sink Hole
Originally uploaded by xadrian.

Hey all, just a quick update for those that don't follow me on FB or Twitter or emails or a phone call or in person. So, yeah, you.

As you know, Tiger Lily is moving to Illinois. I will be helping her move at the end of July, then she'll be there for a minimum of two years. After that she'll apply to other schools for her doctorate and either stay there longer or move again. We plan on texting and talking over Skype a lot. Yes we're going to try the long distance relationship.

To that end, we may also be starting a new podcast. Friends of ours invited us onto their new Doctor Who podcast, Playing Doctor Podcast and they've also been running the Dork Trek podcast as well. It's a model we want to use for Deep Space Nine since we're both big fans. It'll also give us an excuse to talk with each other at least once a week. I'll post more when it's available.

Some quick items. G-man's asthma is being treated by a new pulmonologist instead of the pediatrician and so far it's doing a lot better. Also, his reading has improved dramatically, so much so he won a prize from the library.

LMA is currently at camp and hopefully having fun. This is her first sleep away camp, so don't bring it up with her mom, she'll start crying. She's otherwise doing well and we're excited for her to start middle school. She'll be trying her hand at the oboe.

A month after Tiger Lily leaves, we will meet up in Atlanta for Dragon*Con. We'll both be wearing costumes so keep an eye out online at all the nerdy sites and you might see us. She'll be the sexy anime mech pilot, Rei Ayanami and I'll be the fat dude covered in cardboard trying to look like Dr. Gordon Freeman.

Then the big gay family is moving! It's just a little ways away into Pflugerville, but it's a nicer house. The ladies are buying it instead of renting and I'll be living with them for a while till I can get my own place. We have an arrangement with custody and child support and all that, so there are plans and they are in motion. Those of you who snail-mail cards and such will get a new street address soon.

To answer some questions: No, no one I know was hurt or lost in the fires in Colorado. My mom and uncle do lives mere miles away from the Waldo Canyon fire and were either evacuated or alerted to possible evacuation, but they are all okay. Secondly, no I don't know anyone lost or hurt in the movie theater shooting in Aurora. My brother lives just a couple miles away and they have visited that theater, but they weren't there.

This photo you're seeing is from a recent trip to Avery Island in Louisiana. It's where Tabasco Sauce is made. We visited Tiger Lily's mom and dad for the July 4th weekend and this was one of our excursions. (More available online.)

Future projects coming up include an album cover for an online acquaintance, some tee-shirt designs, some character designs for a couple friends, a possible Lego UT Tower rebuild and of course building my Dragon*Con costume. August is going to be busy.

I don't write here much, so please come find me on Facebook or Twitter. Carry on.

Prometheus Debate

A while ago, I talked about a major plot hole that I found in one of my more beloved movies.  It was one of those needling, pesky thoughts you would have over time.  But every time I watched it, I new something was wrong.

Which is how I felt watching Prometheus.


I don't think a movie in recent years has sparked such debate.  People in whom I have placed a certain amount of trust when it comes to gauging a movie's quality have said it was awful.  Other's who I wouldn't pick to tell me if it was raining outside said it was an amazing film.  Now, this is a failing of my own, not making up my own mind, but that's another post for later.  And I don't mean to generalize my friends into idiots and geniuses when it comes to film, but I know that if certain people love a movie, I will hate it.  That's just experience over time.  What I'd like to do today is put down my thoughts, and the thoughts my of my lovely lady, into a humble critique of the movie from an obvious layperson.

Ridley Scott has flattly stated that Prometheus wasn't going to be a prequel to Alien and I remember thinking that was a dodge.  When Star Trek came out in 2009, the fans were elated at the quality and performances.  The story was serviceable and there were a few spatial anomalies to be concerned about, but over all it was the most enjoyable movie I saw that year.  I recall walking back to the car just too happy to even speak; so many good things happened in that movie.  But I also remember knowing it was going to be a reboot.  It was going to use the same starting point, but go off in a new direction.  No one made any claims to the contrary.

