24.4.03

Lil Miss Austin got her first official hair cut for a kids' salon last night. She was wonderfully behaved and we have some pictures that I'll add later. Her hair was in her face but we didn't want to lose the lenght because, frankly, she has gorgeous hair. The place had merry-go-round style horses and cars for kids to sit on as well as a video screen in front of each playing cartoons. So she sat quietly watching Lilo & Stitch while Yvonne (I think) made short work of her 2 year old locks.

Mrs. Austin of course kept the hair and almost cried when they filled out a little certificate recording for history the First Haircut. It was neat.


There was a little Indian boy there with his parents and we saw something very interesting. The kid had thick curly groovy hair (he was about 18-24 months) and the parents had his head SHAVED!! We were shocked. The stylists explained that they do this all the time for Indian families. It's apparently a tradition that they'll take the first hair cut hair and send to to the country of their origin and the family will use it in a prayer service which ensures long, thick, strong hair for their remaining lives. I plan on doing some research on this, but it seems odd that they cut hair to ensure they have nice hair. Kid looked a little odd bald.

Mrs. Austin said she'd divorce me if I did that to our girl. One thing to note, even though she was a perfect angel throughout, it's hard to remember sometimes that she's just a kid.

23.4.03

Blogger support is non-existant. If you know ANYTHING about archiving with them, drop us a line would you? Even posts that are done here aren't being saved correctly. It's getting tiresome, but it's hard to argue with Free. I guess if I wanted to bitch, I'd pay for Moveable Type and set it up myself. Ah, where does the time go.

Lil Miss Austin is really coming along in the cognitive arena. Last weekend we were going to go outside to a pond, look for some ducks to feed. Mrs. Austin decided that the kid needed a nap first. She would say, "If you take a nap now, when you wake up we'll go Bye Bye." Now, we've tried this reasoning in the past, but a 18 month old brain just doesn't wrap around If, When, Later, Goto, Select*From....wait, that's different. Well anyway, she doesn't know bargaining or bribing. "You can go outside if you eat your asparagus." Well, Sunday she took her nap, we watched a movie and when she woke up, instead of crying or calling out she said, "I'm awake. Go Bye Bye now." This was two hours and several R.E.M. cycles later that she remembered what we told her. It was endearing and amazing at the same time. She's starting to develop temporal awareness and it's probably the most useful ability next to walking and talking I think she can get. Understanding what later is, or what happened yesterday is just monumental. Cats and dogs can walk and communicate, but they don't understand what it means to do something 'after' or 'before.' I'm quite happy with our little prodigy.


We also spent a good chunk o' bread at the party store getting several trinkets for her birthday, and event she probably won't remember regardless if she is developing that frontal lobe. All I did was pull the cart up to the Spongebob section and proceded to pick one of each. We've even got a pinata for Cripe's Sake. I plan on video taping an adult getting nutmeged with a stick so I can win 10gs from Bob Sagat.

17.4.03

Still working on getting the old posts up in here. Today is Lil Miss Austin's Spring Fling at her school. It's for Easter, but we like to say it's a spring party. She'll actually celebrate Ostara which is the actual event. It's also the celebration all of Christianity used but called it Easter and it just so happened their messiah was brought back to life on that day. (On the spring festival? Right of spring? Fertility and new life and all that? Yes. Wow, how'd they swing that? I don't know, I guess they must have tried to kill off all the Pegans so they wouldn't be pissed about stealing all their stuff. Oh, cool thanks.)

Anyway, it also means we get a three day weekend. Well, Mrs. Austin doesn't, but the kid and I do. I was hoping for some Me time to get some drawing done, but I can deal. Brother Austin is coming over and we're also doing a Murder Party tomorrow night, that should prove to be fun. They always are, drinking and laughing and shouting at the top of our lungs that so-and-so is actually the killer.

Still no solid birthday plans, but I hope to rectify that this weekend.

I also got a new camera and will be putting up more photos of the soon to be 2 year old in all her cuteness. And I don't care what the Gap talent search said, she's The Cutest.

Lil Miss Austin also has a new favorite movie: Dinosaur. We've had it since she was really little. We liked it in the theater so we bought it on DVD and she really never got into it when she was smaller. Lately thought she's been sitting with me and watching the Discovery Channel and really likes when they do Paleontology programs. She's also fond of the giant green godzilla on the Mangia Pizza truck we pass by on our way to school. So I figured I'd put in the DVD to test my new surround sound setup. Man, she freaked. It was the coolest thing she's seen since we got her that giant plush Elmo a year or so ago. Now you can forget Wiggles, Rollie Pollie Ollie, Spongebob, Elmo. She wants to watch Dinosaur.

Gotta love it.

15.4.03

Hello, this is Mr. Austin. I'm hesitant to post here, but since it's relatively quiet I suppose my thoughts won't impede much.

