Editorial Retraction

Well, it happened. I knew some day I'd upset someone with what I write here. It ideally was a place to document Little Miss Austin's journey through her childhood. We don't do a lot of home movies, we take a crapload of pictures though. So I thought it'd be a good place to write stuff down.

The problem is, folks, that after about 2 years old, the leaps and bounds just aren't as common. Parents will back me up on this. Children are amazing creatures. Their ability to learn and adapt and grow is nothing short of miraculous. But lately, and I'm not FAULTING anyone here, but lately the milestones just aren't happening every four hours and it leaves a journal to wallow in blankness for days upon days. "Oh the idle brain is the Devil's playground, trouble! Folks right here in River City. Trouble with a capital T and that rhymes with P and that stands for Pool!"

Don't know where that came from.

The point is, lately I've had to come up with filler, and I don't have much to talk about other than what's rattling around in my excuse for a brain. I could bore you people with talk of what I'm doing with my drawing or what I plan on doing with some comic book scripts or what happened on West Wing, but that would be pretty dule, wouldn't it? Isn't it then more interesting to delve into the depths of what really drives a person? Understand their motivations? Gleen a little insight into what makes them tick, what makes them get up each day?

No? You say you just want more pictures of LMA doing cute things?

Yeah I do too.

Well, it's not totally current, but it'll have to do.

Jibba Jabba

So we're planning a trip to Denver to see our favorite comedian Eddie Izzard. Actually, I don't know for sure if Mrs. Austin has a favorite comedian, but it's probably Eddie, maybe Ellen. Entertainment-wise, I'm really only sure she likes Sex in the City and West Wing, Willie Nelson and Bob Schneider. Everything outside of that is a guess or an anthropomorphic assumption that she likes what I like, which is pretty impossible to believe because what I like is pretty much crap. [ed. -True. He likes crap. Total crap. He's so not kidding. He tried to let LMA watch a violent anime movie the other day and I almost had to set up the therapy session right then.]

So yeah, we're going to Colorful Colorado and honestly I really wish we weren't. Let me explain before you get your mouse cord completely around your neck. I wish Eddie was coming to Austin, it would just make life easier. We've got just enough time off and just enough funds to make this mad dash 1200 miles north, cram in as much family face time, sight seeing and event doing as we can before whisking back to Austin in time for school. I guess it's a vacation in the strictest sense; we're leaving our home, spending money, taking time off work, going somewhere else. But it doesn't FEEL like a vacation. [ed.- its a vacation. shut up. i'm totally excited about it and all he can do is whine that there aren't going to be free drinks w/ umbrellas and girls in bikinis.] I have this overactive imagination that dictates vacation as a Corona commercial. No stress, sand, surf and alcohol that flows freely while steel drums drip their lovely, haunting melodies in the background. As it is now, here's what I'm thinking off. Early flight, is the airline going to give us crap because LMA is over 2, where are we spending the night, will we have enough money, are both my mom and dad going to be equally appeased by our presence, will either need more time, will we need more time? [ed. Notice how he hasn't mentioned that we are going up there for our anniversary? Anyone want to lay odds that he forgets this important date too?]

The last few months have been just choked with these weekend spurts. Quick drive to the beach, quick drive to the swimming hole, quick drive to Sea World. I think it all started with our Boston trip. Suddenly we're Power Vacationers. There's no lounging around and relaxing, it's all BAM BAM BAM, get your check list marked off and get home. Fly to Chicago, cram in a convention, don't even get out of the hotel for 3 days. Fly to Denver, see mom day one, dad day two, friends day three, go home. [ed. he whines a lot doesn't he? I wonder how many people he is going to piss off with this entry. I wonder if I'm pissing him off by editing this and calling him a whiney-baby. He doesn't mention that half the "power vacations" were his idea. Additionally, I've been trying for a year to get him on a cruise ship but to no avail.]

I'm fondly looking back now on our trip to the Bahamas that was as lazy, food fed, liquored up and sand in the crannies as any trip I've ever taken. There was no rush, no schedule, no need to be anywhere at any time. No juggling over which family members to see when. It was my idea of a vacation. [ed. -again, cruise ship.] Not to down play the fun we've had on our outings within driving distance, or the last minute jaunts. They've produced some seriously memorable photos and keepsakes and, well, memories. It's something fun to do with LMA, and especially being in a large state, there's so much to do and we'll probably never do it all. I just wish I could stretch it out more, make it 10 days instead of 3, a full week instead of 4 hours. Am I being greedy? Probably. And probably a bit slacker...ish..y.

Besides, I don't have much to write lately and not a lot of time to organize pictures. I can't wait to have my own web server so I can post hundreds and hundreds of pictures and film clips and art and what not, depicting our great Texas travels. I have just enough time lately to write this. [ed. - don't thing I didn't notice the blatant attempt here for me to give in to the concept of buying a new computer just so he can post pictures for this website. As if that would lead to more less-whiney entries about the lack of sand in his shorts. Yeah, and I've got a bridge for sale.....]

I've been haggled!

If you're a new parent, take heart. It's only 2 years and some months until you don't have to deal with diapers anymore. I can't tell you the relief we're now feeling that LMA is about 90% potty-trained. She still wears "night panties" to bed (ie pull-ups) but during the day it's just regular underwear and the occassional prancing about with no drawers on, or what I like to call "The Uncle Chipper." It's a true blessing now that no money is spent on disposable clothing anymore. Now we're just working on the regular clothing that we have to buy every 2 months.

Which brings me to a conundrum Mrs. Austin and I have run into. LMA doesn't eat. I mean, she's capable of it, and we see her do it and somewhere in the forgotten worlds of possibility she's finished an entire meal, but for the most part she just drinks milk and water. Now I don't want to panic, I've heard other parents say that toddlers are picky eaters, but LMA is already small as it is. She's still wearing clothing with tags that say 12 mos! I'm a little worried, a little scared. I'm sure nothing is actually wrong with her, but you can never tell right? So every night becomes another bribing routine. "You eat one more beet and you can watch the Muppets." "One more bite of tofu and we'll go play outside." I don't like the fact that I have to bribe my child to get her to do something I think is right or needed. And with that statement, there are scores of grandparents just laughing their asses off. Now that I think about it, a story of me not wanting to eat pot roast comes to mind. I would stuff my face full of meat just to get it off my plate, but I wouldn't actually eat it. So there I sat with chipmunk cheeks just waiting to be excused so I could go spit it all out. Man I didn't like pot roast. Now I'm trying desperately to get this little one to eat her veggies, just praying I don't see pull a Dizzy Gillespe with some broccolli.

Pictures to follow on this. Our latest family outting was in sunny, sandy, surfside Corpus Christi. We decided 10 mins after leaving our house that we were going there. (Planning is not our strong suit, stay tuned from the Eddie Izzard in Denver post.) Both of us are sick with head/chest colds, so what better way to spend a weekend then driving someplace unfamiliar.

Truth be told it was fun. The sudden burst vacations and road trips tend to yield the most enjoyment for us. I'm sure mainly because there's no expectation, no stress from planning and no reason to fight over stuff that may or may not happen. We drove down 35 to San Antonio, stopped a couple times to potty and once in Buda to wait in apparently the only Subway in Texas for 20 mins while Saturday Business Atire Lady decides to haggle over her 27 turkey light sandwiches. We arrive in CC around 4 and just hit the beach running. I'm reminded of another story of me and my younger brother in Florida, seeing the ocean for the first time. Running like gang busters, we pitch into the oncoming surf to be greeting by a mouthful of salt water. Not what I, nor LMA was expecting. Oh the water was warm and delightful. LMA spent her afternoon chasing seaguls, running into then away from the surf and throwing as much sand back into the water as possible. Her 2 year old brain must have thought the water was broken because it was dropping all this dirt along the beach, all she was doing was helping it get it all back.

High point was burying daddy in the sand. We'd buried LMA earlier and that was cute, she giggled. While I was being covered in sand, my upper body already succumbed to the weight of it, I shout that my nose itched, like it always does when you suddenly can't move your hands. Well, Mrs. Austin just laughs and says I'll have to tough it out. Not Lil Miss Austin, she wants to help. Crunch! Face full of sand. Sand in tear ducts, nostrils, molars, ears. I'm sure it didn't occur to her that the hand she wanted to help daddy scratch his nose with was full of sand. A for effort, that's for sure. Lil demon.

Rest of they day was cool. Say a big navy type ship (USS Lexington) from afar, have to wait to go back with my dad cuz he loves that stuff. Ate at Joe's Crab Shack, which I thought was a bit cliche, but we were hungry and not picky and it was my idea so shut up.

I dig my family. I'm glad that even though we have a kid, some times we can pick up and just run off someplace. As much as I love, and could really use a 2 week vacation in Greece, these little weekend adventures are pretty cool.

As soon as I figure out the web site situation, there will be pictures. Oh yes, there will be. Don't try and stop me. I'm a blogger on the edge!!

Lil Miss Austin gets a lot of comparisons to the Olsen twins. Not so much lately but from about 18 months to 25-26 months old, we got a lot of people approaching us with this little tidbit. I could see it for a while; big eyes, sandy blonde hair, puffy cheeks. She was, and still is, a little sprite. Plus being so precocious it's hard to not see a little bit of star power behind her cherub face.

Knowing she was a camera hog (says "cheese" when a camera is in the room) we did actually send a picture to the Gap when they had a "talent" search, realize as we did so it went against the beliefs that we held about not turning our child into a little starlet, the ramifications of such a life not one we'd wish on anyone. But we were swept up in the glow that is our little girl and probably a desire to let the world know just how adorable she is. Parental bias aside, she's just damn cute.

With this in mind, I'd like to set the record straight on the cute factor.



My money is on the girl dialing her agent asking for more press and less nap time.