Prometheus, on the other hand, was summarily dismissed as a prequel to Alien, and more of a story behind the mysterious Space Jockey.  This creature was window dressing to the horror that was later to unfold in Alien but has since sparked much interest.  What was this petrified life form?  Was it attacked by the xenomorphs?  Was it transporting the eggs for delivery or research?  Was his death intentional? A lot of questions were raised in that short scene, and Prometheus, it seems, was attempting to answer those.

From this point on, I will be talking about major plot points.  You've had your warning.


So, the movie wasn't a prequel.  It had a company that sent researchers to a world on the other side of the galaxy.  This world had a giant C shaped starship.  On this ship were containers with alien life.  This alien life easily infiltrated its host, emerged and grew quickly.  There's even a nefarious android.  No, this isn't a prequel.

I understand the desire to tell a different story based in that universe.  I understand wanting it to be separate from what you've done before.  But I believe that it was done wrong.  Sir Scott wanted to show where the mysterious Space Jockey/Engineers came from by giving us a prettier version of Alien.  The problem with the movie was that it brought up too many questions while looking like it was on the verge of answering them at the same time.

The opening shows a large pale humanoid figure standing atop a waterfall.  He disrobes, eats something from a small dish and dies, while in the background a large disk shaped craft slowly flies off into space.  The poison destroys his DNA and his body disintegrates.  Once in the water, the DNA seems to mend and become vibrant, active cells.  Though we don't know for sure, the setting is very Earth like, so we are to assume that this opening bit is the film's way of saying, "Hey, these guys pretty much invented life on Earth."  The question for later is, "Just human life?"

The basic gist of the story is that a rich old guy funds a trip to a planet based on a discovery by two archaeologists.  They find carvings and paintings of ancient peoples depicting the same giant figure pointing to the heavens and the same celestial objects.  The find the right location of the stars, find that there is a sun like ours, with a planetary moon much like Earth.  So they go there.  They find a building.  In the building they find a body (much like the Space Jockey.)  In a room near the body they find a huge head, a crystal on a dais, a mural with an alien figure and a lot of little vases.  Their presence activates the hi-jinks that is this movie and it turns into the goodnight song from the von Trapps as one by one the crew is picked off by something.  One Space Jockey is alive and the old guy shows up to ask him for eternal life.  The alien responds by going on a killing spree and the heroine must survive him and the elements.  She ends the film by finding another of the alien ships to go looking for where they came from.

I've left a lot out for brevity's sake.  The questions and assumptions start here.

We don't learn from any record that these aliens are purposefully carrying the dangerous xenomorphs to Earth to eliminate us.  It was all supposition from an android whose sanity and loyalty were in question.  We assume he can read the ship's manifest and destination where it specifically states, "Cargo: weaponized life form.  Destination: Third planet of Terran system."  Our assumption comes from a) this ship contains a gelatinous substance that fucks with other life forms.  It has tons of this stuff and even the smallest drop of it turns normal living creatures into terrible monsters.  And b) a nice hologram of a wide rang of star systems shows Earth.  Amidst myriad of stars and planets, we now assume that since Earth is on there, that's where they must be going.  It couldn't be that we just exist in their databases.  They were there before; it serves that we could just show up in a star map.

So our theory is that the first giant space albino we see in the movie was dropped off on Earth as a punishment.  He was exiled with a loaded weapon.  However, the unintended consequence is that his DNA started life on this blue-green ball.  So ages later, his race sees what has happened and decide to come back with the xenomorphs to fix that mistake.  That kind of makes sense.

However, two issues come up.  The first being that form of eradication never works.  You use one animal to kill another and suddenly you have new dominant species to deal with.  How many times here on Earth has one thing been brought in to kill another only to become a bigger problem.  The second issue is that if we were a mistake, where did the cave paintings come from?  At some point the big guys had to come back and give us this information.  So what was the motivation there?  Was it them leaving enough evidence of their existence so that we'd go looking for them and bring a xenomorph back accidentally, saving them all the trouble?  Was it a benign few creatures, telling us stories of our existence, which we patently forgot over time?

Another idea is that they wanted Earth for their own and left a single person here to create life but that life became stunted and warlike.  The first visits were fine, just here to check up on humanity.  But later we decide to bomb the daylights out of each other over philosophy and land so the aliens decide we're too much trouble and chose instead to wipe us out before we become a problem.