We're readying for Mrs. Squiggles' 2nd birthday party coming up in May. Of course the theme will be Spongebob, and there will be cakes and balloons and party favors and possibly a piƱata. I'm looking forward to it probably more than most. The only problem is, I don't know who her friends are. Does a 2 year old have friends? She knows people at school, she knows them by name in fact. When I pick her up I always ask her who people are and she shouts their name as best she can (Jashon=Jackson, Bre-an=Brendan, etc.) So this will be more like last year in that we invite people that have kids for the sake of having kids there. I think to have a birthday party for a kid and only invite your friends would be weird and a little selfish. But honestly, I don't know that she'd know the difference or even remember. I know that recently, we had 4 kids at our house and the backyard was pack full of fun and chasing the dog and swinging and sliding and general "Hey look at me!" I hope to recapture that but the kids we're inviting are all roughly Rowan's aga and are just now learning to run, walk, talk in sentances. Am I forcing the issue by bringing together kids that don't know each other for the sake of having kids?

Mrs. Austin had the idea of inviting her friends from school, but I had to shoot it down because I don't know who her friends are. I would feel bad as well inviting only a select group of kids, leaving the rest to wonder why they didn't get invited. (Like she's that popular, that kids are just waiting for their invitation like some Charlie Brown clones or something.) So without inviting an entire class of 20 kids, I guess we'll be left with the ones we know but she may not.

In the end it really only matters to me. Until she's 4 or 5 and older, she's not going to know enough to want certain people over. She's only recently asking to see Grandpa and Grandma (I'll let all 48 of you decide which ones she's talking about) and her uncle and new aunt. I'm sure it's just a matter of time before she'll start asking to play with neighboor kids and if we can go see a certain relative, but that's another year away.

A year that will just fly by like the first 2 have.

31.3.03

So here it is folks. The new Life in Austin page. Welcome to it and brace yourselves for new and improved entries. Mr. and Mrs. Austin have been busy lately what with all the deaths and weddings lately but we promise to get you some fresh stalking material real soon. Honest. I'm shooting for updates once a week but probably more like once a month. This is, of course, depending on who kicks the bucket next so keep your fingers poised on those rosaries.

So a funny thing happened on the way to the Circle the other day. Mr. Austin's mom sent him an email asking if our darling little crab apple princess celebrates Easter. Not knowing exactly how to respond he forwarded the email to me. I composed this bad ass email back that he butchered all to hell. It was all about where Easter came from (not what you'd think) and how we celebrate the original holiday Ostara. It was poetic and eloquent and all flowery and stuff. His email back to her was (I swear) two lines. Thanks baby! Glad to see he can sum up a major religious holiday in 14 words or less. To be fair, I'm sure he could sum up The Great Guinness Toast the same way. Or maybe the origination of The Incredible Hulk.

Speaking of comics, he's gearing down for a convention in Chicago this summer. He trapped me the other night out by the garbage can and fired away a list of things he needs done before July. Poor thing. He's been trying to talk to me about this for something like 6 months now. It isn't that I'm more interested in (anything) something else. Its just that I can barely keep up with my own drama to remember his. He's all excited about it though. I wonder if I should wait until a week before and tell him that we can't afford for him to go. It'd be fun to see his head explode. I'm evil that way.

The bluebonnets are back. Woo-Hoo! I'm such a Texas girl y'all. I could be Sandy Squirrel but I'd never leave Austin for Bikini Bottom. Squidward weirds me out too much. Plus, I can't make a lasso in the shape of Sponge Bob. We all have our faults.

We went skiing in Colorado about a month or so again. Mr. Austin finally got up on skis. How do you live your entire life surrounded by snow and mountains and never go skiing? It is beyond me. Anyway, he loved it. Bastard is better than me! Of course, it was only my second time, but still! We got this one picture where I swear he was smiling so hard he must have gotten a cramp. I love going up to Denver. Built in baby sitters!! We totally abused the hell out of his dad and step mom. I felt bad, but not bad enough to not leave her. I miss that about not having any older relatives in town. All my friends always get to go out and remember why they got married in the first place because the grandparents are close by. Not us. We just sit here and look at each other across the dinner table trying to remember who that other person is and why on earth we are living together. Then we look at our little girl and remember why. Self defense. If we weren't married one of us would have to try to raise her alone. Oh hell no! I'm all about tag-team parenting. What? She poured yogurt on her head? Not it! What? She's drinking poopy bath water again? Not it! And why does she poop in the bath tub anyway? I'm convinced it is so that she can watch mommy's face contort and daddy get all red trying not so swear.

All right kids, that's all for now. Happy Hour calls. Keep your horns up and heads down.


5.2.03

The Terrible Twos and Moving Right Along

Rowan's not quite 2 but I can start to see what people are talking about with the tantrums and the attitudes. She's been testing our boundaries for about 6 months now and exerting her own individuality. I'm sure it will get more prevalent as we approach 2 and 3 years old, by that time she'll be able to communicate better and understand more and hopefully that will die down. Until she's a teenager anyway.