Just a quick word, polariscomics.com is down and that's actually the host that stores all the photos for this page, so you fine viewers are going to be pictureless for a few days till it's sorted out.

Not much to report otherwise. Couple days of rain, working on the house more, Mrs. Austin started school and then proceeded to get very sick, but she's ok now. Rowan's moved up to the older kids class, not the oldest but one up from where she was. Very exciting.

I had a bunch of pics to show you but it'll have to wait, without them talking about them really doesn't make much sense.

Meow

Meow!

Austin wouldn't be the same without adopting a couple of stray cats.

back to it

Patio Roof is not our friend from Ireland

Now that you've all had a chance to read and probably hear about certain marital issues, I'm going to move back to some regular stuff. Exciting to us, maybe not to others, but just the same it gets its place here.

First off, a quick recap of Chicago for those that don't have our phone number and who we've talked to since last week. Chicago was really great. I can't come up with any other metaphors than that, although I'll do my best to keep you readers entertained. (It was good. That's great dude, click back to Google.) It started out a little odd, the flight to Rosemont was pushed back an hour while we sat on the plane and waited for our flight crew that was delayed in LA. But I had my mp3 player and a book so I was fine. Got into Chicago later than I wanted, had to hang around for a shuttle (Chicago's a big ass airport come to find out) all the while dragging a very heavy portfolio case and a box with all my books in it. Get to the hotel, check in, meet some PJers at the hotel bar where we were gauged on prices for beer and Midwestern tasting quesadias (sorry guys, you have to come to Texas to get good Tex Mex) and then hit the hay, a little drunk, ready to start the convention. Friday was kind of a bust. Other than meeting all the PJers who came and hanging out with Jeremy and his wife and brother in law, the day drug on like a three toed sloth eating peanut butter in the heat of August. Broken up by quite a few smoke breaks and a few trips to the "Expoteria," it was a really long day. Jeremy and I didn't have much to say to each other and ended up staring into space just dying for some foot traffic, conversation or spark of inspiration. That night was spent meeting new people in the bar.

Saturday was awesome. Friday a couple from a cable access channel some distance north of Chicago asked us if we'd do an interview. They were wanting to talk with small press creators, try to get a grass roots look at the big business, such as it is. We said we'd do a short interview, didn't cost us anything and they went off. The next day a camera and a few people show up at our table and really made us look probably more impressive than we deserved. Jeremy was all business and very articulate, I was talking through a haze of cotton mouth and blood-in-the-ear idiodicy. I don't expect to ever see the interview so it doesn't matter. We could have requested a copy, but I think that would have required a "donation." The rest of the day was just as exciting. Jeremy and I decided to actually work together and draw something, so he'd sketch random characters and I'd color them. These mo's sold like hotcakes. That and we offloaded about 20 books, I sold some pieces of finished art and Jeremy's wife got a lot of sketches and photos. It was a good day.

Sunday was more of the same, little less traffic, but still very cool. We got to wander the exhibit floor a bit and see some freaks and cool things. The amount of money put into this event is just staggering when you consider some insiders' views that the industry is dead or that comics are just for kids. Screw them. This place was bigger than most car shows I've been to, and I've been to a few. Made it home safe and sound, a little heavier in the art portfolio as I bought a case and Jeremy donated some boards.

You can see some con pictures here.

I came home and was treated to a good ol' Texas style freak storm. I can't really explain it any better. It wasn't just a thunderstorm, nor was it a tornado, it was somewhere in between. Right on our neighborhood, all the cold air over Texas decided it was going to drop through thousands of feet it what's called a downburst. It has tornado style impact on property because it's moving at up to 70mph. I'll get some damage pics up later, but let's just say it's enough to fell trees, fences and roofing. We sustained some moderate hail damage to car and house and our patio umbrella was shredded. We lost power for about 15 mins, but everyone was ok. So to commemorate the passing of the umbrella, Mrs. Austin and I decide now would be a great time to build that patio cover we'd been threatening to for the past year.

So here it is. It only took about 4 hours to put up, including shopping time for supplies. We had no plan, barely any measurements and just enough moxy to get this thing in place. We didn't even fight. Then we took on the arduous task of trimming back our mesquite tree. Folks, let me tell you, mesquite is the devil's tree. Both MA and I received some thorns in our feet because of this tree so we were more than happy to cut it's damned branches off. I'm pretty close to cutting the whole thing down, but it offers some shade so it stays...for now.

Things to do When Your Husband Forgets Your Birthday

Things to do When Your Husband Forgets Your Birthday


10. Pick a fight at 11:30 p.m.

9. Break all his pencils.

8. Let your child loose on his artwork with a bottle of glue and permanent markers.

7. Consider getting cozy with that divorce lawyer you used to work with.

6. Buy yourself expensive jewlery.

5. Use photoshop to black out his face in every family picture.

4. Subscribe him to that service that calls you to remind you of important dates.

3. Call his mom and tell on him.

2. Cry.

1. Use it as emotional blackmail for the rest of his life.

- Mrs. Austin

Happy Birthday To Me!

Twenty eight years ago Cliff and Sharon had a beautiful baby girl. They reached down and took her tiny hand in theirs and said hello for the very first time. She hasn't let go since.

I love you guys. Thanks for giving me a great start.

-Mrs. Austin

What would Jesus Castillo do?

Texas is not without it's share of stupid shit. Man I love Austin, but we got some uber-winners when it comes to the governing body of this state.

I'm sure most of you across the nation have by now heard about the Dems that have left the state to protest/avoid/delay the special session called by Gov. Perry to work on redistricting. That's national, that's debated, that's up to each person to decide what's right and wrong.

What you probably haven't heard is a little known case dealing with one Jesus Castillo, a comic book retailer in Texas. Castillo was convicted for selling an adult comic to an adult from a store that handles its adult material very carefully. However, the stores proximity to a school and in one counsel's remarks, comics being for kids, the jury ignored expert testimony and followed the trial with a guilty verdict based on an emotional closing argument.

For those with little kids, please cover their ears.

WHAT THE FUCK!!

Here's an excerpt from the close.

"And, again, why are we here? ... This medium, the medium that this obscenity is placed in is done so in an appealing manner to children. Comic books, and I don't care what type of evidence or what type of testimony is out there, use your rationality, use your common sense. Comic books, traditionally what we think of, are for kids. This is in a store directly across from an elementary school and it is put in a medium, in a forum, to directly appeal to kids. That is why we are here, ladies and gentlemen. I want to re-emphasize that the fact that all this smut is out there, does not mean it's acceptable and is decent by our community. We're here to get this off the shelf."

I'd like you to look at two things. First, comics are traditionally for kids. Yes, traditionally, in the 1950's! The average comic book subscriber is now late 20's early 30's, works a steady job and is more often then not married or has kids of their own. Getting a conviction on the opinion that comics are for kids isn't any better than getting a conviction for a Wal-Mart employee found selling an adult video game, rated R movie or firearm to an adult. Where does it stop?

Secondly, the phrase "and I don't care what type of evidence or what type of testimony is out there...use your common sense." What? WHAT? You don't CARE what kind of evidence is out there? This asshat needs to be careful what he says, he's going to end up setting Rules of Evidence cases back 30 years with this bullshit. And as a juror, would you listen to a lawyer that said that? I don't care what kind of evidence is out there. I don't care about this airtight alibi, or the eyewitnesses, or the lack of forensic evidence, or the fact that the defendant wasn't in the country, doesn't your common sense just tell you that he's guilty? Look at him? Jack McCoy would be having a FIELD DAY with this case.

On the heels of just printing up my own, PG-13 comic book (no sex, mild violence) I'm really worried about this case. If a retailer can't sell it, what does the creator do? Why aren't these guys attacking the adult video stores? Why is sex even a problem in this country? The Italians are just laughing at us. Now that we have Reverend George Bush in the White House, this kind of emotional legal crap is going to slide down that slippery slope like Peekaboo Street coated in KY. This absolutely infuriates me. What's worse is both the Texas Court of appeals AND the Unites States Supreme Court have refused this case. So this poor schlep just trying to make a dime by selling comic books gets to spend a year under supervised probation, and pay $4000.

Now before you get up on your rebuttal soap box and say, "But Mr. Austin, don't YOU have a child? Would you want her exposed to this kind of filth?" Let me say this. First, the material in question was clearly marked, away from general viewing and required a photo ID to purchase. If you're under 18, you wouldn't have been able to even see it on the shelf. Second, I know what is bad and what is good. I know what's best for my child. I know how to watch out for her. I know what I'll tell her when she's older so she can appreciate adult material for what it is, adult material. I can't stop her, but I can educate her. It's the parent's job to teach and protect their children. I'm insulted that the legal system feels it's their job to not only obliterate my 1st Amendment rights, but to assume that my child may be in danger from a threat no worse than the Playboys in 7-11. This case is an abomination and shouldn't have gone as far as an appeal to the USSC, it should have died in the grand jury. The judge should have taken one look at this case and said, "You're kidding right?" But on the heals of the Minor Protection/Put Your Child In A Government Funded Bubble actions being taken in Arkansas right now, I fear the life of the comic book industry is slowly coming to an end. Meanwhile, prostitutes and crack heads are free to walk the streets. Yeah, I don't see the distinction either.

On a separate note, but relating a little to first part of this entry, Mrs. Austin and I met Rep. Lloyd Doggett (D-Travis County) last night at our local National Night Out event. Mrs. Austin had some question for him about his stance on the Dems breaking quorum and he said he was totally for it and in fact they're having a rally this Saturday to protest Gov. Perry's 2nd special session in the house. Mrs. Austin knows her stance, knows it's wrong to waste money on these sessions while the budgets are being cut. I'm not so sure. I want to cheer the Dems on, but I have no reference for it. I don't know enough about it to make a stance. The last couple months I've had tunnel vision and haven't paid much attention. So Mrs. Austin will be at the rally while I'm in Chicago. Please, if you're in Austin, come by the south steps of the capital at 11:30am on August 9th and make yourself heard.