But that is never explain in the movie.

So what we're left with is a film that sets out to answer more questions by asking them.  And I haven't even gone into who the rich man's "daughter" was.  (Theories are that she's an android but that story died with her.)  I get the distinct feeling that this will create so much buzz that additional films will have to be made if only to sate our curiosity over all these questions.  If not, it will die a very open ended story with just a surface level link to Alien.

In the end, Prometheus was a very pretty movie.  The environment, the actors, the action, the graphics.  At no point did something seem out of place or fake or unnecessary, other than the writing.

Coffee Waste

File this under First World Problems.  I wanted to treat my lady to coffee today.  She was nice and made breakfast and had the day off anyway so I thought I'd get her a nice coffee.  We stopped by the nearby Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf and got our usual.  We're fans of coffee so we try different places, the more local the better.  CB&TL just happens to be the closest one that boasts a drive-through.

Much to my consternation, our drinks came with splash sticks.  These weren't the long splash/stir sticks you see at Starbucks, but a sawed-off version with the sole purpose of avoiding a couple dollops of coffee to escape while you drive or walk away.  They're a cute gimmick but that's all they are.  And the only reason CB&TL are doing it is because big brother Starbucks is doing it.

This is extremely wasteful, I hope they see that.  We recycle all the cups we get from coffee places, in fact it's more than any other single item in our bins.  But you have to separate it out to paper for the cup, cardboard for the sleeve and plastic for the lid.  Now there's another plastic that's likely a different number, but I don't know what number it is.  (I know, "Wah, wah! Shut up you stupid hippie!")

While I don't mind doing the recycling work, I think the company should take it upon itself to be more proactive about the plastic they use.  I'm okay with lids.  I think the old fashion lids with the perforated openings were just fine.  Plus, it's a single #6 recycling plastic.  They're easy to collect and then toss into your blue bin or take to the recycling centers.  No fuss, no muss.  Plus there's a reason for the lids; the coffee is hot. As we stupid Americans have found out, hot coffee is a litigious beverage.  We need as many barriers between our groins and our scalding morning jump-juice as possible.  We just can't be trusted otherwise, hence the lids. And that's fine.

But these stir/splash sticks are like paper receipts.  Unless you are collecting receipts as part of a business trip, I don't need one.  I have a record of it on my bank account.  Plus, it's not like it's a car or 65inch TV or computer; it's a cup of coffee.  As Mitch Hedberg says, "I give you the money, you give me the donut.  End of transaction.  We do not need to bring ink and paper into this."  Stir sticks have a life cycle of box, coffee cup, trash can in about 30 seconds.  Why even bother with that waste?  If you're going to have these sticks, put a special jar or bin out to collect the unwanted ones.  Or leave the sticks out for people to chose if they need them.  I understand you may be taking a large order to your office and you don't want to spill, but leave that choice to the consumer.  Don't just hand me plastic.

There's a place in Pflugerville called Dazzle.  They make especially good coffee for starters.  They are also very friendly, community oriented, and their overhead is almost nothing.  They work out of what may have been an old burger drive through, but it's maybe a 50sq foot free standing building and all they do is coffee.  What separates them further from the other local shops and the big chains is the lids they use.

I know they didn't make these themselves, but I did some research on the subject (and by research I mean I did some online searching for about 10 mins) and couldn't find the manufacturer of these lids.  (I'm sure it's on the lid itself, but I don't have one with me.  I'll update when I get one.)  The point is, I couldn't EASILY find it online.  Which is a shame because this is a genius level lid.  It's pop-up book technology AND it removes the need for wasteful splash sticks.

So why hasn't CB&TL adopted this instead of following Starbuck's lead with the sticks?  That's a good question.  I thought maybe it was cost, which is why I was trying to find a manufacturer to gauge price.  I can't imagine the cost of fancy lids outweighs normal lids + sticks.  Not to mention the waste cost we must endure afterwards.

So I'm making an effort.  I'm going to ask from my big chains that they not give me a stir stick.  If they insist, I'll hand it back and ask that they recycle it.  I'm going to write Starbucks and CB&TL and suggest this lid instead.  And I'm definitely going to patron Dazzle as long as I'm nearby.