So not much more to say about that, I just took a bunch of pictures last night and wanted to get one or two of them up. I'm also mentioning that this site is growing to the point that one page hit per day and Geocities shuts it down, so I'm planning on moving all to my comic book page in a arduous, painfull process that may involve dissolving this page altogether and starting over. I'm going to keep all the pictures of course, they being a great chronicle of Rowan's growing up, but there's just too much here, it's too spread out, and it's too big for a free site anymore. There may not be room over on the comics page either, but I'll have to test that out. I honestly don't know how many people visit here so it's hard to take that into account, whether to foot the bill for another page or not.



With that being said, I'm also going to try an reinstate some more current entries into AutoNeurotica and the Life In Austin section. Cheryl and I haven't done a whole lot that requires many updates, the holidays and family responsibilites sapping our play funds (and frankly, pictures and stories of us going to the movies probably isn't going to thrill audiences) so while I'll try to keep some content in there, don't expect it all to be Pulitzer material. And the teacher section is a slow bit too, I haven't had anything from The Teacher in a while, but that will also be moving over. I'm sure the page will get a new look, new navigation, new everything. I'm even considering doing a weekly comic strip about something. I was thinking either Parenting, Sci-Fi geekness, Comic Book geekness, Tech Support jobs or all of the above. I don't have the time, manpower or funds to make this a hot, topic rich, all in one search engine, trivia, webhosting, wallpaper, news feed kinda site, but I try to keep it entertaining. So, look for some changes and I promise to keep it updated here.




4.2.03

Simmah down nah.

So I'm going to turn 30 this year, in about 5 months. Things have started to creep around my head as this stigmatic age approaches, and it's not just my hairline. I'm starting to compare myself to my parents more and more. Before it was just I thought I had sounded like my mom or said something like my dad, but lately it's more esoteric. I've started wondering what they were thinking when they were my age, how evolved were they mentally and emotionally and socially. I mean, I'm 29 and I watch Dragonball Z and collect Star Wars Lego sets and play video games. Was my dad doing things like this in 1984? I know there weren't the video games back then like today, but surely there was Saturday morning cartoons.

I think the big thrust of this is understanding myself as a grown up but with this feeling mentally of a child. It's both a benefit and a detriment to be in this flux state, to be old and have the experience, but still "young at heart" and not use your wisdom as you should. I don't like worrying about 401ks and insurance and how much equity is in my house and what tax bracket I'm in. I'd rather draw more and write in here and play with Rowan and go to a movie. Yes it's not fiscally wise, but who cares? I don't. I worry about it just enough to motivate me into helping Cheryl with the bills, but 2 hours later I've lost it again and I'm looking for the next escape. Most of my friends are younger, now that I've moved to Texas. When I was in Colorado, I was among the younger members of the group. So this age is starting to wear me around the edges and I'm starting not to look good.

It will repeat itself I'm sure when Rowan is my or Cheryl's age. She'll compare herself to us, just as we do now. Cheryl is always asking if she's acting like her parents, and it's always in a negative way. I do the same thing, her parents do the same thing. No one wants to turn out like their parents, even though their folks might be good people. There are a lot of qualities I'd like from my parents, but all you can end up seeing is the negativity. So just like me, Rowan will be worried that she'll grow up with a temper and avoidance of conflict issues, or control issues, depending on what parent she emulates more. Hopefully she'll grasp early that I'm just as mortal and fallible as any other human and she'll just love me for me no matter how many times I've replayed Star Wars X-Wing Alliance.

27.1.03

Bella Karolyi would be proud.

21 months now and she's down summersaults. She actually did one a few months ago, but lately wouldn't do another one without asking for help. It was pretty pathetic, she would put her head on the ground and start to tip over, but because her leg/head ratio is still that of a baby, it's hard to push over that head and roll onto the back. She can do it, but I'm constantly worried about her little neck snapping while she's balanced like a break dancer on her head.

One a slightly more somber note, I've decided to quit smoking (or at least try.) I was making dinner with Cheryl a few days ago and a sharp pain hit me somewhere below my rib cage. No radiated pain down the left arm, no shortness of breath, no nausea. It just hurt and wore me out. Now I'm freaked out about every little pain I have thinking it's going to be the last one. It's my biggest fear in life currently, that I won't be around for Rowan as she grows older. I'm sure there's a line when you have to say, "Ok, I don't need to be around for her anymore" like when they're 20 or so, maybe younger. But these next 15 years or so, I really want to be there. REALLY! The fact that I might not be because of a freak car wreck or heart attack or electrical mishap shakes my core to the foundation.




I'm sure to other parents this comes as no surprise, you want to be there for your kids as long as you can and are able to, but, you don't want them to die before you, making your duty 100% complete. You were there as long as they needed you, period. They don't need you anymore. Right now, if I were to kick off, I don't think Rowan would remember me or know I was gone. She's a bright kid, brighter than others I'm sure, but even still, she's not 2 yet. I don't remember what I was doing around that age. If one of my parents were removed from my life, I don't know that I'd have many memories of them. I don't want her to not know who I am, and I don't want to miss her growing up.