If you're not, well then go find something in your state to fight for.

THE HORROR!!

As you know Mrs. Austin and I try to take time on the weekends to do all things Austin, or at least all things Central Texas. We have a guide book from Austin Monthly Magazine that comes out in May of each year chronicling the cool things to do. Well it's gone. Our oracle of knowledge about the 103 best things to do in our fair city is missing. Whatever shall we do? We'll be relegated to movies and bowling and never again experience the rapture that is swimming in a secluded spring or enjoying fine German cuisine.

It's not all that bad, but we're a little disheartened. Mainly because we turned our house upside down looking for them. (There are two, one from last year as well.) There was no stone left unturned, which leads us to one sad conclusion. The books were taken.

Now I'm not one to point fingers, so I won't. They're just magazines and we can back order more. But if turns out someone did abscond with them at some point in the past 2 weeks, how low. How low to remove a magazine from someone's house. We wracked our brains trying to think if we'd lent them to somebody at work or family, but just couldn't make any connections. They were on the table, now they're gone.

Yeah, not a lot going on at our house lately. Can you tell?

Well it's done. After 3 months of staying up late, getting pissed that some pages weren't as nice as I wanted and finally getting a great deal on printing, my comic book is finally finished. Next to being a dad, this trip to Chicago is probably the most importan thing I've done or probably will do and it wasn't an easy road. The family's made a lot of sacrifices, financially and emotionally to help make this happen and I owe them big time, especially Mrs. Austin who almost had to put off going back to school to get this going. We've had to put off a few fun things this summer and I've had to postpone my brother's birthday present as well. (I'm getting that to you by the way.)

I've learned a lot doing this, mostly in the art department. I've learned I CAN draw fast if I need to and that if I didn't need to I could do a really good job. I've learned a lot about lighting and mass and points of view. Most importantly I've learned the value of having friends and family. Between them I've been given time to work, gracious bits of work and inspiration and constant coaching and critiques that have helped make this the best it could be in the time given. I'm DEFINITELY looking forward to starting the book as a series now, making it my life's work as well as my hobby. I don't plan on quitting my job, but it's nice to have something other than a rat-race 9-5 to come home to. By this time next year I may even have a full 26 page color book. Wouldn't THAT be something.

So now I've got a box full of 100 copies of Project: Gemini sitting on my kitchen table. Some are going to a party tonight so I can bask in the limelight a little, the bulk are going to Chicago with other bits of artwork and whatever's left is going to the local comic shops. (Yeah, a book on the shelves even, how exciting!)

I'm also glad it's done, I've been slacking on chores and time with the family. Life In Austin has lately turned into Life of Mr. Austin so I hope that will change too. As much as I like drawing comics, I can't let it rule my life...yet. When it pays well enough to take care of my family, then it can do what it wants to me.

Week's worth of stuff.

What a week. So much to talk about. So much going on.

It started last weekend with Lance Armstrong, an Austinite, winning is 5th straight Tour de France. He ties Miguel Indurain of Spain for the most consecutive victories in Tour history, and since he's from Austin, that's big news for our town.

Next comes the Democrats in the Legislature breaking quorum again on a Republican called special session. This is the 2nd time this summer the Dems have exercised their option to leave the state (this time to New Mexico) and it's sparked a lot of debate. The last time a group of state senators broke quorum was 1979, the Killer B's. Before that was something like 1875. It's a huge deal in the city and state right now. For a good recap and point of view, check this out.

To cap the weekend off, Mrs. Austin and I cruised to Carlos and Charlie's on the lake. If you don't know Austin, it's basically a boat bar. Decent enough restaurant, you can rent boats and jet-skiis and they also put on concerts. Well that later bit was new to us and two of our favorite live bands, Los Lonely Boys and Bob Schneider were playing. So we went basically long enough to see them, then we headed back. I got a lot done on my (now finished) first comic and over all it was a good weekend.

The refinance woes are now a memory. After telling these people we didn't want to pay escrow at the end of the year, I guess they decided we're too savvy and would have probably dumped them sooner than later. That's the last we heard from them. Good riddance. (And that's all I'll say about finances.)

Lil Miss Austin is just developing by leaps and bounds. She's enrolled in a little dance class now that comes to her school and teaches them...well...dance, as well as some basic gymnastics. For a 2 year old, basic gymnastics include jumping and summersaults. If I see her doing any vaults in the next few weeks I'm calling Bella right now! She's still precocious and charming, lately a little whiney, like she's always hurting or tired or something. She's also just damn cute. I've noticed she still doesn't grasp the Why question, but you can be guaranteed that it will hit soon. She knows how to count and what colors are what, what's hot and cold, what hurts, what's dark and scary, what tastes good, what her name is....it's just amazing what little sponges they are.

A friend and his wife recently had their 2nd, and while I haven't seen the little one yet, I know it's going to make me and Mrs. Austin take a close look at our family planning. We like having just one child, our lives feel full enough. We always get the question, "So are you going to have another?" Well, we might? Why? Are we in a race? Did a starter's gun go off when I was in the bathroom? I know it's socially acceptable and probably a benefit for the child to have a sibling, but that's no reason to prod parents with that stupid question. If we have another, we have another one. It may be by accident or after months or years of trying. If we never have another, are we disqualified from the Earth? I'm guessing the question is more often then not just a polite conversation starter and in no way meant to pick apart the private lives of parents, but let's find some other way to break the ice, shall we? I don't want to feel that this magical little creature we dote over is somehow less than perfect because she is a single. I don't want to feel lacking because I chose quantity over quality. Don't get me wrong, I'd love to own a hockey team, but I wouldn't want to father one.

The Flip

My brother in law and I were talking about the differences between being single and married, or single and dating. We came up with a good point.

If you're single, and you know a girl who drinks a lot and is real friendly when she drinks, you do whatever you can to put yourself into a situation that involves this girl and a quart of gin.

If you're married, you try to avoid this girl or make sure you've left the bar before you're the only one left to give her a ride home.

If you're single and a girl is flirting with you at the bar, when you know it's just to get free drinks you think, "Hey, out of all the guys here, she's at least picking me to get free drinks out of."

If you're married you think, "This skank has all these other guys to work on, why's she trying to get a free drink outta me?"

Even if the girl is hot, when you're married, friendly hammered chicks are kind of annoying. When you're single they are a jackpot, and the stuff of legend.

Not that either of us have a lot of experience with this. We're both married and I'm pretty sure have it quite good. I'll just leave it at that before our wives read more into this.

Wait, wait. I've got a coupon.

Depending on what part of the country you're from, you have a local drug store. Eckerd’s, Walgreen’s, I think it's GDC on the East Coast. These stores have a weird collection of items ranging from the not-so-useful to the purely eccentric. I like to think of them as an Impulse Shoppers Paradise. Really, the only reason you should go to these places is to get your Rx filled or before a road trip to see if there's anything really novel you're forgetting, like an Alabama CD or one of 10 novels they may have. Walgreen’s, especially, is notorious for having very little in stock, nothing in bulk, and no high end items. They don't have a lot of groceries, cool Sharper Image type things or the full range of office supplies one might need. It's also a place where they could run out.

That's right, in our day and age of consumer gluttony where we're only happy with our purchasing experience when we can log roll 22 gallons of mayonnaise out to our car, having to hear the words "out of stock" seem like their coming from another planet. And they art, sort of. These midsize drug stores harken back to the days when they were the Wal-Marts and Super Targets. They were the big kid on the block. But they've kept their ideals and their size and their product selection....and their clientele.

Oh Lordy what do I gotta do to shop at this place without having to stand behind the AARP'er trying to pay for make up, deodorant (moth ball scent), batteries and cranberry juice with twice as many coupons as she has items. I've worried that I've overspent before, like at a Best Buy when I feel guilty about paying $50 for a video game, but this is nearly haggling, another lost art. "Well, I think 3 chickens is a fair price, but I think you can do better. How about 2 chickens and a duck for this basket of Maybelline?"

Not to mention that they have to pay in exact change, change they don't have ready, change they can't find, change they don't even know they may or may not have. So after 10 mins of bickering over whether the weekly special on flash bulbs and Ambesol actually registered on the register, then digging through a purse the size of a waterbed bladder looking for 96¢, it's time for me to move up.

And the whole reason I go, is because cigarettes are cheaper there. We're not just talking a few cents. If a local kiosk selling gum, muffins and smokes charges $4.50, and the gas station is charging $3.50, Walgreen’s is charging $2.50. It's weird. I guess in the end, they're keeping a lot of things from the past, including the price of smokes.

Sinead O'conner I'm not.

There's nothing like shaving your own head. I've done it once before, but it was along with my brother. We grew long hair together, we shaved heads together. Sort of a bonding experience. Back in the day, I would shave down to nigh the scalp coming ever so close to needing to Shick it to get any less hair. Well I've gone and done it again. In a desperate act of hair dresser avoidance, I clamped the #3 guard onto the clippers and let fly with about 3 months of mop.

I tell you what. Something very cathartic about shaving your own head, even better if it's on a whim. I had planned to get my hair cut, and threatened to "trim it up" myself, but never to just go at it with some clippers. So as I stood staring at myself in the mirror, stripped down to my shorts, looking at my Johnny Storm hairdo, something profound came over me. Not a sadness, but an acceptance. Like a drunk finally making the first step in recognizing his problem. So the clippers came to life and I began hacking away like a weed whacker to that unruly patch of grass underneath the gas meter. The clippers sang out like a heavy metal guitar as lock after lock was dumped into the sink. I start slowly, and around the back and sides, so if I changed my mind I could still wear a hat for a day or two while seeking professional intervention. Then with one fatal swoop, I went for the widow's peak.





