A New Chapter

Corn Field
Originally uploaded by xadrian.

This last week I helped Tiger Lily move to Illinois. As you may know, she's going for her masters degree and U of I gave her the best offer. It may be that she will also go for her doctorate at the same school.

This started out as a simple matter of driving up in a moving van and spending a few days together before I flew back to Austin. We later found out that her parents were taking a trip to the Ozarks. It was decided that we'd meet for an overnight stay in Little Rock, then a few days in the Ozarks, before making the last drive up to Champaign.

The trip was stressful and there were more than a few things that went awry, but none were catastrophic and in the end it was a very kind gesture on the part of her parents to put us up and get us a few meals along the way. They also helped unpack and got TL some needed supplies.

The trip was fraught with small details that made it both trying and interesting. They won't enrich this story any more than me recapping the dream I had last night. In the end it became a small vacation; one in which I left my best friend before returning.

I probably shouldn't write anything this close to the event, but I know my family will have questions and want to know if I'm doing okay. Despite writing this I'm sure they will ask anyway. I will say that yes, eventually, I will be okay. We've known this was going to happen so at least it's not a shock in addition to the separation. However, that doesn't make it any easier.

I am very sad. I will be sad for quite some time. I hope I don't feel this way for two years. While I haven't lost my best friend, she isn't around any more. The sadness comes from the knowledge that after almost 4 years, I'll be sleeping alone, eating alone and experiencing events alone. I will have my kids and The Ladies around all the time and that's some solace. And I'm doing my best to stay busy and positive, but the sheer "apart-ness" of it is going to be crushing.

A couple we were friends with recently posted that they were ending their engagement. They were very cute and happy and seemed destined to be together. About 15 months ago She went to school in China and he moved to Oklahoma. After considerable examination, they decided their worlds were just too far apart and despite being great friends, they just couldn't be in a romantic, intimate relationship.

Yes I'm worried that will happen with us.

We aren't engaged but there is little doubt that one day we will be. Ms. A asked how long until I move to Illinois and my gut reaction was to say I'm not going to, but then I remembered saying goodbye at the airport and now I'm not so sure.

So now I'm a sci-fi character that moves between worlds, never truly belonging to either. With TL out of Austin, I'm going to spend more time with the kids, and that's a positive. But at the possibility of not seeing TL for 7 years, my heart is going to be constantly pulled toward those corn fields.