The thing that frightens me most is that it may be too late. Smoking for a good many years, not eating really well for those same years. I have more caffeine in my blood that white blood cells. Then throw in concerns about random brain hemorrhaging and you've got a perfect reason for acid reflux drug research. I'll worry about stupid shit like that until I've actually given myself whatever I'm worrying about. For such a "let it go" kinda guy, I'm a horrible hypochondriac. Now it's no longer that I think I'm going to die, it's that I really have a reason to live.




13.1.03

It's notepad time.

Seriously, I need to write down the ideas I have at 11 o'clock at night so this page doesn't start filling up with blathering rants on how wicked cool my kid is compared to the rest of the world. Luckily I had some backup in the form of The Haircut.



Rowan got her first haircut about a week ago. She was constanly pushing her hair out of her face AND trying to avoid all hair clips, bobs, pins, crimps, scrunchies and barrets. Her state of bliss seemed to come with wearing this striped knit cap and we just couldn't let her go around like that in public without making up some excuse about how her patriarcal DNA was to blame and we're hoping she can lead a normal life. So we got a few snips in while Spongebob was on.

We were both a little leary about it, although it was Cheryl doing the cutting while I sat acting very partisan to the whole episode. Contrary to what I thought, she didn't care much about the whole business. She's pretty hip on washing her own face and hands, helping getting dressed, and holding still while you put her hair up, so this probably didn't seem like the catastrophe we'd thought it would be. I was prepared for screaming and running with scissors while we tried to convince her that it wouldn't hurt (much like those shots at the doctors, which do hurt, so I can see her point) but that never happened. In the end, it took about 30 mins to make 2 cuts. Cheryl was more freaked out that Rowan was. Very gunshy about making her child look like Boo Radley, I can also see her point. My artistic sense would have kept me snipping until it was straight, and having never cut a toddlers hair, would have resulting in a bald girl, eek.



As you can see it didn't turn out bad at all. In fact, where before, her in pigtails was merely adorable, it's now severe enough to rule the world. Seriously, it's cute as shit and I'm not afraid to say it. It's also a sad day, like most are with a fledgling human on board. This is just another sign that she's not a baby, another milestone on her way to independent person. Cheryl wants her hair to be long, like her mother's. She's got a good genetic combination for some killer strands, so we'll see if the Crystal Gayle approach yeilds fruit or not.

On a developmental note, let's just say sometimes I wish she was confined to a bouncy chair again. Lately, we've become the bouncy chairs and it's anothe reason my parents are loving hearing about it. I'll try to remember what it was I was going to write for real and get to it later.

8.1.03

My kid can beat up your kid.

So I often talk with other parents about their kids. It never starts that way though. It always starts with "How was your weekend" or "Did you see this movie" and it always boils down to, "Well MY kid can read sanscrit and she was potty trained at 13 months." Is it vain to talk like that? I'm horribly proud of Rowan, just as my friends are proud of their kid. Even if our or their child ISN'T Mozart or Bobby Fischer, we still marvel at their accomplishments.

But that still doesn't fill the void in long distance calls when all the stories have been exhausted and you're left with "So what have YOU been up to?" You can usually tell the people who really have something to talk about because their conversations lack the retelling of events. What's your job now? Are you doing ok? How's your wife/husband/significant other? Did you get snow? I feel bad for them and I feel bad for myself. Are we at the age when it doesn't matter what we do anymore? Are our children now the masks we wear for the world to see? I can start to understand why little league sports are so big now, if the child does well, people will think well of the parents. That's rather deductive and hardly fair, but emotional attachment and social plays rarely are.

With that in mind I think parents should make a concerted effort to really try to get to know your friends more. I realize you have your hands tied with children, but if you can get a friend to open up to you with some bit of information that has nothing to do with their offspring, it's very likely they will cherish that exchange more and something more concrete can be form out of it. If not, continue to spew facts and data about your sons and daughters and you'll at least create a fan club for them and some possible baby sitters.

I don't want to sound insensitive about this, but sometimes I just feel bad for people that I tell Rowan's accomplishments to, especially those who don't have kids. To them, I might as well be talking about another hobby or ideal or genre of movie they have no desire to be involved in and it's rather alienating. So to be fair, since I can't always control who has kids and who doesn't, why not play to the other side. It's not a good side or bad side, and I don't want them to feel like they are less for not having kids, and that's the point. It's like ruining the movie if you talk about it too much.

2.1.03

Should old acquaintance be forgot...

Hey! Happy New Year! Goodbye 2002. I can't say last year was a bad year at all. It's come to my attention that this page is actually read by some people so a partial resolution this year will be to keep it updated. We will probably be spending some loot to host it somewhere so we can put up as many pictures as possible.