Widow's peak is a euphemism. I'm 30 now and the hair is receding so it's not so much a peak as it is a remnant. It military terms, as most balding men tend to use in these situations, it's scrimmage line for an ordered retreat. But there's frightfully few of them boys left. It almost looks like I'd just missed a spot. It's thin and scattered and hopeless. It's mere presence is a reminder that, while I feel young again by taking drastic stylist steps on my own, I am moving steadily on toward the end of my life rather than moving away from the beginning. It's humbling and ridden with anxiety.

Ameriquest woes

Another fun aspect of owning a home, fun in the classic Greek sense where there's a guy wearing a mask with a big nose, is the refinancing of your mortgage loan. To say I have a good grasp of how mortgage-lending works would be to insult brokers everywhere in the world. I have no more sense about such things than the average May Fly. Mrs. Austin was either solicited or started the process on her own to refinance our 6.25 loan with Ameriquest. They said they could help AND get us cash back as a home equity loan. We said go for it.

Now, if Mr. Brighton or Mrs. Colorado Springs are reading this, let me preface by saying we haven't signed anything and don't plan to.

So some time has gone by since our first dealings with Ameriquest. Mrs. Austin has brought me up to speed and I've done what I can in my capacity as an idiot to help with the proceedings. After we'd sent many an article of payment and bank history to these folks, we're still no closer to a) Understanding what's going on and b) Getting what was promised to us than we were 2 months ago.

The original deal goes like this. Contact is made. Our credit isn't very good, it's not bad, but it's not sterling. We had good enough scores to actually obtain the house, but to get a lower rate requires a credit report that hasn't had any activity since 1960 at which point the 30 years of prior spotless payment history was closed out, sealed in the hall of records and buried under the remains of the Statue of Liberty, to be excavated by Simian descendants of man wearing leather tunics and riding horses. With this in mind, the strategy changed from "lower rate and home loan" to "higher rate for a year, home loan, next year lower rate." Ok, we agreed. To get a lower rate is worth the sacrifice of one year at a higher rate while we repair our oxygen deprived credit scores. On top of it all, we get a few G's in a loan to help with the bills. Keep the "bills" bit in mind, it'll come into play later.

More time goes by. We don't hear from Ameriquest for weeks and we're starting to worry. One of the initial points was we don't pay on our current loan for 2 months during the process. Naive as I am, I don't ask why, I just assume it has to do with paperwork changing hands. Again, total moron. So while we're waiting for our closing now, our bank note is falling behind, and no one from Ameriquest has contacted our lender to tell them we're refinancing. On top of that, the original appraisal of our house has suddenly dropped below the level that will ensure us a home equity loan. The deal is slowly going south. I feel like Lando trying to keep Bespin while Darth Vader is hunting down rebels. "This deal is getting worse all the time."

Today was the back-breaker for me. Having very little to do with the dealings up until now, my only call to Ameriquest didn't sit well with my gut. My guts have seen me through quite a few spells and I just didn't see this deal as being on the up and up. First off, I'm referring to it as a "deal." Where's Monty to let me pick door number 2? As the rep explained it to us, we would be basically getting the cash back in the form of savings over the next year from not paying on our current loan for 2 months now and 2 more months in one year's time. Then we would be getting our escrow account refunded to us. Problem is, we'd still have to pay taxes on the property at the end of the year. Meanwhile our payments on the principle and interest were going up on a monthly basis, more than what a slight interest rate increase would yield. Something sounded wrong.

Something indeed. Like fish left in the back seat of a Datsun in Baton Rouge in August, the smell of this started to stick to my clothes. As soon as we fought back, just a little, to say that it'd be better for us that we pay the Tax along with the Principle and Interest and Insurance, suddenly their computers went down and they'd have to call us back. Call it Sad, Call it Funny, but it's better than even money that it's a stall tactic that this company is trying to use to string us along until we're so desperate for the funds we'll sign on to anything. Right after the call I checked epinions.com and put Ameriquest into the search field. 2 reviews, both bad. Both basically summing up what has been said here. One with an unresolved outcome, one with a decent outcome that required calls to the Better Business Bureau.

Speaking of the BBB, you should look up Ameriquest on their site. I'd say the report was scathing, but I don't know business. I'm pretty sure that when terms like "fails" "unsatisfactory" "unresolved" and "consumer complaints" are used, that's not going to win you many beauty contests.

So now we're in limbo. Yes, it's good we haven't made any commitments. Yes, I'm glad we found out about it. Yes I'm upset we didn't get the offer that was promised. The thing that upsets me most is we're now behind in regular monthly accounting practices because of the delays. It's really unfortunate that in an effort to straighten up and fly right, get ahead on bills, get a better rate on our home, we're going to end up even further behind. Now things like school and Chicago trips are threatened. Thoughts of selling household items to pay the bills is starting to creep into my mind. Hmm, blood goes for $25 a pop. I can get 10 bucks for those X-Men cards I have. Is that fair? Is that right? Is that the American Dream? No, but it's apparently the American Quest.

(Will update this story as more information becomes available.)

You invited WHO to the picnic?

So we were going to head out to Hamilton pool Sunday for a nice little picnic and swimming. Mrs. Austin loves the place, can't seem to get enough of it. I, on the other hand, find it gorgeous and serene, but I'm not a big swimmer, so I take my art or a book and a pack of smokes and enjoy the view. Lil Miss Austin loves swimming as well. She's so cute with her little inflatable life vest and swim suit. She can dog paddle now but occassionaly tips onto her back like a turtle and starts sucking down water so we have to remain close. It's not like we can just let her do laps, she's only 2.

Anyway, we head to Hamilton Sunday morning without calling first. Bad news. Mrs. Austin is always sure to call ahead, but this time it was spaced out and I never think to call. The reason you would call ahead is because it's a natural run off swimming hole. It's not a spring, so they have to check the bacteria levels and animal fecal levels and a battery of tests that I'd just as soon not know about or I'd never go swimming there again. It's a little creek that's carved it's way into an underground cave, and over time the cave wore away and a nice little swimming hole with a beautiful water fall was born.

Well we didn't get in Sunday. We've been once this year, and 3 times last year so the only thing wasted was the expectation and the drive. So we thought, we'll let's head to Krausse Springs. Krausse is a spring that turns into a little stream that ran through an old German's land. He damned it and directed it in certain areas and the result is a breathtaking little water fall and swimming hole. Mrs. Austin found it by sheer determination and a mind like an iron trap. We'd been once before, but if you paid me to find it I'd take you to Dallas, I had no idea. So we found it, and we found it crowded. The last time we visited we were but the third car to arrive. We spent a good amount of time by the little manicured pool then headed down to the falls. This time, it was like White Trash Day. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised, it is called a swimmin' hole after all. Not that I'd want this place all to myself, but I was just amazed how many people were there. It's apparently the number one thing to do in Austin according to Austin Monthly Magazine's 103 things to do in 2003.

Well we had a good time. I dropped LMA as I slipped on some rocks, got sunburned and bitten by ants. However, I got some good pictures and some drawing done, Mrs. Austin got to swim and relax, and LMA got to play with rocks and water. It was a good time. I suggest visiting if you're in the area.

Home Sweet Home

The joys of home ownership are as numerous as the headaches. For every touch of love you put in, there's an equal and opposite catastrophe that requires you to empty your savings and learn about electrical work, plumbing or masonry.

Case and point, we have just finished doing the preliminary work on refinancing our house. Turns out we will be getting a home loan, have to pay a higher rate for a year and next year get a lower rate than what we have now. Doesn't affect our monthly payment, plus we get cash. Win win. I'm still a little confused as to how it works, but I know that the couple things left on our credit must be rectified. In purchasing the house in the first place, I know how fun dealing with your credit is, and no matter how much we fix things, in two years time something else from our past will probably pop up in a perpetual goose chase with faxes, pay stubs and phone calls.

But that's not the reason for my call, Doc. I was going off on the yin and yang of home ownership. So we are now expecting a good sized chunk of money in the next couple weeks (and for you Kato Kaylin's out there, it's to pay the bills we're already behind on, so don't look to us for a free club membership to Chez Austin.) With perfect English thespian timing, the air conditioner starts leaking. When I say leaking, I'm referring to how Niagara Falls leaks more than how a tap might drip a few times during the course of a day. There hasn't been this much water in our garage since our 2nd night in the house when I ceremoniously pried the water valve off the wall.

Being the industrious squirrels we are, and with some advice from Mr. Austin Sr., we made the trek to Home Depot and purchased some tubing, PVC elbows and other needed items and created a fine Rube Goldberg contraption designed to ferry the leaking water out of the AC/Water Heater closet and into the washing machine drain. It was A-Team tight. What we didn't count on was one thing. Water usually drips down and not up. So our ad hoc plumbing, while attractive and time consuming, really didn't do much. Along with a big air pump designed to inflate children’s' pools, we were at best keeping the deluge at bay.

A call to our local HVAC professionals, and $70 later revealed the AC doesn't drain out to where it should, but into the waste water line. We thought that made sense, so we called the City. City guy comes out and gives us the 411 on how the HVAC people screwed up out of $70 because nothing runs into the waste water line, gave us a boat load of tips on how to take care of these problems ourselves, and then didn't charge us a dime. Say what you want about city employees, this guy was top shelf. So we exchanged water on the rocks for his "contract" number in case we have any more questions and he went merrily on his way. Yeah we lost a day waiting for both these chaps, but the AC works for the next couple weeks and we have learned a valuable lesson. "It's always the 2nd guy that has all the answers."