Carry on.

Type A Assholes

A recent article on CNN.com by an Austin based reporter garnered several antagonistic and arrogant responses, not least of which called users of Facebook "sissy men" and encouraged readers to play sports and watch more sports channels.  I tried to weigh in with a comment that was possibly too passive-aggressive, and when others jumped all over me for it, I found I wasn't able to respond to them; further encouraging the beast that is an internet argument.

So I've taken to my own unread blog to respond, mostly because I won't be able to get through my day unless I offer a long-winded, ambling and incoherent response.

The article basically says that despite everyone bitching about social networks, privacy and the erosion of face to face communication, Facebook is here to stay.  One seventh of the world's population uses it.  I think at this point the only thing being more utilized is oxygen.  I use it a lot.  I tried moving away from it, but here's the thing about ubiquitous monopolies; they're usually very easy to use.  I know they come with scary privacy policies and leaky protections against third party data mining, but my view is, if I was worried about that, I wouldn't be using the thing in the first place.  Is it fair to say I should have to trade my personal information in order to use a free social site?  I think that's the price you pay for "free."  I fail to see how much more nefarious Facebook can be than targeted ads.  Think about it.  They aren't getting a dime from you so they have to use advertising to make some money to cover the overhead.  Targeted ads result in more revenue because you're more likely to buy.  So, is that the worst thing that can happen?

Imagine you walk into a bar and start ordering drinks.  The drinks are free, there's no cover, and you can meet all your friends at any time.  You dictate the music that's played and who is invited.  Now, in order to pay for all this, the bar has to sell ad space on the napkins and coasters and TVs and the backs of chairs and maybe the servers' shirts.  For everything you see there that you go buy later, the bar gets a cut.  If they're randomly putting up ads for medical equipment, crochet needles and tours of the airbases at Okinawa, are they going to get a lot back?  Not from me.  If, however, I walk in the door and they ask me some questions about who I am and then all the ads become about space combat games and cheap places to take my kids and a few good breakfast taco/coffee shops, you bet I'd shop those.

Is the trade off bad?  That's up to you to sort out.  I'm not going to comment too much about personal privacy or else I'll have every Libertarian I know yelling at me about government interference and the death of personal privacy.

What I would like to talk about is all the negativity that seems to stem from using social networking sites as a waste of time.  First, let me just say, "Duh!"  Social networking sites are supposed to be a time waster.  What could you possibly be thinking if you feel Facebook and Twitter are built primarily as constructive, community building applications?  To be fair, they CAN be used to organize events, reach out to your constituents, be the face of a foundation or cause, but at their cores, these things are ways for people to talk to each other in much the same way we talk face to face; about nothing.

Think about it.  The last time you hung out with your friends, what did you talk about?  Stuff you saw on TV?  A sporting event?  What your kids or parents were doing?  How many of you (dictators and billionaire geniuses aside) planned the next revolution?  How many of you even said more than a few meaningful and deep things that changed someone's life?  And I'm talking about the most immediate interaction you had.  My guess is very few of us.

So why is it that there's this constant desire to put down Facebook because you're not on it?  Is your time better spent than mine because you aren't wasting time the same way I am?  I don't watch a lot of TV, and when I do put something on the big box sitting on that shelf, it's usually talking head shows or Netflix.  So is my Facebook time somehow worse than your reality TV time?  If I'm posting artwork in the hopes that someone will see it and order something from me, how is that worse than you watching The Bachelor?  Which is more noble, posting pictures of my kids so my grandparents can see them, or you taking that time to have another shot of tequila and then puking an hour later?  Which "social" is more constructive?

Agreed, I don't care to see when people say their lives suck but never follow up.  I don't want to know who is playing what game online.  I don't need to know what purses you like or what opinion you have about certain musicians.  But I read it anyway because that's part of who you are.  If we were at a restaurant catching up, what would you say to me?  I really like this new pair of pants I saw, or did you read that latest Green Lantern, or man I can't believe how much lag there is on Diablo III.  It's the same thing.  We're wasting the same time, so don't get all high-and-mighty about how your beer swilling floats down a river are somehow better than my party organizing or news article reading.

You're not better, you're just bitter.