A lot of good things happened and very few bad things happened. It was the Even Steven Palindrome Year. 2003 looks to be just as promising. Rowan will officially be 2 in 5 months, although she's acting like a 2 year old now. We cleaned up our backyard after a few weeks (months) of neglect and were pretty impressed that she was able to climb up and slide down the slide her self. She also loves swinging but isn't tall enough or spatially aware enough to pump her legs. She smiles and says "wow" all the same.



Last weekend, a friend of mine brought his kid over for a play date. He needed ot give his wife a break from all the holiday hosting she had done so the two of them came over for some good ol' fashion playing with blocks. We actually watched some Wiggles and went to the park as well. This kid, Noah, just turned 3 and it's amazing how much a year difference makes. He responds to requests with actual words, he knows songs word for word, he knows how to ask for things. Just a year younger, Rowan is still in the low double digit vocabulary, cries rather than asks for things and still talks gibberish. It's conversational gibberish, so don't get me wrong. Maybe I need to take a correspondence course.

Another things I'm waiting for is attitude, personality. I know its there and perhaps I can't see it. We have another friend who's 3 year old is just a little bad-ass. He's always sort of calm and aloof and then every one in a while will go completely wacko and start talking nonsense. It's like Jack Nicholson as a tyke. I know Rowan is a happy kid; cheerful, gregarious, and always laughing. But I had always thought that all kids were like that. I'm coming to find out that they're not. A lot of kids are more mellow and even tempered (relatively speaking, not even tempered like you and me.) I expect that Rowan's personality at this stage is a good blend of her parents. She's got my childlike fascination with the world and social prescence and Cheryl's love of life and willingness to just laugh out loud. It's better than other trait mixes I'm sure.

I'm eager for her to grow up so I can see who she'll be.




2.11.02

"...I wann bang on these drums all day."

As a parent, I have this pattern starting to develop in my behavior toward Rowan. You know those stories you hear from friends and the media where a parent tries too hard to make their child do things they wish they had done as kids, like play football or be a cheerleader or something? That's how I feel sometimes and I'm afraid of it. I think that if I could teach her something now, early, she could make use of it later in life and not have to spend time learning and relearning skills. A few good examples are hockey and drums. I really like watching hockey, I enjoyed what few times I played hockey, but I became a fan of the game late in life, I didn't skate on a frozen pond when I was 3 years old, so skating and the game weren't second nature. With Rowan I'm tempted to start her in something early and hope that she can carry that through her days.




But with what? Drums? Music in general? Gymnastics? Soccer? Art? It's easy to think that because she likes the sound of a drumstick against a tom drum that she'll be the next John Bonham? Just because she likes furiously scribbling on my sketch pad, should I call Stan Lee and have him open up a position drawing The Silver Surfer? I don't think it'd be a good idea to hold out hope on any of these things. But coming from an artistic family, and having Cheryl's family have such a musical history, I'm constantly looking for some hidding talent that I can nudge ever so slightly, even if it is errantly.


That's not to say she won't decide she likes to do something as she gets older. I'm also not even hazarding the impression that my parents weren't the same way, but I just floundered too much to make any extra curicular activity stick. I often wonder if my parents wanted me to be an artist or a singer or an astronaut or if they had more humble and noble wishes like making sure I was always on time to school and didn't get sick a lot. It's hard having lofty aspirations while keeping your feet planted firmly on the ground. It's also hard to have your feet on the ground while chasing after a 18 month old with your drum stick.




21.10.02

Hallelujah!

Yes, yes. Two entries in less than a week, what is the world coming to? But believe me when I say we have big news. Rowan took her first potty in a potty chair! Huzzah!! Now, I realize that this isn't a photo op, and even if it were there wouldn't be many people super keen on viewing any snapshots. However, since this is such a momentous occasion, I feel the need to convey to you how happy we are with the event. I will therefore express the events via interpretive dance...

...4th position...

...and JUMP...

...and relax.

So you can plainly see what a monumental occasion this is. It also marks the beginning of the end as far as what we need to do for Rowan to make sure she grows into a well-balanced human being. Yes it's human invention to sit on a porcelain bowl to vacate waste rather than just let fly in the woods, but hey, do as the Romans do. It's not like we're teaching her the finer points of the Republican party or anything.



I do feel a bit misty eyed, though. Can't help it. As (oddly) excited as we both were last night, I couldn't help thinking immediately of all the things I have left to teach her. All the FEW things left she actually needs from me. I think in terms of "If she were left in a strange part of town, could she survive." Now? Probably not. In 5 months? Maybe. She can ask for things, cry when only hurt or hunger. Walk. Soon she won't need diapers or help changing clothes. She needs us less and less and while today is exciting, it's sad. She's no longer a baby, she's a little girl.



But I have to say, when the day comes that she no longer needs diapers will be a happy day indeed. By choosing cloth diapers, we relegated ourselves to a seeming eternity of wash. It's not as wicked gross as you might think, but it's still a lot of laundry. I can't help but think that what we did was in Rowan's best interest, and it was the right call. The fact still remains that we will be without a major task and that can only mean one thing...