"Flash" Jordan Thomas

Austin isnt' without its share of Freaks. Probably the most famous, and literally and institution, is Leslie. The thong wearing, gristled old whatever-it-is is a mainstay on 6th Street. However, just slightly less well known is the slew of cable access shows Austin has to offer. I've actually only seen a handful of episodes, more than half of those were of some normal looking guy getting really agitated over the Presidency.

However, even cable access fame is still fame. Our group at work just took a lunch at Spaghetti Warehouse and while there a coworker noticed an older gentleman dressed like Elvis enter the restaurant. We all took our gracious inauspicious glances at his table. Black tee shirt, trademark gold specs, chops, immaculately quaffed hair. As we were glancing and giggling, the waitress mentioned that the table was being occupied by none other than Jordan Thomas. Who? we asked. Apparently, "Flash" Jordan Thomas has one of the top rated access shows in the city and is somewhat of a cult classic. I plan on looking for this show now, but after looking at the description I may just leave this Pandora’s Box closed. See for yourself. (Look for Austin City Lights)

Virus and the Corporate World

If you haven't already guessed, I work in a corporate atmosphere. Yeah, I know. The pictures with the cowboy hat, the comic book art, the endless talk of Legos and Star Wars probably had you fooled, but sad to say I am employed by a company that actually has a middle management level.

If you've ever worked with computers in a big corporation, you'll understand my current dilemma. A few days ago, we were infected with the Muu virus. It's not like a normal bug that is opened by some technophobe who really thinks that someone they don't know cares about them enough to send them a Friendly greeting, it actually works its way into a network and looks for any shared folders, moves to them, finds more shared folders and it's on its way. While shared folders aren't hard to find on one machine, looking for them on every machine in the company takes some time, especially if they're on machines that are rarely viewed. Automation is a nasty lady when it comes to that. You hear a lot of, "Huh, I didn't even know we HAD this machine."

So for the past 4 days, we've been through a mix of scrambling around trying to stem the flow of infectious code and sitting idly by because some of our servers just aren't working. To top it all off, today, Friday, our email server goes down and we have no way to communicate to large groups at once. For problem reporting that's a big issue, I don't even have the phone numbers to call all the people I need to tell something isn't working right. Again, nasty lady. Let's just say I've got a little time on my hands.

Well guess what, today, of all days, management decides to ask how our testing is going. I work in Quality Assurance and we run all our applications through a battery of tests before they're released. For the past week we haven't had servers and sometimes our own machines to test with, but that doesn't stop the supervisory board from asking how our testing is going. How's it going? HOW'S IT GOING?? It's going freakin nowhere, Sir! If you haven't noticed, 70% of our machines won't load a desktop, the rest are using up the CPU like a cancer. Now our Exchange server is down and you want me to give you an update on our testing?

Coupled with this is the building management's uncanny knack of not providing half our building with AC on Fridays. So with coworkers in tanks tops and I in my cap, we all settle down and put up with this crap.

(Notice this has little to do with the cool things going on in Austin, just looking for a place to open up the valves a bit.)

Whew! The parents are gone!! Don't get me wrong, I love having guests, especially when it's my family, but two weeks in a row of not being able to walk around naked...

*ahem* So the comic book message board I go to on a daily basis has seen fit to nominate me as a moderator for one of their forums. It's a big deal for me actually because I've been visiting this board specifically for over 2 years and the old Wizard boards before that, so it's been a while. I'm truly honored and I hope to do a good job. It's an interesting turn of events, though. I mean, it's not like I finally obtained my degree in Art or got a raise or sold my first comic or won the lottery, but I'm so excited about it I'm bursting to tell someone. Trouble is, it doesn't sound that great to just the average Joe. Mrs. Austin was pretty jazzed about it, she knows how much time I spend there and how much the place has influenced me and my actions in the comic world. I consider it my second home, the people my extended family. I guess in terms that are more relative, it would be like being nominated to City Council or head of the PTA. It's not the presidency, but it's a small taste of power. "And with great power comes great responsibility."

Mrs. Austin is thinking of going back to school. Thinking, hell, she's registered. Classes start Aug 21st. We're of course worried about finances, but it's a chance to finish her degree so I'm all for it. Things will work out. It's a good change after 3 years of pumpin' PCs and dealing with managereal paperwork and I hope she makes the best of it. Once the convention hoopla is done, it'll be her turn to chase her dream. I'll still be drawing and making sure Lil Miss Austin is being raised in the fine tradition of hockey, Star Wars and Lego. Sure we might have to cancel the cable and DSL and sell a car if financial aid is not available, but those are small things compared to knowledge. I'm excited for her. She's excited to go. LMA is excited to see Spongebob, so it all works out.

On the Road Again. Blue Eyes Cryin' in the Rain. Crazy. Kansas City Here I Come.

Not all these are Willie's songs, not all are made famous by him although he wrote them. But one thing's for sure, when he sings them, when he sings anything, you'll know it's Willie Nelson.

8 miles up Hwy 71 in Spicewood lay the Two Rivers Canyon Amphitheater. We hauled the Mitsubishi loaded up with Mrs. Austin, Lil Miss Austin, Grandpa and Grandma Colorado and myself down the winding scenic highway until we reached the gilded oasis of music, turkey legs and redneck beer drinkin'.

Mrs. Austin purchased tickets to Willie Nelson's 4th of July Picnic months ago, practically when they went on sale. Willie Nelson is to her as a trip to Disneyworld is for an 8 year old. So making this trip to Meca-B-Q was a no brainer. With my parents buying their own tickets as well, it was just begging for a good time...

...or disaster.

Sorry, I'm reading that Da Vinci book so I'm forcing some dramatic pauses in here.

Anyway. The day was overcast and breezy. We'd heard on the radio and TV the day before (the actual 4th of July) that traffic was horrible getting into the venue. The rain made the general admission seating resemble Woodstock II. And on top of it all, The Dead (sans the Grateful) did a 3 hour set. Even Willie thought it better to avoid that trip. But that's not the 5th of July. When we went, the crowds had stayed home or left later, the traffic was non-existent, the rain stayed away, and all that was left was the fun.

Even being a confirmed anti-country fan, and recently giving in to the urge to own a cowboy hat because I thought it was more an urban apparel thing, I had a really good time. We didn't sit too close, but this wasn't Rage Against the Machine, if you wanted to get close to the stage, all you had to do was politely nudge past a few drunk Texans and you were there. Mrs. Austin did that several times, making sure to get her money's worth of Willie and her inner core's worth of heavy bass lines. I mostly sat with the parents and LMA while band after band took the stage.

I'd like to give a special recommendation for anyone reading to check out Los Lonely Boys; easily the band of the day. They were tight, energetic, fun, talented, and had a big sound with not a large band. To me, they blew away the headliners included the "Best Band in Austin" Del Castillo. Consummate performers with a natural sense of music and human emotion, I was glad to have been party to their unfortunately short set.

Willie was not the main star of the show. Don't get me wrong, it had his name all over it, but he wouldn't be on stage all the time. He'd come out and play along with each band for one song, then head back to his air conditioned bus to recoup. I don't think ANYONE had a problem with it, after all, he's freakin 70 years old. However it gave an odd sense of eulogy to the entire event, like they were celebrating the man who was only partially there. It wasn't a Willie Nelson concert, it was a Williepalooza. So when one of the acts couldn't perform because they were stuck in traffic, we had the legendary honor of hearing Mr. Nelson do 4-5 songs on his own, a twist of fate we wouldn't normally had the pleasure of hearing. It was pretty funny all in all that the next performer was "stuck in traffic" when there was no traffic either getting to the show or leaving the show. Another biz euphemism for "they're stoned off their ass and couldn’t carry a tune right now if you put it in a back pack." Needless to say, Mrs. Austin bolted to the stage and enjoyed 30 mins of unadulterated Willie (easy with the jokes now.)

I can't say it's the most fun I've ever had. It was certainly enjoyable, but it also came with a lot of sitting and worrying about my parents. The last concert they went to I'm pretty sure involved the word Pops, so having them sitting in the muddy and rocky grass surrounded by straw hats, long boys and a prominent lack of AC was giving me stress that I was unable to translate. I didn't want to leave, but I didn't want to force them to stay if they didn't want to, and I didn't want to tear Mrs. Austin away from her country music bliss. I easily blasted through half a pack of smokes in about 4 hours. Not wanting to spoil the afternoon by being a sour puss, I had a few beers and forgot about it all.

In the immortal words of Ray Wylie Hubbard, "Screw you, I'm from Texas."

I'm watching From Russia with Love and it hits me that there are a few too many scenes of 007 walking around a hotel room looking for bugs with chase music going on. The trademark Bond theme blaring with all the trumpet power it can muster, and Mr. Connery is doing nothing short of looking behind a painting for a wire. 30 minutes later, his associate in Istanbul has his private office bombed and all we get is a cello. Call me reactionary but I think the director of music must have taken a nap when he threw this baby together. Probably wrote the whole bit on a Sunday afternoon after watching The Birds and realized it was good but needed a snappier soundtrack.

So there's this little girl next door who's taken a shine to Lil Miss Austin. I can't quite imagine why, LMA is 2 and this girl is 6. LMA is working on not leaving surprises in her miniature panties and this girl is modeling swim suits. The only attraction I can figure out is that the neighbor girl, we'll call her Alice, thinks LMA is a little doll. They can't talk on any level, they don't have the same toys, Alice's other friends are even older than her, by almost a generation. Regardless, she's at our door almost every 20 minutes asking if LMA can come out to play. Actually, she's got a bit of a stutter, so it's not so much asking as it is a lot of standing there with nothing to say while she tries to chat up a 30 year old dad who wants nothing more than to slink back into his nice cool home and play Half Life. Nothing against the girl, she's really sweet, but I think she's still learning about boundaries. It's one thing to approach a family as they sit outside, playing in a pool or with a small two wheeled killing machine, it's another to come in to our house unannounced, bringing the mail. Mrs. Austin and I have got to the point where we don't answer the door anymore. I'd rather see Jehovah’s Witnesses outside than to have to small talk this little trooper. On top of it all, she doesn't give grace time from first doorbell ring to next door knock to next insistent door knock to small polite "Oh I don't think their home but I'm 6 and what do I know" door knock...*sigh* I really would like LMA to be friends with her, or anyone really. There're not many toddlers around here. However, I think Alice needs some friends her own age. Plus I'm pretty much out of lies about LMA being sick, asleep, doing her calculus homework, or dead. I mean, I'm being played by this girl and it's making my reflux act up.