...more time for video games.




18.10.02

User your words.

Just an update. Rowan is almost 18 months old and she's pretty much able to repeat any 1-2 syllabel word you throw at her. She's also got a few 3 syllabyl words under her belt. It's amazing how fast she picks things up, the next trick is to have her use them when she wants something rather than saying "uh huh huh huh huh waaahhh!" Right now her repeating is much like a parrot mimicking speech and I'm waiting for the crisp clear "I love you daddy but you're an idiot" to tumble from her mouth.

Anyway, here's what she knows now.

Words Rowan knows.

Hi
Hello (heh o)
No
Head
Eyes (eyesh)
Nose
Ear
Hair
Knees
Foot/Feet
Shoe
Sock
Up
Down
Back
Hinnie
Blanket (benkie)
Pooh (the bear)
Uh oh
Hot (hot? with waving hands)
Hat (sounds like hot)
Diaper (bahpoo)
Wiggle (wih wih)
Elmo (loudest most clear word she has)
Ernie
Oscar (awku)
Baby
Bert (boit)
Belt (boit)
Bird (boit)
Seat
Moon
Stars
Cloud
Sky
Eat (eat?)
Bath
Nite Nite
Octopus
Happy (happy? to you)
More (more?)
Milk (milk?)
Water (wawa)
Cheerio (chee oh)
Thank you (dih tsew)
Walk (walk?)
Mommy (mommy?)
Daddy
cold
tree
flower
bug
car
truck
off (as in the light switch)
Bye-bye
tofu
cracker
juice
I love you (yuv u)

Most of the alphabet

Dog (oo oo)
Bird (bee bee)
Cow (mooo)
Frog (reebeet)
Cat (maow)
Sheep (baa)
Duck (cahk cahK)
Airplane (wssh with arms out)
Sleeping (shh, finger to lips)
Up-side-down (tries to stand on her head)
signs-
more
pretty
please
thank you
daiper

can give hugs and kisses, high fives (and gives high fives back)

1.10.02

"...the tooth...the tooth..."

Rowan had her first major bloody accident last night. We're at a local eatery that was low on high chairs so Rowan ended up sitting with us at a booth. Well, sitting is a relative term. Cheryl was sitting, I was sitting, Rowan was climbing. No booster, no chair. She had to stand in order to reach the table to eat. After a few minutes of her coating the vinyl with cottage cheese and peaches, the slick surface caused her to slip and plant her little baby mouth right on the edge of the table. It was horrible. I've never seen a baby crying with a mouth full of blood and I never want to again.

We rushed to bathroom (both of us, ladies room, convention be damned) and proceded to swab her mouth with wet paper towels to see how bad the damage was. No lost teeth, no loose teeth, no major gum damage. We still went to the emergency room, then left after about 45 minutes of sitting there. It boiled down to a split lip on the inside that no one could have done much about anyway, but the desire is to do a head x-ray to make sure nothing is chipped, cracked or fractured.




It's gut wrenching to watch a almost-toddler humbled like that. It really makes you want to hold them forever, lock them in a bubble and not let the world ever EVER touch them. The proprieters of the restaurant we're all talking about giving us a free dinner, seeing if we needed anything, you know, basic CTA so we don't sue. All I wanted to do was remove myself from the situation. The child was already hurt, there's nothing they could do to fix it short of paying for her years of therapy that will undoubtedly result. She'll never be able to eat at a salad bar again, total fear of vegetables, not to mention booth seats. Cheryl turned into, as she called it, The Momma Lion. Even I was fair game when her baby was injured. Teeth were bared, the owners were lucky she was already buckled in or there would have been more than Rowan plasma spilled that day. Not being the conflict seeker that I am, I wanted to get my family away from there as fast as possible. Cheryl asked how I can not be mad at them for not having enough chairs. I am mad at them, incensed even. They should have a high chair for every table in there. If not, say "we don't have a high chair, would you like to wait?"


To be honest, I don't know why I didn't get as animated as society would have allowed. I suppose I'm a coward, I just don't want to be in a fight. When the owner and the staff approached our car as we were leaving, I could feel the blood boil in my ears and all I could think to do was leave before I started punching people. They caused my child pain by their ineptitude and they deserved to feel the same pain. A good bloodied set of teeth oughta do it.




16.9.02

Spare the child, spoil the rod.

I had something pithy to write here, thought of it this weekend, but alas the Monday doldrums have wiped those ideas clean. I'm just going to type until I start boring myself.

As Rowan starts understanding words more and more, less and less of her actions are dictated by instinct. She now reasons, she is starting to understand actions and reactions and consequences. She's testing our limits more and more. She knows what a diaper is, when it needs attention and where to go in the house to get that attention. She knows what up and down is by her physical location and other objects location. She even gets confused by the hallway light switches. You know the kind that you can have in the "on" position but have to push down to get the light to come on because there's two. She'll grab hold of the switch and look at the light, the switch is already on, but the light isn't. She'll sit there and grunt and push with all her might, but she won't be able to get the light to come on. So while she's able to think now, she's not able to think outside the box yet. Everything is still pretty linear.



She's also starting to carry on conversations with you. The words don't mean anything, but you can tell the pattern is there. It starts with dada or mama, you say what, she'll speak in chinese/pig latin for a short burst, you say, oh really, she says "yeah," then bye bye as she closes the door on your face. It's unbearably cute and pretty fantastic from an anthropomorphic stand point. She's evovling to fit inside the only norm she knows, her parents. We're shaping how she talks, walks, and thinks. It really hit home lately that I'm the catalyst for how she ends up in life. I'm sure most people realize this to a certain extent. But I'm talking about something more esoteric, less corporial. I'm talking about paths of thought to conclusion and the lilt of a voice and mannerism of understanding. It's more than just what you say and how you discipline and what music you listen to and what shows you watch and what games you play. It's your posture and your response time and the pressure of your touch and how you hold a fork and what sounds you make when you hug (some people squeek, some grunt, some sigh, you never know.)



Yes your DNA and your partner's DNA make the child look a certain way, and in some cases act a certain way (for instance, my grandma, my dad and his brother, me and my brother and now Rowan, all scratch our arms in our sleep. Only weird because I don't know anyone else who does that.) But if you take that child and put them with a different family, what you have is someone who doesn't look like those people, but acts like those people. It's fairly obvious, but like I said, I had a great idea to write about, but it was lost somewhere.




9.9.02

One Year

Cheryl said something the other day that struck me as odd. Rowan had just looked up at her from under a table, put her head on her knee and said "Hi." Cheryl almost started crying and said, "I don't have enough room in my heart for all the love I have for her." Fair enough. I'm sure a lot of parents say that. Most of us feel that as well. You just look at that little cherub face with those innocent, impressionable eyes and think, "You are a creature of magic and wonder and I'm so happy you chose me." I'm not as vocal about it as my lovely wife, she tends to speak her mind and emotions, and I tend to get ulcers. But it made me think a bit on the word and idea of Love. We were talking about having a 2nd monster this last weekend while traipsing around the Houston Zoo, and later when she said that I started wondering if I'd have enough room in my heart for another? Would it be fair to try to love them as much as Rowan? Is it fair even to think such thoughts? Now I know you're all saying that's heartless and cold and how could I even think that I'd love a second child less that the first. But think about it, if you're the 6th or 7th child, looking back, did it seem you were pretty much left to do whatever you wanted? Did it seem like no one was around? Did it seem like no one cared? I think logically you do throw a lot of your love and emotion and energy into a first child and it degrades after that. Humans just don't have the staying power.




Now I'm not saying I'm going to let our second child run around with a loaded weapon, scissors and an open milk container, swearing as they careen naked around the red light district, but I'm wondering how much actual love I'll be able to give them. I'm sure it will be considerable. I'm afraid of doing the Rowan Comparison Dance, especially if the second is a boy. There will be no end to "Man, Rowan never cried like this." "Rowan was always so happy, why isn't this one?"


It may not seem like it, but we are all capable of doing that now. We have a beagle that no body is really happy with right now. We're trying but it's very hard. Chimaera is very loving and friendly and protective, but she's also crazy and hyper and rambunctious and she sheds all over the place. We're afraid of admitting that she's just not our type and maybe needs a new family. I compare her to Rowan all the time and that's not fair. There's no way Chimaera will ever be able to respond to "What does a cow say" with "Moo." If I asked her that, her little ears would prick up and her head would cock to the side and that'd be it. Then she'd try to jump on me and probably knock something over. Does that mean I don't love her? I don't know. It's hard to admit you don't love something anymore. It's hard to admit you may not love something as much. It's hard to admit that you may in fact not have enough love in your heart for all the things in your life that need it. I'm truly afraid something will get pushed out...




27.8.02

Sick Bags

I wonder how little humans think of traveling? Do they know they are miles and miles from home? Or is home to them just being near mom and dad? Do they feel the passage of time and space like we do and are just unable to communicate it or is it all just pops and buzzes until they get another sippy cup full of milk?

I think of these things when we plan trips to far off lands. It's not like we go on vacation a lot, but even road trips to San Antonio gets me thinking about baby-time and toddler-time and how they relate to adult-time. I also think about how jumping in the car and heading to New Orleans, at one point a grand idea, is now nearly out of the question. It's not that Rowan travels poorly, it's that I have no patience in packing for these excursions. I give Cheryl enough guff for packing 12 pairs of socks for a weekend in Houston. I nearly blow a gasket when I think of all the kid stuff we have to add to it. It's not for the patient or weak of heart. Trips to Houston have evolved from cloth diapers to disposable because lugging around 20 dirty diapers in a grocery sack was starting to get hazardous to our sense of hygene.