The Da Vinci Code. Oh good God don't give this book to anyone unless you don't expect to see them for 48 straight hours. I received this nugget as a gift on my birf-day and I haven't read it yet. Meanwhile Mrs. Austin has absconded with it, took the day off of work, read it cover to cover, researched it online, figured out all the clues and is currently petitioning Austin Community College to open a course on the subject. I mean seriously. (Mrs. Austin here. If Mr. Austin knew anything about the book, and had as much desire as I had to read it, he would know that there already was a course!) To add insult to injustice, she's a fast reader and can accomplish such Dead Poet Society tasks, where as it will take me the greater part of a M Class star's life span to read it just one time. For example, Lord of the Rings; the full trilogy took me a year. A YEAR!! That's half my daughter’s age, to read a book! Who's the mook now??

Anyway, I hear it's a good book. I hope to find out before LMA can drive to the library to check it out.

Father in laws don't appreciate humor about pot distribution at the Austin airport. I can't imagine why. Well, maybe Timothy Leary's dad thought it was funny. Or Jerry Garcia's dad. Yeah, that's it. Pot in Austin is like Hash in Amsterdam, it's a non-issue. I don't smoke pot *coughliarcough* but I do drink a lot of coffee and eat too much pasta, ends up being the same effect. Right? RIGHT? Besides, someone who's seen Willie Nelson in concert THREE TIMES *cougholdmancough* should at least chuckle at the joke. Otherwise, no double-holed bent up Pepsi can for you at the show, man. Sweeeet. Totally.

Thirty years and a day. That's how old this human being is now. Thirty years. It doesn't feel much different than 26 and probably won't feel any different when I'm 35 or even 40. I'm sure my knees might pop a little more, and I might get acid reflux easier, but to be honest, I don't feel 30. Call it immaturity, call it denial, but I actually still have a 22 year old mind set. I still feel like this weekend I'll be going out and getting wasted and staying up all night and the next day play video games and go see a movie. I still watch cartoons. I read comics. I suppose it's "young at heart." It's hard to say.

One thing that came up in coversation was that it's not so much the age that bothers me, it's what it represents. I don't feel like I only have a certain amount of years left, I feel that the years that I've had so far have been wasted. I'm not regreting any decisions mind you, but I would have liked to have done more. Looking back through eyes that have seen 30 years of my antics, there is a great lack of accomplishment. Mrs. Austin asked last night what the biggest accomplishments I've had in my life. I had to think about it and it was kinda sad to see that my biggest accomplishments didn't happen until I was almost 30 anyway. Married, 25. Baby, 27. House, 28. Making my own comic, 30. So out of 30 years, 5 have been production.

I could go farther back and say, well I TOOK 6 years of college. I didn't graduate and yes the time was mainly spent drinking and sleeping late, so I've got nothing but some fond memories there. High school wasn't much better, instead of focusing on business, or a skill that would benefit me later in life, I chose to flounder between art, music and theater. And even then I didn't pick one to put all my energy into. I'm only now realizing that I need to stick with art. I need to ditch all thoughts of doing anything but what I like to do best and just do it. I need to abandon my drum set, my hockey skates, and any other distractions that weigh me down like so many chains on Jacob Marley. 30 is the age that snaps you around and says, "Ok, you've farted around for long enough. You didn't go find yourself in Africa or Europe, and you're too old to be starting a garage band. It's time you started on your path and stick with it. Even if your path is plumbing, do it and do it well. No more excuses."

I hope I can listen well enough.

Good news today. Mrs. Austin has decided to go back to school!! It's a big day for the Austin Family and we're behind her all the way. She was actually happy to the point of tears when she called to tell me. We're both thinking of going back to school and I'm waiting to hear from an old professor friend in Denver about my chances. Mrs. Austin will be taking classes starting August and the classes she's taking will be reimbursed through her employer. Happy days.

I know my dad went back to school. Just a few years back he graduated with a degree in business. It seems to be the thing, lately. A lot of people, especially in this economy, are taking the opportunity to go back to school and get their degree. I, on the other hand, am not going back to school because I'm looking for a better job, I just want to finish it. It gnaws at me that I went to, and paid for a good chunk of 6 years of state college, but didn't finish because I needed to find work. Turns out there were a lot of evening art and theater classes so I had to let it drop.

But this is great news for the Mrs. She's been wanting to do this for years now, and with her loans from a previous school paid off, there was nothing holding her back except just going to the campus and signing up. I know she'll be worried that she's not spending enough time with me and Lil Miss Austin, but you have to make choices and this, I think, is a good choice. If she gets her physchology degree like she wants, who knows what that will do for her. Plus, all the time she spends at school I can use to play video games. I call this a win win scenario.

I wanted to add that another friend of mine has a new job as well and it's a kick ass job doing graphic design for an insurance company. He gets to play with Illustrator and Photoshop and all other forms of digital goodness on a daily basis. He's really excited to be working with something artistic and electronic. That and Mrs. Austin's recent move to finish school got me wondering what I'm doing with my life. Sure I've got a small ashcan comic due out in August, yeah so I've drawn a picture for Bob Schneider, but that's about it. My legacy is going to be nothing more than some mediocre penciled pieces posted in cyberspace. If I were to die tomorrow, I'd have nothing of note to be remembered by other than my daughter. It's a scary thought, that what you're doing doesn't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world, but if you're smart you'll use that as motivation to get off your can and get something done. Write a book, organize a protest, something.

I'm also not very fond of the business I'm in. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate my job, or my boss or my coworkers. (Ok, are they gone now?) What I'm frustrates me is I'm doing something I'd never thought I'd do and I'm frankly not very good at. I do what I can, but since I have no vested interest in my profession other than a biweekly stipend, I can't say with mucho gusto that I'm behind my job, or my company. I just don't care sometimes. I'd rather be making neat graphics for flyers or creating websites for companies or designing characters for video games. But I'm 30 now and I don't have any training in any of those fields, I have self imposed knowledge. Were I to get a job like this, I know enough that I could figure it out in short order, but I'd have to get in the door first. Would you rather hire a student from some graphic art school with a good portfolio that has a degree or someone who's been doing it as a hobby for 10 years with no degree and a very narrow portfolio?

Yeah I don't know either.

Not to be one to burn bridges either, I've got nothing against my job now. Sometimes it's challenging, sometimes it's boring, sometimes I hate coming in, sometimes I don't mind coming in. Never, since I've got into this industry have I woke up and scrambled for the door because I'm just dying to get to work. I'd like to be there some day. I'd like to get a good night's sleep, wake up, and be excited about getting into the office. Maybe not because the job is good, but that I'm suited for the job. LMA's school has a sort of philosophy that they don't teach, they nudge. They find what the child is good at, and they encourage that path as much as possible. I wish there was job placement like that.

Some humor for your day.

Among parents and relatives of parents and friends of parents, there exists a unique flow or exchange. This reciprocal event can be found near birthdays or holidays and usually involved bags, ribbons, paper and bows. The cycle goes back and forth until all children within a group are above a certain age, which could take years. Yes in some cases the cycle has never been broken.

I of course speak of gifts, but no ordinary gifts. Ordinary gifts consist of clothing, cash and computer accessories. For your dad you buy a beer stein, your mother a necklace, your wife a nice camera, your husband a Playstation. For your coworkers, if you’re so inclined, you offer desk calendars and for you close friends you purchase items tailor made to their desires, habits and needs.

But for children that are not your own, you buy the loudest, messiest, bulkiest gift you can find. You know that you’ll never hear the sound of a professional drum kit. You’ll never experience the wonder of 2700 crayons. You’ll never enjoy the rapture that is the bubble-pop mower. Sad to say you won’t have these joys to drool over in your own household because, well first of all you’re not mentally challenged, and second, it’s just fun to watch the faces your friends make when you buy their child of 2 years a puzzle with 4000 pieces. “Wow thanks,” they say trying to hide their mix of shock and dread. “They’ll really like this."

And they will. The children will REALLY enjoy these gifts that bark, beep, honk and tweet. They will revel in putting one of the 256 blocks in enough small places that will ensure you will be looking for them for the duration of you owning that house. They will celebrate the cacophony of hand made musical instruments at 5 am on a Saturday. The problem is, you won’t.

And that’s to be expected, for you see the cycle is vicious and unspoken. You don’t actually say to a friend or sibling, “I’ll be buying your daughter the biggest loudest thing I can find because I’ll never have to hear it, but it brings me joy to know that you will for the next 5 years.” No. You do it because you don’t have to say that. They know, you know, we all know. Loud presents, messy presents, complex presents are our way of saying, “I know you love your child and this will truly test that.”

With that in mind, I’d like to give you and instance, first hand of one such a gift. As thoughtful as it was, and as enjoyable as Little Miss Austin can find it, all it is to us is a big clean up every night. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate anyone for gifts like this, nor do I think anyone hates me for the 150 sound electronic drum set. This, in fact, encourages LMA to use her creative side, which is a good thing for both her and us, and that outweighs any malevolence; intended or otherwise.





Side story, I’m picking up LMA from school today and one of the teachers told her to sing me the song they were just singing. The song was “You are my sunshine” and she sings it beautifully, albeit without the You and My and most of Sunshine, but she has these little gestures that go with it and with that face you don’t even care that she can’t sing yet. Anyway, about half way through the first stanza and another (rather pushy) older girl comes up and pretty much hijacks her song. Well about a fraction of a second before the teacher or I could react, LMA stops and says, “No! My daddy! Go away!” Teacher and I busted up. Another minor cognitive step for my little butterfly.

Just an update for those that read this that I haven't already told.

I drew the picture for Bob S. and Mrs. Austin went to his show at Antone's to give it to him. Long story short, he liked it and said he'd be in touch. I think he was probably being polite, you have to for your fans. Personally the picture really lacks most things I've been working so hard on acheiving over the last year; dynamics, good perspective, clean lines. I mean, I really hope he really likes it and isn't just saying so because I KNOW I've done better work and could probably do better given the time. But every artist is their own worst critic.

Not much more to say, really. I'm excited for the end of June, get to see both parents inside the same week, and a grandma, so that's cool. Going to Willie Nelson's 4th of July picnic/celebration and Sea World which should be just loads of fun. I will be wearing my cowboy hat to one if not both of these events.

Also, if anyone reads Fark.com keep an eye out for some Austin headlines. I've been trying like mad to get something from Austin American Statesmen in there, but for the past month I've yet to get an article posted. Must brush up on my "funny." I was also thinking of a new superhero, his power is he has a perfect wit. He never stammers looking for words, he always has a come back or anecdote or biting reply and he rarely uses a tag line or comfort word. Just so none of you get any ideas, I'll call him Quintin Iver and he is ©2003 Ben Rollman. If I see a wordsmithee type super wit guy any time in the next 70 years I'll hunt ya down and marinate you in a nice chianti.

Pee.

That's what we did on Father's Day. Pee without a diaper. Well I didn't, I'm not allowed to do that anymore, police injunction says so. This weekend was not so much focused on celebrating dad's all over the country or even in my family as much as it was celebrating that Lil Miss Austin knows how to pee in a glorified cup. Let me tell you, this is probably the best present she could have given me. LMA ran around for most of the weekend wearing nothing but here little sandles and a smile. I tried to do the same thing, but I thought the neighboors might object when I'd step outside for a smoke.

Yes, we're both very proud of her. Two, maybe three accidents all weekend. We did ask every 5 minutes if she had to go, but when she had to, and then did, man did we erupt in praise and smiles and admiration. Couple more weeks of this and she can officially no longer be called a baby, although she will always be our baby girl. It's hard though, we spent all 48 hours together and that was just dandy, but I'm worried about her going back to school. The teacher's have their own agenda and needs and duties, so my leaving a note saying "Little Miss Austin is working on potty training now so please ask her often if she has to go" is probably either going to fall on deaf ears and into the round file, or spark some "We know what we're doing" debates when I pick her up. I've seen her in school climb up on the lu and pretend to go, whether she goes or not during the course of the day can only be answered by that teacher who's name I don't know.

So in the end it was a good weekend, nothing special yet special at the same time. The wife called in "quality time." I've heard the term but really didn't know what it felt like to have it happen to me, and I only realized it after it was done. I'd always gone LOOKING for quality time, and usually ended up taking a nap.

Tell you how much of a badass Mrs. Austin is, she's my own little PR firm.

Last night we went to Shady Grove, an Austin restaurant that occasionally has some live music. Well Bob Schneider was playing last night and, Mrs. Austin being the enormous fan that she is, wanted to go. I arranged the baby-sitting with a friend and we were off.

First of all, there is barely enough parking at Shady Grove for when you just want to go and eat, let alone when a local legend is playing for free. She got there at 5:30 for an 8pm show and it was already packed. After I dropped the kid off, I headed downtown and circled the establishment for about 45 mins before finding a spot to park, then waited in line to get in for another 45 mins. It was 30 mins into the show when I was finally able to get in. Luckily he didn't play any of my favorite songs yet.


So we watch the show, do a little dance, drink a little beer and just have a good old time. Today reports from local radio KGSR indicate attendance records were broken for Shady Grove to the tune of 1,500 people. Doesn't sound like a lot I know, but when you consider the restaurant has the seating capacity of your average Bennigan's, with a moderate size patio, the number is staggering. Needless to say it was standing room only, unless you were one of the fortunate 200 that got chairs. Our view was really good, we were only about 70 feet away from the stage and had a clear view, clearer as the evening went on and people in front of us began leaving or moving around.

I was a bit saddened that he didn't play Beatomatic, otherwise known as the Batman song, but they did do Tarantula so I was pretty pleased. After a crowd pleasing set, he excused his drummer guitarist and bassist and brought up a string quartet and they proceeded to lose the crowd. This really gave me the impression that he just loves playing and he's in it for his love of music and hopefully some fans will appreciate it to. The last 2 songs were love songs, very somber and quiet and the strings weren't miked so all you heard was him for the most part. Interesting way to end a show.

But it gets better.

I wanted to draw a picture of Bob wearing a Batman tee shirt to pay homage to the guy in a way only I can. But I didn't know how to get it to him other than finding his agent or promoter and mailing it to them, knowing it'd see the trash before it got to him. (Which is unfair to say, the last show we saw him I was having a smoke by the entrance and he just walked by like he was coming to see the show, then later that week I saw him at a mall with just one girl. In Austin he's a household name, but outside of that I'm not sure.) Let's just say he's probably still local enough to be pretty accessible, but famous enough to require event staff at a show.

So Mrs. Austin knew about my comic book picture idea, so after the show was over and the lamo fans who didn't get their encore left, leaving the drunk and stoned among us to mill around discussing the finer aspects of how much we really wanted to get some pancakes or enchiladas at 10 at night, she "rushed" the stage. Bob was greeting people, signing some shallow chicks' breasts or faces or whatever, saying hi to friends, and this is how the story goes as told by Mrs. A.

"So I walked up there and he's signing autographs and all and I said 'Hey Bob, can you listen a minute while you sign stuff?' 'Yeah,' he said. 'My husband is a comic book artist and he wants to draw a picture of you wearing a Batman tee-shirt.' He stops what he's doing and looks at me and says, 'What?' 'My husband is a comic book artist and he wants to draw a picture of you wearing a Batman tee-shirt, does he have your permission?' 'Yeah,' he says. 'Ok,' I say, 'So how does he get it to you?' 'Tell him to bring it to Antone's on Tuesday, I'll be there,' he says. 'Ok,' I say, 'thanks.'"

My brush with fame brought about by my personal PR firm. Only problem is now I have to produce. I have 3 days to come up with a good picture. Not that the picture itself is going to be hard, but as an artist I'm going to stress about this because I'm showing it, GIVING it, to what would be considered a huge celebrity, local or otherwise. So I'm off to start sketching, wish me luck.

P.S. Should you need balls the size of coconuts, talk to my wife.

So I've ignored the pictures as of late. We take a lot of pictures but I want to hold true to what Mrs. Austin's wishes are and not just spew photos out across the internet. It would be the same as her scanning all my crappy sketch book pages and emailing them to all my friends. Some of my stuff is private, and more often then not, sucks ass, so I don't want just anyone to see it.

With that in mind however, I do have a responsibility, mainly to family, to show some of what goes on down here, so I've chosen a few photos that aren't anything special, but they amuse me and if they can amuse you then so be it.



We'll start with the Yippiekiyay Mother F***er look that I've recently been sporting. I didn't realize that it was almost a requirement to own a cowboy hat if you live in Texas. I suppose it's similar to owning a pair of skiis if you live in Colorado or a Hawaiian Shirt with Black Socks in Florida. I didn't want the traditional 10 gallon variety, as I'm not a "native" but I'd always liked the way the straw version looked. I could fit in while attempting to retain the urban look. Beck would wear this hat, right? Mrs. Austin just thinks it's horribly sexy and I for one like wearing it so who's to judge. By contrast, a friend wrote me asking why it took so long. She was in Dallas for 2 hours before buying one for herself. Whether she wears it now that she's in the Bronx is another matter.



Lil Miss Austin is just getting so cute. Biases aside, that face is just money. This was our first (and last) attempt at giving her hair some curl, an act that really forced me to admit that she was a girl. No amount of hockey or comic book influence can take away one night with a set of sponges in your hair. This coupled with some toe and fingernail polish completed the ensemble and she was ready to go. The actual result was a bit odd, the back was nice and curled, but the front shot up in this bizzaro Weed Whacker look that I hadn't seen since my days in high school when the Shouting Bangs look was all the rage.



Don't let this picture fool you, this kid doesn't sleep. She fights naps at school and wakes up every 90 mins during the night. It's apparently a 2 year old thing. She's starting to be afraid of the dark, bugs and loud noises. She also may have reached a certain point where her brain is evolving and can't just turn off. Consequently she's up all night while her brain is going over its To Do list. Last night wasn't the worst, but any time you go to open your child's door, but it's being blocked by the child who's fallen asleep on the floor, CPS and a shot on Ricky Lake can't be far behind. Yes this makes me feel like a bad parent, but getting 6 hours of sleep sure doesn't.



And this is LMA doing her Aurther impression. I don't know how Mrs. Austin got this picture, but I'm sure there was some kind of liquid involved. Humans just don't make that face unless they are hammered or can't breath. I have to figure out how to enter this picture into some kind of contest because I'm sure it would win.