It's not to say that all trips are bad, but the reason you go on vacation is to get away from it all. Somehow taking a diaper bag and suitcases and toys and books and toiletries to me isn't really getting away, just taking it somewhere else. I'm just transporting a lot of stuff to another geographic location, and I hope to hell it fits in with the decor and outlets. Getting away would be winning that vacation show that doesn't tell where you're going and you can't take much with you. That's getting away.



But guess what, I can't do that. Cheryl can't do that. Well we could, but only for a short time. It's not like either of us can just pack up and leave the familial unit for two weeks and jaunt about in the Mediterranean. But it's part of being a parent, and sometimes the little trips to Sea World or the zoo is enough to keep you sane while at the same time running around like a crazy person making sure your pride and joy isn't getting her fingers bitten off. Watching a child learn and grow and explore is a kind of vacation. You stop being so clinical and logical and responsible and just open your mind to the wonders that surround you.




16.8.02

Miniature Evolution

People may wonder what it's like always writing about one certain thing, one person. I can hear it now in an email from someone surfing in on a whim, "Don't you get tired of constantly recounting such small events? Don't you do anything else in your life?" The answers of course are No and Yes. Both Cheryl and I have plenty to do. A lot of it isn't fun, but it doesn't necessarily involve Rowan either. We have our hobbies and our interests that we do our best to make time for on a daily basis. Sometimes we have time, sometimes we run out. But if you pause for a moment and think about it, wouldln't you want to be there for every advancement your child takes? I was beside myself when she said "wow," her mouth got really small, then really big, then really small again and this soft timbre poured out of it in a gentle little "wow." Rowan has a whispery voice, almost gravely, like she was a womb-smoker, and to think that I'll miss one new word just terrifies me. Have you ever heard a parent tell another parent that their child just said a new word or did a new task or action? The parent that missed out has this tone of voice and change of posture like they missed the only day of sunshine in 200 years.



Let me tell you, it's worth it. I've never played a video game or read a comic or have seen a movie (with one or two exceptions) that make me feel as good as watching Rowan learn something new. It's like a drug, I want her to evolve and evolve exponentially until she's merely a creature of light, barely existing in our plane of reality. In between the crying and the whining and the tantrums are long periods of laughing and giggling and monkey-see-monkey-do. And from one monkey to another, it's just priceless. Right now she can probably say between 10-15 words and understands what they are. A few of them are crystal clear, others a bit mushy. (We know "schle" means "fish" because that's what she says when she points to a fish. I don't think F's are quite picked up yet.)

So it comes as no surprise then that I find myself spending huge amounts of time talking to, tickling and tormenting Rowan. I don't mean torment like hang in the iron maiden and start pulling chains, but I like testing her boundaries, just like she's starting to test ours. I like to see how much poking she can take before she melts down. I like hiding things from her until she either loses interest or starts swinging. It's only fair. She needs to learn that the world is not about her and when she pushes my envelope, I'm right there to push back. I need to know what I can expect from her as a person, that's how we learn to relate. Some may think I'm mean, but I've got her best interests at heart with most every action I take and I'll pit that against anyone who says they're a good parent but don't know what makes their kids mad.




9.8.02

What did I just say?

It's come to my attention that it's really hard to discipline kids. I'm just as convinced that Mrs. Squiggles is a special case, as she seems to want to laugh when you discipline her. Seriously, Cheryl and I cannot find a way to make her understand that her actions are incorrect according to societal norms. We can't punish her because she thinks it's a game. We've tried time outs, spankings, ear pulling, hand swatting, toy removing, scolding, ignoring, and even stern leanings on with about as much success as Martha Stewart selling IMClone the day before. It's just not working. Frankly we're getting a little concerned that our daughter is a masochist and loves pain. Funny thing to say about a 15 month old but I can't image any other reason.

The bad thing is that she's at the age where she knows that there are reactions to her actions. She knows that hitting a bright orange star makes it beep a tinny rendition of "Twinkle Twinkle" (which I just figured out is the same tune as the Alphabet Song. Just never put the two together, but that's another story...) She’s just not at the stage that she understands that her actions have consequences, not just reactions. She's still at the cause/effect level. So it's hard to teach her this. "Yes when you bite something it makes your teeth and jaw feel good. But you can't bite people because it hurts them." Do you think a 15 month old would understand that? Well don't because she doesn't.



So it's hard to teach them right from wrong, it's also hard to understand when they reach the teachable age. When will they understand these things? Also, will it ever stop making my heart ache when I take a toy away from her and she sticks that bottom lip out and makes that face like "How DARE you remove that object of amusement and pacification. My only recourse now, dear father, is to make you feel like a heel." Commence the barrage of salt water pain.



I'm sure parents have grappled with this for ages; how, when and to what extent you should discipline your child. But why does it seem like we were better kids? Why does it seem like our parents had it easier? We weren't bad kids were we? Did we bite other children? Did we slap our parents in the face then laugh like a clown just farted? Did we collapse in a heap when we didn't get our way?

Of course we did, silly. That's why grandparents are so happy.