No picture to go with this, but something I was mulling over. LMA spends about 50 hours a week at her school. That's a lot, I don't even work that much. We did some rough calculations and if you take sleep time out of an average week, her school sees her 6 hours more than we do. That really hurt me as a parent, that all the worrying and struggle and sleepless nights and I only get her half the time she's awake. So I thought, it's not that bad, her teachers have 5-10 other kids to worry about at any given time, so it's not like they focus on her, or that she really knows them like she knows us. That thought was quashed as we pulled up to her school what morning and one of her teachers was getting out of her car. She shouted the teacher's name in nearly the same volume and tone as she shouts "Daddy!" when I pick her up every day. She actually sounded like she missed her and it almost broke my heart. I hope that in a few years I can retire early, or work less or from home and be with her more often because I don't feel I'm doing anything to shape her nubile mind outside of scolding her for not staying in bed or upsetting her by telling her there's no milk or Wiggles in the car on the way home.

Mrs. Austin just called and ordered us a copy of Austin Monthly magazine. The May issue has 103 things to do in 2003. We had and used the 102 things to do in 2002 as a guide to our summer last year and it was really quite the thing. Some of you may remember photos from Hamilton Pool, the Austin Wildlife Preserve, Austin Zoo and other fun family outings.

This year promises to be more of the same, we hope. Lil Miss Austin is a year older and more developed and will probably react differently to camels and large turtles and splashing marine animals, but that's our hope. Life is not without unexpected results from planned events, and if it weren't for those little gems of existence, I probably wouldn't be writing anything at all. This page has become more of a place to unload personal problems than a chronicle of amusing vacations or changes we're seeing in our daughter, but that should change soon. Granted, some of what we want to do requires a babysitter, and that's ok. Miss Squiggles doesn't have to go with the parents to everything, in fact, in order to remain sane I'd rather she didn't.

We've already got a lot planned, my 30th birthday is 19 days away and both parents are coming in on opposing weekends. One weekend will be Sea World, the next will be Willie Nelson's 4th of July festival. Then after that will be the convention in Chicago, then in September will be Eddie Izzard up in Colorado. With 3 months of activities like that, I'm wondering when we'll have time to fit in the local things like swimming at Barton Creek or taking a tour of the Governor's Mansion. We'll just have to see.

Lil Miss Austin isn't sleeping still. It's been almost 2 weeks since her doctor's visit and discovery that she had a bad ear infection and the antibiotics have taken care of that. But you could almost set your clock to her waking up around midnight, then again at about 2, then again right at 6am. It's starting to really wear on the grownups as I don't think either of us have got 8 hours of sleep in close to a month. We're snippy, grouchy, short tempered and unmotivated. Mrs. Austin's job requires her to be on and kickin' and I've got to stir up some drive to get a major project finished. When we get home, however, the life is just drained from us. All we want to do is eat dinner, have a smoke, watch some Law and Order and hit the sack. I can't even find the strength to read anymore much less draw.

Last night was just horrible. For the last two days I've had this headache that was probably part allergies, part sinus pressure for recent atmospheric activity. I took a proven cocktail of 2 parts sinus meds, 2 parts Excedrin to combat the discomfort. That may have been a bad move as the rest of the night my body was buzzing like a locust after a double cappuccino. My head wouldn't shut up and the thought of sleep was so far away I was actually getting panicky, which didn't help either. LMA woke up her predictable 3 times during the evening, and we took turns "I pat you" until she fell asleep again, but it's getting to be a pattern and I'm not sure it's a good one. Not sure, hell, I'm damned sure it's not a good one. She set to be sent to a friends house tomorrow so Mrs. Austin and I can have an evening out, but my fear of her staying up all night and bothering her hosts is really clouding the euphoria at having time to ourselves.

The trick is, something is waking her up, but we can't find out what it is. We've tried lights on, lights off, noise machine, dead silence, no water before bed, water whenever she wants it, staying with her all night, leaving her alone, sleeping with her, sleeping with us. Short of sticking her in a box in the garage, I don't know that we can do anything else aside from waiting until she's 18.

Well, it's the middle of the day, I'm at the office. I think I might go try and sleep in my car for my lunch break.

Well phooey, I had this HUGE rant entered about the new smoking ban in Austin and Blogger just friggin dropped it. I SHOULD have a few entries written about losing entire entries after spending hours on them. Buckets and buckets of crap!

Anyway,
feel free to read about it yourself. It's a load of crap that 7 people get to decide on an ordinance, 7 people we voted for, but frankly, probably don't go to bars in the first place. It's a big topic right now in Austin, even bigger because the vote was 4-3, the 4th vote being councilman Will Wynn who is now Austin's mayor. The two running for his position on the council are split, one for, one against the ban. Can you guess which guy I'll be voting for?

It's just a stupid waste of legislative action. The ban will only include bars and restaurants, but billiard halls, bingo parlors and fraternal organizations are exempt. That's pretty hypocritical of them to say they're looking out for the health of patrons and employess, just apparently not in pool halls or bingo joints. It's more liberties the government is taking away, pretty soon you won't be able to watch certain shows because the government will sick the FCC on those stations, or better yet, will tell cable companies not to air certain shows that they don't like. I can't imagine how this is helping Austin. There was a smoke free bar at one point, it shut down after a few months because no one went. It's what you do in a bar, drink and smoke. It's always been that way. If you don't want to smell like smoke or breath second hand smoke, don't go. A bar really doesn't offer anything else, just liquor, maybe some shuffleboard, so don't use that "Yeah, but I like to see live music too." I would guess over half of Austin's live music venues are either out doors or in a large auditorium where you can't smoke anyway, so that's a line of bull.

I'm pretty hot about this so I think I'll stop before someone's sensibilities are injured.

Hey kids, what time is it?

No it's not Howdy Doody Time. No it's not time for Barney. No, not Bozo or Teletubbies. Nope, not him. Oh come on, don't you know? I'll give you three guesses. He lives in the ocean and others are trying to find him. No not Hoffa, I'm talking about Nemo. And the reason I'm talking about Nemo is because Lil Miss Austin has been talking about Nemo. It's ALL she talks about. We get into the car, "Go see Nemo?" The doorbell rings, "See Nemo?" We get ready for school in the morning, "Nemo?" The only addition to the pleas is, "Nemo, go shopping?" After all you have to have your priorities, she is so her mother's daughter. As much as Mrs. Austin wants to believe that she's daddy's little girl, the fact that the kid always wants to go shopping is a clarion call to the female persuasion. I like shopping just as much as the next guy, which is to say I like buying things. I like going in, getting it, and getting out. Unless I'm at Best Buy, then I try my hardest just to hang out.

Point of the story lost, moving on. Finding Nemo is a really great film. I won't spoil it here so don't worry. Pixar has just never really made a bad movie. Bug's Life, Toy Story, Monsters Inc, Finding Nemo. I know I'm missing one or two, but you get the idea. They're movie gold. They are what Lucas/Spielberg were in the 80's (Howard the Duck notwithstanding.) But it's just a great family film. Good CGI, heartwarming story, humorous dialogue. Just a thumbs up on all sides.

A few other things for readers out there. Mr. Austin now owns a cowboy hat (and I'll touch on that in a minute) and Lil Miss Austin had a really bad swollen eye the last couple days, probably a mosquito bite, but it was pretty sad. We woke up Tuesday morning to see her eye nearly swollen shut. No leaky stuff or crusty, just really red and puffed out, she looked like a boxer. It's frightening to look at, but she was in no pain or discomfort. However, I still don't think she fully understands complex questions like "Does your eye hurt?" "Does your eye itch?" She'll say "Yes" then you ask, "Did you kill the President?" And she'll say "Yes." So it's hard to gauge really.

On a purely weird note, I've shaved my back again. I hate getting that done. Mrs. Austin doesn't seem to mind at all, and the results for the first day or so are always pleasant, so I don't know. I know that Mr. Austin Senior is long in the back fuzz department and while I don't remember him ever getting it shaved, I just have bad memories of my mom doing something to his back. Just makes me feel old I guess. But to be sure, it really shows off my tattoo, which is cool. I'm reminded of the Sienfeld episode where he shaves his chest. If I do this weekly for, oh I don't know, the rest of my life, I could use that hair to maybe transplate to my head when I go bald. Then I'll look just like the short 'n' curlies Hair Club for Men commercials.

Outstanding.

Quick entry because my arms are killing me. A guy from work owns a boat and yesterday I went out with them on Lake Travis. (Lake Travis, for those who don't live here, is basically the Colorado River that's damned up at various points along the way. When I say Colorado River, it's not The Colorado River that cuts through the Grand Canyon. Why there are two, I don't know. Any way, the lake country is some of the most beautiful in Texas and has a lot of activities and parks and day trip ideas to choose from.

Most people, though, just take their boat out on the "lake" or the wide river that goes through Austin called Town Lake. We had to work on Saturday till about noon doing absolutely jack for 4 hours and then were invited to go out on this guy's boat. It was fun and relaxing. I haven't been on a boat since I moved from CO. We used to go waterskiing all the time on Standley Lake with a friend of my dad's and those were heady days, my friend. Up at the asscrack of dawn, gas up the boat, buy some beer/cokes and donuts and hit the water. You get out early enough and the water is like glass, much easier to ski on. As the day goes on and either the wind picks up or more boaters come out, the water gets choppy.

So the water wasn't great yesterday right near the boat launch so we cruised up about 30 minutes past the 360 bridge and towards Mansfield Dam. It was here that the water dropped to about 70°, it was pretty chilly. So a few jumps in, a few runs on the wake board (which I've never done, but got up on the 3rd try, which according to the other guys is pretty amazing) and a game of spades over beer later, I'm burnt to a crisp. I didn't realize until I got home, but I'm pretty pink right now, and it's a lot of fun to have a two year old jump all over you with a sunburn. Not to mention that my forearms are killing me while I'm typing this. I'm supposed to be drawing right now, but I don't think the muscles in my arms would allow that for any length of time.

But, for having to go in to the office on a Saturday, it wasn't a bad trade off.